by minimus 53 Replies latest jw friends
In the the early 1970's, I used to enjoy going to assemblies, conventions and hear special talks given by Bethel heavies.
In those days, we were believers and we applied ourselves as "ministers" with pride.
Once the "end" was obviously not within our "generation", many of us started losing interest.
We started to think more critically. It took a long time but once you start recognizing the bullsh*t, it's hard to stay in and truly believe at the same time.
I've had long standing misgivings on blood, the generations, the flood and age of man. Certain other things have ade me question the organisation and it's structure, especially the legalistic nature of things. Coming here and related sites as well as reading CoC etc has exposed thing like 607, what they believed in Tazes day etc.
Now I just wish I could stop with consequence but there is no room for movement.
Satan appeared to me one evening, in the form of a pidgeon. The pidgeon said, is it really so that god's org has said that you shall not be depressed if you follow all of the wt org guidelines.
I said, that is true, now fly away satanic pidgeon. Yet, i was muchly depressed, despite my following of all wt rules to the best of my ability. That was the tipping point, when i came to the realization that it wasn't working.
S
What made me question it? Quite honestly, it wasn't a gradual process, although it may have been cumulative frustrationat some of the idiotic things I was being expected to do and believe...and tolerate, like an apparently intelligent so-called friend who was obediently shunning two grandsons who had become disfellowshipped.
For me, it was the sudden illumination of realising that the last straw was the last straw. It came in the form of insistence that Jehovah only valued people who kept very thing neat as a pin. In other words, logically, an untidy, dusty car would qualify you for elimination at Armageddon.
Quite suddenly, as if in a flash, the whole arrant nonsense was before me, and I saw that the whole thing was a flimsy house of cards. It collapsed, and I walked, vowing never again to go into a Kingdom Hall.
I never have, and I never will.
hmmm a satanic pigeon....are u sure it wasn't a snake?
The bible was the first thing I began to question. I couldn't wrap my head around the inconsistencies and scientific implausibilities. Once I allowed myself to question its authenticity, it became a lot easier to think objectively about my JW beliefs.
No snakes in downtown montreal. It was a pidgeon, for sure, that satan sent. A snake wouldn't have worked, anyway, cuz i was 4 floors up. How could a snake survive heavy downtown traffic and slither up there? The satanic pidgeon came to rest on the window ledge there, and the rest is history;)
S
The teaching that all non witness were going to die
I remember very clearly sitting in an assembly at Roberts Stadium in Evansville, IN and having a sudden, unbidden thought spring into my mind - "I don't want to be here". I don't remember what year it was, probably 2004 or 2005, but maybe as late as 08 or 09. I quickly stuffed that thought down and tried not to ever think of it again. In 2011, I was really burned out and just wanted to bury my head in the sand and not deal with any of it. But thanks to the elders' pushy behavior and unbelievable lack of good sense, I finally had enough courage to tell Just ROn the truth when he asked me if I still wanted to be a dub. At that time, I really didn't question the doctrines or beliefs. I just realized that I didn't want to subject myself to the hassles and pressures anymore. It wasn't until I found this place a few days later that I started learning TTATT.
In the end, I guess you could say that it was the cognitive dissonance caused by the difference in how I felt (miserable, depressed, inadequate) and how I was told I should feel (happiest people on earth TM) .
For me, it was being DF'd after 38 years of being "in".
It has become all too obvious that there is a paper thin veneer of love within the organization. It was as if a light switch was flipped and *poof* all my friends and family were gone.
Without steady doses of the kool-aid, a lot of things started making less and less sense in what I thought was unquestionable and absolute truth.
I still have faith in the Bible, it's promises, and I have hope for the future. But, I now see an ugly underbelly of human error to what is supposed to be a spiritualy directed organization.
Whoosier
