Hello old friends,
This is my anniversary of a big step forward on this forum. Any JW lurkers please read this and see where I have come from. I am you one year ago.
One year ago I was an elder. I was appointed when the elder arrangement started in 1972. For many years before this I served in a variety of servant responsibilities starting in 1964 when as a 16 year old I was assigned as a bookstudy conductor. I was in the fulltime work for 10 years, two times served at Bethel, seventeen years a presiding overseer in 3 successive congregations, special committee and appeal committee duties, circuit and district assembly responsibilities as well as district convention speaking assignments. While doing all this I was fighting with my inner self, as well as the WT hierarchy. While the local brothers wanted me to remain as an elder and PO, the CO’s and DO’s became leery of using me on the circuit and district organization level. I was always the dissident on CONTROL issues. I was getting discouraged and finding it more difficult to suppress my doubts.
I could not accept the possibility that I had spent 37 years in futility. I knew something was terribly wrong with “God’s channel of communication” but had to believe that God knew this and would eventually fix it. I had waited three decades for this to happen but kept loyal to "God’s organization". I reasoned with myself that every nation or organization God had used eventually got corrupted but God still used it. Remember Joshua and Caleb knew the nation made a wrong decision to not go into the promised land but they stuck with God’s people, ‘right or wrong’ for the next 40 years. Was I not proving myself as faithful as those servants of Jehovah by being loyal these last 30 years? I thought I was doing the right thing.
One year ago today I posted my first topic here entitled “In there no good in the WTBTS??? I was so nervous I didn’t even notice I misspelled ‘IS’ with IN. “In there no good”! What was that? I was surprised no one jumped on my mistake but seemed to genuinely address the issues I raised. But I wanted confront my own doubts, but at that time I still saw a lot of good in the Christian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses. If you feel the same you will probably enjoy the thread at:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=3642&site=3
I want to thank everyone who responded to me on that post. You were all very kind especially considering what I expected. So where am I know? Try this thread: Another Elder is toast
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=6999&site=3
When I started posting here I was determined not to follow the crowd, not be influenced by bad association, but take the neutral ground. Today I still consider myself on neutral ground (who doesn’t), somewhere between the evangelists and atheists on the board. But do I still feel there is something to salvage in the WTBTS? NO!!!! Is that bad? Does that leave me with no hope? No future? NO!!!! I have come beyond the depression of loosing my fantasy of 37 years. Many here have done this. I have been able to separate the disillusionment of the fraud for which I lived from the realities that I believed before falling for the fantasy. The message conveyed in the Christian scriptures of love, faith and hope remain valid. The good news that Paul, Peter John and James preached is still good news, even thought not one of them once mentioned a good news of the kingdom. Like many here, I live by the good news of Christ, the truth that sets us free.
While there are some here that could destroy your faith in the Bible and God you can with caution find here much truth that will help you on this journey. It helped me. If you would like personal help, e-mail me at [email protected]. There are others here who will be glad to help. You JW lurkers have nothing to fear and everything to gain if you stick with the scriptures, your own conscience, and never let someone else tell you what to think and what information you can consider. “The truth will set you free”
Jst2laws
