How does one go about dating after leaving the WT?
by Left in the Cold 36 Replies latest social relationships
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Left in the Cold
If I may bore you with just a bit of background: I am in my mid-thirties, never was good a being a JW, divorced twice, disfellowshipped, and single. Great combination, right? But I have only dated other JW's in the past, and I find it difficult to date men with no JW background. Does anyone know of a place to meet others such as myself? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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Diest
Realize that you wont know all the rules and that there is a learning curve. Most people start of datting in their mid teens and dont get married untill 10 years later. Id start with online dating. Go out to dinner or just coffee and go from there. At some point it is helpful to tell the other person that you are not used to doing this because you left a high control group. People admire people who overcome adversity, and they are more likely to cut you some slack if they know where you are coming from.
Good Luck, it wont be easy at first, but dont dispair.
Edit: I posted this with only your blank post. After two marriages you know about relationships. What do you find so hard about dating non JW men?
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Witness My Fury
If you're hot send me a PM ...LOL
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NeverKnew
Awww.... Out of curiousity, what elements make it hard to date men with no JW background?
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MC RubberMallet
I don't believe JW drivel, but the thinking still permeates me in important decisions. I see woman I like, and the attraction is reciprocated.
But then, I would start thinking "How do I know she has morals? Will she cheat on me? At least (worst case scenario) a witness women won't play me because she doesn't want to hurt Jehovah. They think Jehovah's looking at them and would repay them if they acted out of line, but what about this woman? What's to stop her? Am I ready for a non-JW relationship in my own mind?" Sadly, I certainly realize the fallacies of my thinking. But I can't seem to go further with interest. It's the fear... I hate it and want to rid myself of it. But I can't seem to shake it. Maybe in time.
I guess I'm in a similar mindset, not knowing how to move forward...
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NeverKnew
When you ask yourselves...
Do I want to be with someone who MAY have a conditionally love for me and who MAY be with me mostly because I fit an organization's profile?
OR
Do I want to take a chance to love and grow with someone who understands and respects unconditional love and will love and accept me regardless of my affiliations with a particular group or organization?
What responses do you come up with?
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moshe
I hear there is a website for singles called POF.com- Hmm, plentyoffaders.com
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MC RubberMallet
Never Knew - We know what makes sense logically, but the courage to carry it out is another issue. Maybe it's just me. lol.
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Branded Rebel
I hear you honey! It's really hard when JW life is all you've ever known. I agree with the online dating thing. It is a good place to start. Wishing you all the best of luck. I'm in your situation and still looking.