Some assistance and suggestions please: Email with my sister (page 4)

WinstonSmith

@00DAD: Full of good advice as usual bro! I am indeed treading lightly, and hoping to draw her out more. So true that because of this stupid cult you can't even have an honest conversation with your own sister!

@jgnat: You picked up on a point that really got my back up. Here she was crying for help, and it turned into a discussion of her qualifications to pioneer??? This really shows how far removed the elders are from Jesus' example. Did the lady with the flow of blood get told off for breaking the law? Did Peter get the sack for denying Jesus. This case with my sister sadly shows what happens when people put down the bible and pick up a rulebook compiled bunch of old dudes who are completely unaware of the real world. My sis is strong, and a battler, but I have not heard her speak in this way before. This is why I am concerned and want to help. Not even from just the JW side of things. Just a little brother wanting to help his big sister.

@Skeeter1: You just succinctly described in one short sentence the entire history of Jehovsh's Witnesses :-P

@OTWO: You are so right that they seem to be using the priveliges as a negotiating point. These things should at best be a side issue. It is very clear that the elders have realised that they have no idea what to do. Since my brother in law and sister didn't just roll over and go away, they have switched to Legalism Mode. It exposes more than ever that these guys have no idea what they are doing. Truth be told, I feel sorry for them.

rebel8

“well if you read the bible and apply what you learn, things like this don’t happen”

They're right. Just not sure that will be of help in waking her up. It could be instrumental or backfire entirely.

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets." --Jesus (Matthew 5:17 NAB)

Genesis 3:16 a husband shall “rule” over his woman

Genesis 38:16-24 Judah can commit incest, use a prostitute, and impregnate a younger woman, yet she is the one deserving of death.

Exodus 21:3-4 Wife and children of a male slave are merely property of the master

Exodus 21:7 God sanctions selling ones daughter into slavery & gives out laws on how it should be done.

Exodus 21:10 God ordains men taking several wives and even sets up laws as to how multiple wives should be handled.

Leviticus 12:1-8 Birthing a male is cleaner then birthing a female, hence a mother must purify TWICE as long when having a daughter.

Leviticus 18:19 Goes onto say that even LOOKING at a menstruating woman is wrong.

Leviticus 19:20 If a man has sex with a slave or betrothed woman he must then whip her, yet the man gets to go free.

Leviticus 21:9 Unchaste daughters of priests must be burnt to death. No rule about unchaste sons.

Leviticus 27:3-7 God places a dollar value on human life; with women worth less than men.

Numbers 30:3-16 A woman can’t make a vow unless her husband allows it.

Numbers 31: 14-18 Moses tells his men to kill all the males, non-virginal women, elderly and children of the Midianite tribe. Of course, the virgin women are kept for raping. If you read later down in the scripture God states that the Jews can not even marry a Midianite woman (with exception to Moses). Hence these women who were captured were repeatedly raped and impregnated and they weren’t even allowed a marital status in which to protect them.

Deuteronomy 20:13-15 Kill all the men and boys in the cities that God “delivers into your hands,” but keep the women for raping.

Deuteronomy 21:11-14 If you see a pretty woman among the captives then just take her home and “go in unto her.”

Deuteronomy 22:5 Women that wear men’s clothing are an “abomination unto the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 22:13-22 Women, be sure to keep the tokens of your virginity. Otherwise the men of your city may stone you to death. This does not apply to men though, of course.

Deuteronomy 22:23-24 Women who are raped and fail to “cry out loud” in a populated area are most likely enjoying the attack should be killed.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 A rapist must buy his victim from her father for 50 shekels.

Deuteronomy 25:11-12 Says that we must cut off a woman’s hand if she touches the “secrets” of a man who is fighting with her husband…“And thine eye shall not pity her.” Once again, there is no punishment for the man, only the woman.

WinstonSmith

@NotJustYet: Good advice to work on things that she cares about or has been affected by. I'll keep this in mind as things develop.

@Joe Grundy: I completely agree with all four of your points. It seems time and again that in situations like this when the elders get involved, things get worses. The reason for this is, as you stated, because the elders and the WTS are not neutral third parties. All they want to do is cover their asses. Sad, but true and oft repeated.

@James Woods: The first draft of my email was much more direct than what I put in my OP. I then scaled it back to what I posted. Then I sent an even shorter version. I realised that while have come a long way, I sometimes forget that my sister might not be far aling at all. I'm hoping to draw her out more before getting down to brass tacks.

@Apognophos: All good mate. I think my scaled back version has just enough in it based on our previous conversations tyo draw her out if she is ready.

@RayPublisher: Thanks for reading through I know you are a busy man! I opted for a shorter version in the hope of establishing better where she is at. As I said before, I feel like I'm defusing a bomb!

stepkimb

Since your sister is asking I believe you should be straight forward. There's great books out there on marriage that deals with communication. Your sister and brother-in-law seems to have more of a communication problem. Marriage counseling and reading books on communication is a suggestion I would give her. I've read "difficult conversations" and "Ten lessons to transform your marriage".

I created the website jehovahwitnessexam.com to have the witness answer the questions. I make no comments against the organization. You can examine the site and see if you feel comfortable with her answering the questions.

WinstonSmith

Well, it has now been almost a month since I sent off my abbreviated email. Still no reply!

Her friend has gone home now, and Mum is due there any day now. Hmmmm. It is not uncommon for a couple of weeks to pass between our usual correspondence, but this is now longer than normal.

Just sent a breezy "Hey how's it going, did you have fun with X are ya looking forward to Mum coming?" type message.

*sigh*

00DAD

Odd, no response. It was a good idea for you to send the follow up. Hopefully she'll come around soon.

How are you and Mrs. WS doing?

00DAD

whathappened

She probably is trying to be strong, take the council of the elders, and work on their problems. She may be ashamed to discuss the more intimate details of the issues between her husband and herself. Just be there for her, as you have already assured her you would.

Wish I had a loving big brother like you.

WinstonSmith

Hey guys, thanks for taking the time to post :-)

I know she has been flat out and that at the same time, all of the crap she's had from the elders will be weighing on her. I hope she's just taking sometime to recharge before Mum arrives. Boy if I had sent the email from my opening post instead of the short version, I would currently be crapping myself at the delay! I'm sure she'll reply when she is ready.

In the meantime, Mrs Smith and I are doing great! I really really really really hope that at some time in the near future my sister can feel this sense of freedom that comes from having our eyes open.

whathappened

Thanks for the update. It is hard to be patient, isn't it. I have to keep reminding myself of the saying " when the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

She will get back to you. Her marriage sounds not so good anyway. Maybe leaving the religion will save it...who knows what will happen.

Some assistance and suggestions please: Email with my sister

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