by tornapart 52 Replies latest jw experiences
Fear works short-term, but it's only because of the instinct of self-preservation. Fear does not motivate from the heart.
This is what woke up my best friend. She left long before I did. She said she realized that the only reason she remained in the org. was fear. She said that's no way to live...and left...and never looked back.
Coffee
coffee - 1972, Lynn ... I was there, wonder if that was yr circuit. :D
Talesin,
Lynn wasn't in our circuit. I grew up in the Hyde Park cong. By 1972 I was married and living on Martha's Vineyard.
Coffee
I remember sitting in the principals office because I couldnt salute the flag or go to various assemblies
and activities that were deemed pagan.
I remember missing many interesting tv shows because I had to go to meetings.
I remember not doing good in school, because I was always going to meetings.
I remember my mother not allowing my father to celebrate Christmass because we were allways going to the meetings.
I remember not being able to eat Mars bars, Three muskateers, milkyways because they contained lethicin which was alledgedly
made out of blood. And I remember sneaking out of the house from time to time as a 7,8,9, 10 year old and buying them
and eating them before I got home.
coffeee - tks! :)
Heating to wear skirts and dresses to the meetings and being embarrassed if someone from school saw me dressed like that.
When I was in grade school (I think it was 3rd or 4th grade) I had a little classmate named James. James was small but he had the kind of personality that would light up any room and he was terribly funny (think Webster or Gary Coleman times ten) and very sweet. He was also being raised as a jw. We didnt go to the same hall but we were in the same circuit so when we weren't in the same school I saw him at least there times a year at the CC and the DC. When I was about 11 or 12 James told me that he had always had a crush on me and wrote me numerous love letters. I reciprocated for a while but being the fickle preteen that I was I threw him over for the neighborhood Romeo down the block (not a jw). James was devastated. I regret hurting his feelings.
The last time I saw James I think I was 19, it was at a CC. I watched him closely but the bubbly James I knew was gone. He had changed into a dull eyed quiet man. All the spark appeared to have been whipped out of him. I don't think I had anything to do with it but I wonder if James would have come out different without the yoke of the bOrg on his back.
- It was ok for "wordly" children to come to my home, but I couldn't go anywhere with them
- Schoolmates jeering me when they see me on weekends all dressed up for FS...I could hear the cartoon/TV on while at the door
- Couldn't eat anything from classmates from their birthday celebrations....the food was "sacrificed to Satan"
- Tired, having lots of homework and still had to go meetings...had to come home from meetings and get school work done...thus always been exhausted
- Trying to be a "good" JW child because parents liked to brag & compare kids
- Giving up my room for the C/O when they came into town...had to sleep on the sofa.
...these were horrible days for me...I'm grateful for this website now that I know better.
All of the above. Most of all, feeling lonely. There were two girls that were in my cong one or two yrs older than me. I was excluded from their friendship. Just being alone and not able to go anywhere with anyone. As a kid youre not included in the adult world and the two I could have been friends with didn't want to so just plain excluded in the borg and out. Just nowhere that I could "be". When my husband was "outed" it was a big secret the elders didn't want his reputation ruined. I'm pretty outgoing and friendly. They all assumed it was something I did. I divorced him. He was embraced I wasn't. He is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay OUT now. don't know if he has been disfellowshipped. I wonder if any of them think back about how unfair and mean spirited they were. Probably not. What is weird is that I know they are shi.heads but I still have affection for them. What is that? Stockholm syndrome. Great life pattern....I love you....you exclude me. Shitheads. I wouldn't treat an animal like that.
I remember those awful, awful, awful, dinners with the circuit overseers and their wives at our house. What a waste of an evening.
