Hi guess i may have to introduce myself

by rickisteel 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • cofty

    Hi Rickisteel, welcome to the forum.

  • tec

    You sound like you've been carrying quite a load. Sometimes just having people to talk to with will lighten some of that load. Welcome to the forum.

    Peace to you,


  • clarity

    I read your post and said ....oh dear.

    You have been toughing it out for a very long time on your own,

    sorry this has happened to you Rick.


    Just want to say that I was fooled by the wt organization too,

    for 5 decades! Since my eyes opened 2 yrs ago... I feel much

    healthier, mentally, physically & emotionally.


    If you read the archives of posters for the last 11 yrs, you will

    hear this same experience to a large extent.

    This organization teachings are so "crazy making" that it causes

    mental confusion & breakdown!


    All of your family very well may feel so much better

    once you get away from the crazyness. Once you become

    'normal' again .... you will be shocked at what you were believing!


    Very best of luck (we can say that here) to you all.


    Hang in there and keep your eyes open and fingers typing!


  • PaintedToeNail


  • rickisteel

    thankyou for the kind comments , im a bit confused at the minute , slightly wary , but im going to be reading the 2 books cantleave has

    suggested , my wife has been recently diagnosed with carpall tunnell in both hands and a tumour on her pertuatary gland and is havinf real bad headaches so we are struggling on , she has also been mistreated by her phychiatrist (she is down as a jw) , which has been ongoing , i lost it with him , so now a member of a MIND goes with her , she had wonderfull treatment and a good relationship with her last phychiatrist who was a born again christian and a lovely lady but sadly retired and moved back to Ireland ,

    about 2 years ago we had a shepparding call with a n elder and the east penine assembly hall overseer, at the end he stated that Jehovah forgives everything except the unforgiveable sin , if we commit this everything we have done in his service was thrown away, of course after i assumed ( by his tone ) that i had done this , i went into a mental turmoil of self destruction my poor wife has been through this with me i had 2 motorcycle accidents (my own fault) started drinking heavily , to be honest over the past year it has been so bad im surprised im still alive , has anyone else gone like this when doubting there whole life and beliefs ? i still pray everyday but nothing seems to happen so thar reafirms in my head ive commited the unforgivable sin , my wife rang and told the elder this and he said it was an attitude but made no effort to come and explain , hes now gone , im just thinking where now ? what am i ? i live in a no mans land and with not working because im my wifes carer i dont have any friends outside the organisation , and im now in official hiding from family etc as christmas is coming and we dont celebrate it , ( we were very staunch against it when we became witnesses) so you can imagine its pretty strange with family because of this , by the way ive never celebrated holidays my whole life as i was born into a witness family and it doesnt seem to mean anything to me even now

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    You haven't commited any unforgiveable sins Ricki, and you haven't left any church that matters to any gods. If Jehovah really did support this church's leaders, he wouldn't have left them high and dry without any fulfilment in 1975, 2000 and at every other date the Watchtower invented for him.

    You and your wife are not guilty of leaving Jehovah's Organisation, as Jehovah has consistantly refused to confirm that it is his org by getting off his butt and proving it .... ever .... not even once ... nada ... zilch ... zero .... nobody at the office except a bunch of old men ... many of them younger than me now cos the generation that was never going to die has nearly all died off.

  • AnnOMaly

    First of all, rickisteel, get the idea that you've committed the unforgivable sin out of your head right now. You are stretched to your limit by your circumstances. You must be mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually drained trying to juggle everything and you won't be seeing straight. You need respite and some way of taking the load off yourself where you can. Can you talk to your doctor? There may be facilities/charities locally where carers can chill out (even for an hour or two), meet others in similar situations. I wish I could be of more help. You sound like you're about to crack and that is of concern.

    As for your family and the pressure of Christmas - just wish them well with whatever they are doing. You and your wife (and kids?) hunker down over the holidays, buy a few little treats, enjoy each other's company, watch movies.

  • phil the fish filleter
    phil the fish filleter

    Greetings, another UK escapee here.

  • AnnOMaly

    rickisteel, I've just seen a comment you made on another thread. I and our family have never celebrated Christmas either and it's hard to integrate with the wider community (or extended family) even though our views on it have relaxed. You make of the holiday season what you want to make of it. Suggestion: send your family greetings cards, perhaps with a winter landscape picture, blank inside, with 'We're thinking of you and wish you well for the coming year.' It's not full-on Christmassy but it's an initial gesture. It will likely be received gladly and reciprocated next year.

  • gorgia

    Hello rickisteel, I'm new too, thank you for sharing your life experience - from my vantage point you are an inspiration of strength.

    I can see from what you have written that you are swamped in despair and confusion - I have too, at certain times in my life so far - but again, from what you have written, you sound an intelligent, compassionate, loyal human being of much worth. It will take time, but one day, I promise, you will not care for what these people think/do not think of you and your family; you will know what you know about yourself, all the good and bad, and that will be just fine. gorgia

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