by Meadow36 70 Replies latest jw friends
jookbeard - yes correct, i wasnt sure if she was DF or Reproved,
If she is DF then she should say how much she would like to comment again and become a part of jehovahs family.
third time to get reinstated is tough, they make you suffer to see your resolve...
cheers
Christiandom opens up their doors to help people who suffer from alcolholism by hosting AA meetings free of charge.
JW's give you the boot from their ever so clean holy temple to suffer alone without support.
Wasn't there someone in Jesus day who acted that way too?
Best of luck to you Meadow.
I know you’re doing all this for your family, Meadow36, but I have to wonder is it worth it? I don’t think any relationship is worth that kind of abuse, I really don’t. Sure, your family is “only following orders” if they shun you, but if they won’t help you in a time of great emotional and mental stress, then when will they?
As for the elders, it’s as 00DAD said. “They shoot their wounded.” Not only that, but they take delight and pleasure in doing so. They are exercising power over you and the only greater pleasure they could possibly have is an orgasm. Not every elder is that way. I knew some that were real shepherds, but many are the proverbial wolves in sheep’s covering.
It took me five years of fruitless and frustrating talk with my judicial committee to finally realize that reinstatement was not worth it. When I finally walked away, my mental and physical health immediately improved. I know you love your family, but it seems to me that you’re forgetting to love someone else just as important—you. This entire episode has to be what is best for you and nobody else. It won’t do you or anybody else any good if reinstatement comes at the cost of your soul.
Jesus said, “For what benefit will it be to a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” The more I hear about your situation, the more I believe the price they want is too high. Walk away while you still can, because that is better than living on your knees. For that is what you’ll be doing even if reinstatement is eventually granted.
Quendi
I love my family with all my heart, mind and soul. But I could never eat their shit again for any reason. They are the real persecutors of good people.
Quendi - I hear you and I think you have a valid point. But there is another perspective. If you choose to leave after being reinstated, then it is at least your choice. Yes, it's horrible to subject youirself to the process, and I can't imagine how you did it for 5 years. In my experience I lost my family and friends anyway by fading, but at least they do not feel forced to shun me by decree. It meant a lot to me to be able to have a relationship again with my mother for the short time before she died, something I would not have been able to do had I not gone through the reinstatement process. So I do understand why Meadow (and Loading) are putting themselves through this.
I do second your concern for doing "what is best for you" though. Many people self-medicate with alcohol, and sobriety can be a challenge when you do not love yourself, in other words, have possession of your soul. Dealing with elders and living their reality can very quickly tear down your sense of self, so I strongly encourage you, Meadow, to take care of yourself first and foremost in every way you can.
Isn't it amazing how different BOEs handle alcoholism.
My mother was a practicing alcoholic for 20 years and not a word from the BOE. She finally went to AA and some elders complained. She didn't listen and was in recovery for 30 years no thanks and no help from "God's people."
I've known elders that were practicing alcoholics and not a thing was done until one had his name plastered all over the media because of his accident.
One was even re-appointed an elder and he has been convicted of 2 DUIs since.
It might help to go to another congregation where the BOE is more forgiving although the first JC has to agree.
I saw a pedophile reinstated after 8 months but a sister not until 8 years later after leaving her husband.
Sorry for coming to only one conclusion about seeking reinstatement 3 times. The sister above tried 8 times before she was let back in and now her children are all df'd and she has to be careful contacting them.
Quendi: ... the only greater pleasure they could possibly have is an orgasm.
That explains it, they're not getting any so the only way they can "get off" is to abuse someone else.
I finally understand!!!
It is better to die on one's feet than to live on one's knees. But this dichotomy ignores the possibility of living on one's feet.
mamochan13: If you choose to leave after being reinstated, then it is at least your choice.
This is an important point. Although the results are often the same, the emotional effects of being DF'd are different than that of someone fading. And yet some have successfully faded without being shunned. Either way, when you leave it's your choice and you're in control. That's empowering, which is the exact opposite of the absurd amount of control that the WTBTS tries to exert over an individual.
Still, I would think that if someone tries to do what Meadow and Loading are attempting, they need to set a limit of somekind. I was shocked Quendi when you said you tried for five years to reason with a Judicial Committee. That proves without question just how unreasonable these men can be.
Stepping back for a moment for some perspective, it's all just so sad and so unnecessary. So many lives are damaged, so many people hurt, so many relationships ruined--often for life--because of the unkind, unloving, un-scriptural and most of all un-Christian rules of this organization.
What a waste!
00DAD
MAISHA is all wrong.
I can appreciate your point as well, mamochan13. We should do everything we can to maintain family ties. We do well to remember that our families are sometimes as much the victim of these vicious proceedings as we are. I just want Meadows36 to remember that no matter what the elders or the organization say, her first priority must be to help herself.
Quendi
