having served as an elder for a while, i have to agree unfortunatly with the comments from "doubing bro" in regards to how a person practically qualifies to serve as an elder. and with my many years of service and with long time clinicaly diganosed major depressant wife, i have to say that very few elders really understand mental health issues. the most common comment from these ones is just to pray more and go out in the ministry. man, when i used to hear those things, it used to do my head in. pioneer elders were the worst. in my wife's situation, the person who encouraged her the most, was a sexually abused sister who had so many issues herself but who have the most caring heart you could imagine. sadly this sister was disfellowed for her drinking problem and latter suicided. i'm still not over that one. in the end, in my opinion, if you know someone is suffering from depression, just kiss them, hug them and tell them that no matter how bad they feel about themselves, that you love them ... and then offer to go with them to the doctor.
WT Elders school: The WTS has progressed from just plain stupid to dangerously stupid
by sir82 111 Replies latest jw friends
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Calebs Airplane
AlfredJones... best advice I've ever heard... "love"... simple yet very effective! Thanks for sharing.
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panhandlegirl
you know someone is suffering from depression, just kiss them, hug them and tell them that no matter how bad they feel about themselves, that you love them ... and then offer to go with them to the doctor.
I agreee with this advice. When someone is depressed enough to comtemplate suicide they need assurance and professional help. Depression is more than "the blues." It's a serious medical condition. The elders are not qualified to deal with this type of situations. As an RN, when people come to me with physical problems, I always tell them to go see a doctor, they are the ones that have the knowledge to deal with these problems. I also agree that the borg causes alot of depression. How well I remember feeling hopeless when I was in.
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sir82
Is this a DVD being played?
There was a laptop connected to a projector. I suspect it is a password-protected video file that only COs have access to.
One other creepy thing about this video.....
The lead elder on the shepherding call had this god-awful semi-smile on his face the whole time. He also spoke every sentence at about half of what I would consider normal talking speed.
The sister is over in her chair, talking about offing herself in the garage.
Then Brother Elder with his semi-grin says something like "Job felt the same way".
The sister replies "Oh but he wasn't nearly as messed up as I am."
Brother Elder with the semi-grin says "Well, let's take a look at some of the things he said..." And so on.
It was just flat-out creepy, that semi-grin he had on. The whole time. Whether she was talking about suicide or cookies, his facial expression did not change.
Frankly, he reminded me a bit of Heath Ledger as the Joker.
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Doubting Bro
Alfredjones 100 - welcome to the board. Your advice is spot on.
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TD
The scenario with the depressed lady strikes me as a situation where another woman could help so much more than a man could. Except perhaps informally, I doubt very much if that would ever happen in WT land though.
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alfredjones100
on this issue of helping a depressed person, we the healthy tend hang back when we should be jumping in to help. i know that it's hard for many reasons. we worrry about being sucked into their problems, we worry about what others would say if other brothers see us hugging a crying woman in the kingdom hall. we can worry about a lot of things. and somethings are risky thats for sure. i've been burned too in the past by trying to help out. and so we tend to stand back and just watch with a sorrowfull look. but what happens if you just do that ... and the next meeting you learned that person killed himself or herself. how will you feel then? pretty damn useless thats for sure. but if we are carefull and even go with someone else, a lot of good can be done. of course we have to be realistic about how much help we can really be ... but like giving first aid ... someone has to give it a go. over the years i've lost four of my friends in suicide and my wife was on the verve of it for a while too. yep, its a crapy world and when you suffer from depression you feel that you're in a pit so deep you just cant see any light. let's throw them a rope to hep them climb out.
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sir82
we worry about what others would say if other brothers see us hugging a crying woman in the kingdom hall
That reminds me....
The "goofus" elder went into the Kingdom Hall library alone withthe sister when she left the auditorium.
You could hear literal, audible, gasps from the 100 or so elders watching the video.
A few moments later, as the sister was crying, "Goofus" put out his hand and touched the sister's hand.
Again, literal, loud, audible gasps from the audience.
They darkened the room while the video was playing so I couldn't see him, but I have to imagine the CO was quite pleased that the audience grasped the "mistakes" that Elder Goofus was making.
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punkofnice
I was also an elder.
Elders were not encouraged to use discression.
We were taught to go by the skin the 'flock'(TM) book. Simple as!
We said prayers to our imaginary friend in the sky and he was supposed to help. (This is how I know Jehovah(TM) is just a trade marked product of a filthy, disgusting corporation).
It's a bloody dangerous cult FULL STOP!!
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cobaltcupcake
In my experience, if a sister ran crying to the back, another sister would jump out of her chair and follow her to the library to comfort her while the elders' would continue singing the song. And they'd never follow up, not wanting to touch emotional pain with a 10-foot pole.