by everchangingworld 35 Replies latest jw friends
I was my mother and father use to say someone went apostate as if they had an incurable disease.That's why it's taken me 20 years
after i left to inspect this website...i was so totally brainwashed.
20 years fader! Welcome and we are so glad you finally have come around. It's a good place to be, yes?
Designs, did Greg Laurie really show up in Long Beach and Walter Martin too? I think I would enjoy talkiing with old Greg Laurie, he is based out of Riverside California now? I enjoy listening to some of his messages, my mind loves to learn like the rest of you all. The Watchtower Magazines with their "dumbing down process" has caused other friends to seek a more hearty meal, not watered down rice-milk prepared by the Unfaithful Slug. Preachers suchs as Chip Ingram, Ravi Zacharias (Walter Martin's pupil) Greg Laurie, Skip Hychek, Allister Begg are good listening material, they can be brutal on their listeners (not the ear tickling preachers the watchtower claims they are) for not behaving like a Xian.
Of course I was terrified of the "ravenous wolves", "baby eating monsters", "Evil Slave beating up the Good Slave in the ring, like Mohammed Ali vs John Candy(WTS)" very often we had our liberty of thought taken from us.
The old Witnesses warned us of the "old evil apostate who resided up the mountain top", he was the Red Barron of Witnesses, a knotch (Book Bag Shape) marked on his door of each Witness he stumbled :)
I was not afraid of apostates but also avoided them, also they way I thought about apostates and the way it came across from the Watchtower when I was in the borg and hearing people talk about someone going apostate, its almost as if they would talk about the person as if they had a defect, malfuncioned in the brain, to me at the time it came across more as a defectivie machine that went haywire, its so inhumane the way the Watchtower makes a person think, probably one of my most biggest fears was thinking abotu someone going apostate on the platform while giving a talk and then all the elders running up and pulling the person off the stage during a talk.
As a kid, I was. Some used to picket the assemblies and I remember our parents grabbing our hands and scurrying as quickly as possible by them, being told to not make eye contact with them.
I remember there was an anti-JW billboard on a highway on the way to the coliseum where some assemblies were held. The adults would distract us kids with some nonsense, so we wouldn't see it, though I secretly looked for it along the way.
As an adult, I didn't give much thought to them... figured they were just disgruntled and unhappy people, blaming Jehovah for their problems. Then a JW in one hall became an apostate. Eveyone talked shit about him, but every interaction I had with him, before and one time after, I knew him to be a smart, reasonable person. At the time I figured he was "too smart" for his own good, not really thinking that through very well (as JWs are wont to do). It was after I got out that I realized that he had allowed his independant thinking lead him to the real truth.
I remember watching the awful Star Wars "prequels" and strangely identifying with the character of Anakin Skywalker as he slowly turned to the "dark side". I could sort of imagine this somehow happening with me in the future, but I couldn't think how it would come about.
I had the same experience. Except I thought the prequels were pretty good (until I watched Plinkett's reviews not long ago, clearly I was not being objective about it for a long time...). But the forbidden love thing was the same for me. The feeling of being used and manipulated. The feeling that something was being kept from me that I knew I deserved to know... "The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."
I don't think I was afraid of 'apostates'. Someone I grew up knowing became one--she was the daughter of an elder, a firecracker of a pioneer, at least a good ten years or more older than me. Pretty, but somehow not able to find a suitable husband. I was a little curious as to why someone like her who was just plain brilliant would become one. I've yet to find her again, since leaving; last I heard she was in Minnesota.
I think we may have encountered someone who may or may not have at least been exposed to the apostate stuff--she was at the door in the ministry, mentioned something about Rutherford and the Prohibition era. I couldn't help thinking that it was probably true at the time, but of course I said nothing--I was still a true believer, but I knew from reading between the lines in the Proclaimers book that Rutherford was kind of an a--hole, from the way he took over the Society and started centralizing power and all.
There was a time back in college, 10 years ago, that I even found this site and looked at one page on here, briefly. I remembered Googling "Jehovah's Witnesses" and seeing a bunch of "exit counseling" sites turn up. It scared me, but I could still see why exit counseling would be needed--the psychological trauma of leaving would be considerable. But I think I realized at that time that there was a good chance if I did the research I'd find out it was all b.s. and end up wanting to leave, but I was still in school and had no way to move out and escape the wrath of Mom. So...figured I'd go along with it and try to reprogram myself to believe it again.
The only reason "apostates" stuck in my mind was because the Society was stupid enough to keep reminding me they were out there, waiting to trap me with their deceitful, evil words. So when I was finally pissed off enough, I remembered that apostates existed, and that the Society was apparently scared of them, so...I knew it was time to go talk to them and hopefully find the answers that the elders couldn't give me.
"Success!"
--sd-7
Yep, I was afraid. There is huge fear and paranoia, belief of a huge “apostate” conspiracy lurking in the shadows, listening to the friend's comments via signals from wireless mikes. No such thing!
Yep! That was one doorknob I was afraid to jiggle. Imagine my surprise to find the REAL party on the other side of the door! LOL
I never peeked at an "apostate" site until after I was 100% sure from my own research in the WT publications and bible only that the GB was self-proclaimed and that the religion was false.
And... Even after that, I remember my heart pounding hard as I finally brought myself to google the words "jehovah's witnesses".
I can relate to the Star Wars stuff.
I was never afraid of them, I even took their literature when offered it whilst I was in F.S .
But the stuff I read had little effect upon me as it all seemed to be promoting the trinity etc which I had not seen as being taught plainly in the Bible so it did not strike me then as believable, I thought all my beliefs did, and should, come positively from the bible. (How wrong I was ! all JW unique doctrines are not Biblical).
I wanted to engage in converstion with them once outside of the D.C ground, but my wife dissuaded me, mainly because she wanted to get home, bless her, she knew I could talk for hours with such people.
She had come with me to do a R.V on a trinitarian guy when we were both 18or19 , even at that age I sparred with him for about three hours, we agreed to differ in the end, we had to leave 'coz the pub was shutting shortly !
I just wish I had come across an XJW who was a non-theist , he/she could have got through my JW protective bubble and helped me leave much earlier in life, but Serendipity ain't always working when you most need it.
"Fear of Apostates"
In one respect, this is not an irrational fear. A Jehovah's Witness can lose his friends, family, social circle, and even his employment.
This forum is filled with stories of people who have lost their friends and families, simply because they began reading apostate literature, promoting apostate thinking, and associating with apostates.
It's a destructive cult, and this is par for the course.
