There were two reasons I wasted five years seeking reinstatement, 00DAD—and they were wasted years. The elders had convinced me that I was a gross, spiritually sick, helpless individual who desperately needed their help. After all, since I was a gay man, I obviously had no idea of what being “normal” really was and if I accepted their help they would lead me out of darkness. It took me three years to get past those lies and grasp the truth: that I had nothing to be ashamed of. By the way, if I repeated some of the questions I was asked by these guys, your hair would fall out.
The second reason was I wanted to regain access to my friends in the organization. I was fortunate that I had many friends outside the congregation and they were the ones who, by direct and indirect means, showed me that those shunning me, regardless of the reasons they had, weren’t being real friends. It took an additional two years to realize that. Certainly the elders weren’t as they did everything they could to block my return. And while I don’t doubt that some of those who shunned me did so because they thought it was the right thing to do, that didn’t make it so.
Taking hold of those two reasons enabled me to break free and not look back. That is why I wrote what I did to Meadows13. These elders have no real interest in her. They do not love her. That is evident from the questions they have asked which she has shared with us. Loss of family is a serious step that should not be taken lightly; but if it comes down to a choice between them and you, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure which is the wiser one.
Quendi