knock knock
who's there?
little old lady
litlle old lady who?
gee, I didn't know you could yodel
Here's a cute joke...
by ohiocowboy 46 Replies latest social humour
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tiki
LOVE the blondes on the airplane one!!! and three year olds don't eat boogers.....haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
guy walks into the bar........second guy walks into the bar.................third guy ducks. okay - it's a groan, i know!!!
dead lawyer and dead skunk in the middle of the road....how can you tell which is which????
...................skid marks in front of the skunk......................................
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Giordano
Alternate meanings for common words:
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation ehile drunk.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door while wearing only a nightgown.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
Lymph, v. To walk with a Lisp.
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glenster
Is it possible some Romney supporters are a little pissed off?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhIWAuHvulA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziPnBbZjGOw -
MsGrowingGirl20
Bangalore that is the BEST!!!
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smiddy
Superman is flying over a beach,looks down and spots wonder woman lying naked apparently sunbathing.Feeling a bit horny he thinks to himself ,I`ll nip down their for a quickie , so down he goes .
KAPOW !!{ Wham Bam Thank Ya Maam} ,then flys off.
WW : What the HELL was THAT !!?
The invisible man answers : I dunno , but it sure was a pain in the arse .
smiddy
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jam
Young MS being considered as an Elder
Elders: we have had our eyes on you and you seem to be
quite knowledgeable when it come to the scriptures.
Which part of the New Testament do you know best, ask
one of the Elders. The young MS said "several parts." So
the elder ask, why don,t you tell us the story of the
Prodigal son.
The young man said fine.
There was a man of the Pharisees name Nicodemus, who
went down to Jericho by night and fell upon stony ground and
the thorns choked him half to death. The next morining Solomon
and his wife, Gomorrah, came by and carried him down to the
Ark for Moses to take care of. But, as he was going through the
Eastern Gate into the Ark, he caught his hair in a limb and he
hung there forty days and forty nights and he afterwards did hunger.
And, the ravens came fed him. The next day, the three wise men
came and carried him down to the boat dock and he caught a ship
to Ninevah. And when he got there he found Delilah sitting on the
wall. He said, "Chunk her down, boys, chunk her down. And they
said, how many times shall we chunk her down, till seven time seven?
And he said, Nay, but seventy times seven.So they chucked her down
four hundred and ninety times.
And she burst asunder in their midst. And they picked up twelve
baskets of the leftovers. And in the resurrection whose wife shall be?
One of the Elders suddenly interrupted the young MS and said to
the other Elders, he is awfully young, but he sure does know his
Bible. He will make a great Elder.
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tec
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation ehile drunk.
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fakesmile
a momma tomato, papa tomato, and a baby tomato were out for a walk. the baby tomato was lagging behind so the papa tomato squashed the baby tomato and said, "catchup"... will someone shoot me in the heart with a 50 cc's of adenalin? dirty limerics were too low brow? really? oh, there are some wild people on this board.
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AGuest
One of the only three jokes I know... and I've prolly posted it somewhere else on this board (peace!):
A Jewish rabbi, Anglican priest, Baptist minister and their wives are travelling on the same plane and it crashes. All are killed. The three and their wives all go to heaven and are standing before Peter at the the Pearly Gates. The rabbi takes his wife's hand and the two step forward to enter.
"Not so fast!" says Peter. "You, sir, are a man who loves money. In fact, you love money SO much, you married a woman named Penny. Off to the 'other place' with you both!"
The priest grabs his wife's hand and confidently steps forward to enter.
"Not so fast, you two!" say Peter. "You, sir, are a man who loves wine. In fact, you love wine SO much, you married a woman named Sherry. Off to the 'other place' with you both!"
The Baptist minister turns to his wife, takes her hand, and says,
"Well, Fannie"...
The other two include one pretty lame one and one that sorta dances on the "line" of decency, so I'll stop here.
Peace!
SA, on her own...