I was HAPPY as a JW, how did I get here?

by MC RubberMallet 85 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • MC RubberMallet
    MC RubberMallet

    Some have figured out, but I am a poster that previously used another name. But even then I did not give many details about myself. I barely cracked 100 posts.

    But I have never done a thread to explain why I am here. Lol.

    I was happy as a JW. Extremely happy. I was 3rd generation JW. I grew up in a household were most of my siblings did not 'take to the truth'. Growing up in such a way, I saw the effects of the truth on those that applied it, and how those that didn't apply it were unhappy/unfulfilled. Out of all my siblings, only four of us became Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I remember giving my first talk on the school. I was still wearing huggies pull ups, or just got out of them. All of my family including cousins, aunts, uncles, greats aunts, etc. came to see. Most of them were not in the 'truth' but thought JW's had it, they were just doing their own thing, as they would say. After the meeting, they had presents for me in their vehicles. Lol. They were so proud of me! I was happy also.

    I remember going to visit Patterson as a kid. It was beautiful. And I thought, I should come here. I would be here doing God's work!

    I remember getting baptized. I remember during the prayer before exiting the auditorium, others in my group were balling. I realized the seriousness of my dedication and thought, this was only the beginning. I am giving my life to the Sovereign! I was aglow.

    I remember getting announced as a regular pioneer. There was 4 of us in 1 night. The congregation applauded heartily. Us four went out to eat after the meeting. We were amongst the 'ranks', as pioneers are called. We had big plans, all of us.

    I remember seldom worked territory in the Bible belt several times. It was just like examples from the magazines. People were literally crying at seeing God's name in their own Bible, and learning that they would never die. But if they did, it's ok. Being a part of that brought great joy, because, we all thought we were participating in the will of God.

    In High School, I took courses that put me in position to take several AP tests. I passed, and was accepted to Stevens Institute of Technology, in NJ. I accepted, but with the guidance of the elders and my parents, I was encouraged to prioritize my life. So I later declined. I am STILL kicking myself! But I realize they only were helping me with what they thought would benefit my very life.

    I remember getting appointed an MS. I was young, but I worked for it. But the congregation had so many problems, a year after being a servant, I qualified to be an elder. Lol. Seriously.

    Up until this very day, the single best day of my life was receiving my acceptance to bethel. I temp'ed at BK bethel more than a few times. But it wasn't my goal to be on a waiting list, then be thrown into 2 weeks assignments. So when I received the letter I was chosen to become a permanent part of the Bethel family, I was thrilled!!! That was my goal before even being baptized! The only way to get out of the area I was in, was through a rap career, NBA, or death. One person from my area went to NBA, and that was in the '70s. And he told me to stick with preaching. Lol. Rap career? I couldn't really coincide rapping about killing people while offering a life saving message. Plus, my rhymes were elementary, like Dr. Suess, Lol. Death? Well, no. Just, no.
    But Bethel, I get to leave in order to DO GOD'S WILL! Better than any other career I could have chosen! That was my thinking at the time anyway. Nevertheless, everyone was happy for me. I was the FIRST in my congregation and 3 generations of JW family to get to serve at Bethel. A lot of people were proud of me, and I was too! I remember the feelings... That was the pinnacle of everything I've ever worked for and turned down!

    Bethel was great! It had its challenges and people I didn't care much for, but that's anywhere. I loved the atmosphere, food, area, my assignment, and wierdly, the strict way of life. It was awesome.

    I remember getting appointed an elder. I was young also. But this hall I was in had 21 elders at a brief point. So I had a ways to go before I was given anything real. I just had to watch and learn. My love for friends and wanting to be a haven for them is what made me remain on the body despite the prevalence of negative personalities.

    Just a few examples that sum up my experience as to why I was happy calling myself one of Jehovah's Witnesses:

    1) Soon after I made it to Bethel, this very nice couple in my hall purchased me a car! Didn't know me that well, but knew of a nice car being sold (a really nice one), and gave me cash for car, tax, titles, insurance, etc. It was so generous that I used my tax return I got that year to pay them back, because I felt it was too much. They didn't even want it. So I dropped it into their car window leaving the KH one day. My entire time at Bethel, I always made sure they had whatever they needed. The husband was showing signs of dementia, and by time I left Bethel, he barely remembered me. That was rough.. Anyway that was the love I was shown. That was only one of many.

    2) After being in Bethel a few years, my overseer told me the brothers really wanted to use me. He said I was to receive training in a few months for a very different assignment (BIF) to beef up an adjacent department in another branch. I told him it would be best if I left Bethel until I was to receive training. He encouraged me to stay, but I thought I should go. I asked him if I could get trained in a trade to support me until my return (talking like Jesus). He told me training was only for use in God's house, not to go out and make money. So I leveled respectfully, but honestly with him. I told him I had opportunities to get trained/degreed in a few areas. But I turned them down to come here and be used by Jehovah. So now that I gave everything up, why doesn't Jehovah have my back? He actually agreed, said he never thought about it like that, and he'll see what he can do. A few days later, I got the invitation in my room to train in BK. He was such a sincere guy! I realized that wasn't the norm, so truly appreciated it. All it took was a little reasoning.

    3) I had a roommate who got disfellowshipped out of Bethel. Everyone was treating me like he died. Which, in JW sense, he did. I got cards, candy, phone messages, invited out more, encouraged. Lol. I did think it was a tad ridiculous, but it demonstrated the love of everyone around me. Unfortunately, it showed the inhumane side that witnesses are "scripturally" taught to treat such ones.

    4) One thing Bethelites do is travel a lot. We had no money, but friends all over the country will pay for food, flights, gifts, etc just to get you out to their area. I felt like Gehazi. Lol. And the friends would stay elsewhere while they gave us their house, car, etc. They barely knew our names! And to be honest, their trust was well placed because in no group I traveled with would any have even thought of stealing or being dishonest in any way. The level of mutual trust and love was completely foreign to me.

    5) There is actually an even bigger event that showed me the love of the friends, but it would most certainly sell my identity. But if ever I get exposed, please call me on this so I can relate it! Lol.

    I left Bethel and went to a hall that needed help, until I got my call to go back.
    Friends were great, I actually enjoyed service in the territory, job was working out, life was good.

    Running out. 2BContinued.....

  • perfect1
    perfect1

    1. HOW MANY SIBLINGS DO YOU HAVE!!!

    2. If everything is so rosy, why are you here

  • free @ last
    free @ last

    So why did you leave? Assuming that you did...

  • MC RubberMallet
    MC RubberMallet

    I am running out right now. I will finish it later.... but everything was "rosy". Especially in ignorance.

    8 siblings.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    I also thought I was very happy as a JW. I have many stories of support and extraordinary love. I wasn't unhappy when I left, but just stumbled on some info that made me question everything. Looking back, I think I convinced myself that I was happier than I was. Once the weight was lifted I realized how heavy it had become. But you know, boil a frog slowly, and they don't sense the temperature change. . .

    Yet I can't deny there were warm and wonderful times and a strong sense of community. I fully understand the price for that family was too high, but when you don't know it, it seems fine.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I get the feeling that GB members might be doing what they do for similar reasons. I know a lot of Dubs that are treated like princes & princesses with welcome mats laid out for them wherever they go. It's a hell of an incentive to blank out doubts, or be dishonest with yourself.

  • elderelite
    elderelite

    Im looking forward to hearing more! Like you i was at one point happy, hell even when i first found this site i was still happy. But i digress . I shall eargly await the next installment!

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Looking forward to the next chapter.

    Also had lots of very good times as a JW. The appeal of community is strong.

    om

  • rather be in hades
  • cobaltcupcake
    cobaltcupcake

    Jeepers! Don't leave us hanging like this! What happened?

    http:scottleblog.wordpress.com

    The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses

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