by Abaddon 35 Replies latest social relationships
Oh and I love the serial monogamy!
Another fact, if in their lifetime, women who have greater than 3 sexual partners, either singularly or together, (I know that will get you boys going! :-)) are at greater risk for cervical cancer! Get your pap smears done regularly!
j2bf
I think when a "child" is old enough to have sex...it is a STRONG indicator it's time to move out. Really. If they're not "ready" to play house on their own dime...they probably shouldn't at mommy and daddy's. I think this is natures way of letting kids AND parents know when it's time for the kids to leave the nest, so to speak.
Many kids seem to think they have the right to have sex in their parents home. My 16 year old niece wasn't pleased when I told her she couldn't bring her boyfriend up for a visit last summer. She canceled the visit of course.
I agree with KistByQpid and think they should be on thier own when they want to play house.
Never Squat With Yer Spurs On
Thanks LB,
My opinion has a lot to do with my dad (he's been gone now 8 years, I miss him soooo much) I wouldn't say I "feared" him, rather, I had "healthy respect" for him. I didn't always like what he said...good grief, I remember him saying things like, "If you want to play grab @ss, do it somewhere else" Such sophistication!
As I got older, I truely appreciated his special kind of "wisdom" though. I saw our neighbors allow their 17 year old, to have his girlfriends sleep over. Get this...he didn't move out till he was almost 32 years old! He's not much younger than I am! Yet, he never even went to college, heck he hardly ever worked...but he sure did "entertain" and why not? What a deal!
TR! I have a feeling your kids are doing things under your nose you would hate to find out about...it's just comes with the territory. All teenagers do.
The fact that you ban them from sleeping with the opposite sex is not going to make them do it any less. In fact, it'll probably just keep their minds focused on the problem more than ever!!!
I find that a reasonable borderline approach works best. Would you rather have your daughter lose her virginity in the back seat of a car in a slum God knows where, or in the safety of your own home?
The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age
Kist,
I totally agree about the "playing house" idea. A child is not mature enough to make adult decisions. Choosing to have sex with someone is an adult decision. And having a sexual relationship is not just physical either, it brings on a whole range of emotions that I don't think a child is ready to handle.
A friend of mine told her daughter that she was not allowed to date until she was 16. When her aunt asked her how she felt about that she told her that it actually took a lot of pressure off her because she didn't have to start worrying about all of that added "stuff" that comes with dating. She could just focus on being a teenager with her friends and activities and schoolwork.
And I would hope that i have raised my daughter to respect herself enough that just because I won't let her have sex in my home that she would have sex in a slum somewhere. But even if she does, I'm not going to change my rules for fear of what she might do. I have a friend who did that and her daughter walked all over her. And still ended up pregnant and not married.
Shimmer
Maybe being oneself is alway an acquired taste.-----PATRICIA HAMPL
well, i don't have kids yet so i know i won't have to deal with this issue for a long time. but i was a sexually active teen so i wanted to comment. i knew because of my 'rents being jws that my b/f could never spend the night at our house. so i would spend nights at his house with his mom and stepdad just downstairs. this was when i was 17 and a senior in highschool. my b/f and i had a serious relationship, his family treated me like one of their own (i was being shunned by some of my family members, freshly da'd.) i think at 17 i was old enough for sex. i got myself on the pill because i knew i couldn't talk to my mom about it. thank god for teen clinics!!!
anyways, that's how it worked for me :)
Shimmer,
Yeah, I never understood the rationale, "Well, if they are going to do _______(fill in the blank) they might as well do it at home, where it's safe." If parents want to beieve that, it's their business BUT I don't get it. Unless parents want to "supervise" what's going on in the bedroom...how exactly is it safe? I'm certain a fair number of STD's and pregnancies occur in the safety of home.
Agreed...I think one of the dangers in dating too young, is the risk of being faced with very adult situations and consequences. We want our kids to "just say no" but many parents have a problem with "just saying no" to their kids.
Well you have a good point there Kist.
What I really meant was not safety, but closer supervision. Although I suppose this sort of thing needs to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
If I was in that situation, I would use the bf/gf sleeping over thing as a reward for my kid doing something good, like getting excellent grades. This way they associate sex not just with raging hormones, but with good achievements which take hard work to accomplish. I feel that this is a good structure to build on, but I also feel that it wouldn't be allowed to happen too often. You've gotta keep it special, and when young teenagers sleep together a LOT, the whole act just becomes sleazy.
Plus, that way I being a lazy father would force my horny teenage boys to get A+'s before they could get laid!
The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age
2SYN
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The fact that you ban them from sleeping with the opposite sex is not going to make them do it any less. In fact, it'll probably just keep their minds focused on the problem more than ever!!!
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That is absolutely correct. I can't imagine this day and age that more people don't realize that and especially when young kids numbering in the thoiusands have been and are in more trouble due to parents being in denial of what the teens are doing. Just about every couple of week's or so I see in the news and become more and more sickened by whats happening with young adults. So afraid of what people will think or do to them if they find out they are pregnant and resort to back alley abortions and even manage to carry the baby full term and throw it in the GARBAGE like trash. There is a cemetary dedicated to giving babies that have been disgarded and killed a decent buirral. It's not even a solution but the more and more it fills up with unwanted discarded children just maybe some day soon hopefully society will get it through there heads THIS AIN'T 1965 ANYMORE and to try and keep teens in the same mind set as they were when our parents were teens is not helping them.
I've done an exceptional job raising mine. I know that and many other people know that too and have shared there opnion with me telling me often how empressed they are that he doesn't crumble under peer presure and has a very respectful attitude with all adults he is in contact with.
I like how as soon as the opertunity was available I was emediately jumped on and accused of not knowing anything about parenting either that or the suggestion was that I am too lazy to be a parent. What ever the case, it doesn't really matter. What does matter though is having a sound realistic relationship with my kids how ever old they are that isn't based on fear, but trust. And that does exist. I wouldn't trade that for someone elses opinion.
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TR TR TR, oh my oh my.
My kids are busy being PARENTED,being PARENTED,being PARENTED,being PARENTED,
busy with school activities, busy with after school activities. My wife and I spend a great deal of time with our kids. They don't have time to get involved with the teen dating bullshit.
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You should see all the awards my unparented son has that completely cover an entire WALL. Medals. Trophys.
Not to mention the Volunteere work he quite often does.
But thanks for you positive opinion anyway.
I'm a single mom raising , Well who has raised two sons in a crappy place over run with gang bangers ang disrespectful straight a+ students alike. I have no problem patting myself on the back. That doesn't mean I am not allowed to question and examine my choices and weigh the good with the bad and hope I make the right choice's. So far So good.
plmkrzy
I did not proof read this so sorry if it's messed a bit.
"I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memorystyx
Some happy,some sad"
