I wrote: Say you've given it a lot of thought and you're like the Prodigal Son but are confused why they aren't like the father! - Luke 15:11 - 32
To which DOC responded: I would not suggest making such a negative comparison. They would say your attitude about them (Jehovah's spirit directed servants) is not indicative of true repentance.
First let me say that I completely understand DOC's response. It is possible, maybe even likely, that they would take you saying what I suggested as evidence of a lack of repentance (although it's cosmically ironic that quoting the Bible to an elder can be viewed as a sign of having a bad attitude, that is the reality among JW elders).
Let me explain the reason I suggested this approach in the first place. You mentioned that this will be your third request for reinstatement and that they wanted you to think about which Bible character you are most like.
This account clearly fits. I should have said that I am suggesting that you play it this way with the elders, but only if they refuse your request again for a third time:
- I have done and am continuing to do everything I can to make things right and to prove my repentance to you. I read the same Bible you do. I read the same WT articles you do. You asked me to think of a Bible character that I most identify with and the account of the Prodigal Son just fit so perfectly. That is me.
- What I don't understand is why, since--like him--I have "come to my senses", repented and come back just like the PS in the Bible account, you don't welcome me back like the Father? In the account it says, " While he was yet a long way off, his father caught sight of him and was moved with pity, and he ran and fell upon his neck and tenderly kissed him ".
- Why aren't you welcoming me back? I have done everything I need to do and everything you have asked?
It's important you act contrite, but confused by their refusal to grant your request for reinstatment.
On possible problem for the elders and you could be the length of time since you were disfellowshipped. If you said how long ago you were DF'd I missed it. But I did notice you said you've been sober 4 months. Congratulations by the way!
However, the elders may not feel this is long enough. The reality is that in many ways the elders are making it up as they go along. The WTBTS gives no clear guidelines or directions on the lenght of time that can/should pass before a person can be reinstated. It only says that the person should be repentant, have discontinued the wrong conduct and demonstrate "acts that befit repentance."
Although they would deny it, many elders rely on their feelings and/or personal opinions when it comes to rendering judgement in a Judicial Hearing. They'd like to think Holy Spirit is directing them, but we know better.
If they don't think that 4 months or whatever is long enough, it really doesn't matter if you've quit drinking and are genuinely repentant. They've got to make up something for you to do to bide time while the imaginary clock of justice that only exists in the collective mind of the Judicial Committee clicks off an undefined amount of time. Hence the " figure out which person from the bible you are most like " time-killing activity.
If it hasn't been long enough for them, nothing you say or do can change their mind. You may however be able to nudge them back into line with a ploy such as I suggested if played well. You say you're a good actress. Get acting!
You might also be able to get them to commit to something tangible. If they deny you again and you ask "What else do I need to do?" they'll probably reply "Keep doing what you're doing!"
That's when you pull the Father role from the Prodigal Son account on them. You have done what you're supposed to do and you'll continue to keep doing it. Why aren't they fulfilling their role? If it's a matter of more time needs to pass, how long? What scripture is this base on? What WT article? There's nothing about "more time" in the Prodigal Son account.
I don't think it'd be hard to act genuinely frustrated, confused and distraught by a third refusal of your request.
In the end though, realize that these are NOT God's people. God has left the building. You are playing a game pretending to play by their rules. Their rules are arbitrary and capricious. The elders are a curious mixture of oft well-intentioned, yet seriously misguided men that are conflicted by their own control-freakery while at the same time being manipulated by WTBTS Policies, Rules and Regulations.
Don't give up. Be courageous. Keep sober. Keep your self focused on what it is you want to accomplish and don't get side-tracked into unnecessary arguments or discussions with the elders. They are NOT your friends. Nevertheless, they are for the moment gatekeepers to your family.
Best wishes,
00DAD
