Worst Day of my life

by BU2B 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Aware!
    Aware!

    I've been wanting to try something and hope it helps you. First of all, apologize to your wife (even though you're not at fault). Secondly, calmly ask her if she knows you love her. Once she calms down a little ask her if she thinks you're an idiot (don't get mad if she says yes). Then tell her that you wouldn't be standing up for something risking all in the process (your wife and daughter) if you didn't strongly believe in it. Whether your marriage was conditional or not, tell her that you really want to make it work. If you happen to be wrong, then she must know that you know the consequences of being wrong (losing everlasting life in paradise). Now, why would you do something so ludicrous and be willing to lose everything if you weren't 100% sure? Oh, and something that is probably not stressed enough on this forum is that you should never talk about doctrine with cult members.

  • diamondiiz
    diamondiiz

    Sorry to hear this. You have to start thinking of a plan to salvage relationship, with or without her but also with the rest of the family as this will spread quick and you will be hearing from everyone rather quickly, and probably from elders in regards to your faith as well.

    Hopefully things will calm down but from what you vaguely described, you have to watch your ass so she doesn't try to take you for everything you worked hard for. Damn cult will show no mercy so either make shit up to cover you "ourburst" to buy more time to figure out how to proceed. If you need to, claim depression...

    TATT is dangerous when presented to a family member and whenever anyone proceeds with this sort of information they have to be willing to lose it all - that's why you either wait when the other parties are more open to reality or when you have a backup plan to leave if things totaly fall apart. Sorry, I wish I could give you better advise but you may have a real rough future if you don't calm the wife quickly and think of a plan for the future with or possibly without her. Her cult persona shows conditional love but that side of her may go away but again it may not.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Her reaction is what I would call normal, based upon what I've read here for more than four years.

    She has been trained from infancy on how to react when Satan attacks her family, which is how she sees it.

    Give her some time, and unless you want to be DF'd, don't say another word to anyone, and be prepared to lie.

  • Aware!
    Aware!

    Remember that there has to be two witnesses. Lie, lie, lie! All is fair in love and war.

  • panhandlegirl
    panhandlegirl

    Wow! I know how she feels. When my husband stoppeed believeing, I thought he was terrible and was going to get us killed by Jehovah. I also think

    tootired2 care gave some good advise. Try to keep your love for her separate from your nonbelief in the organizaiton. Don't apologize for what you believe.

    Be calm and show her you still love her even though you don't believe what the org teaches. Hope things work out for you.

  • puffthedragon
    puffthedragon

    So sorry its going this way for you. Good luck, things might get tough, we are here for you.

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    BU2B Sounds like you need to now show compassion and empathy for your wifes deeply ingrained mental indoctrination by the WT organization.

    The thing that woke myself up many years ago about the WTS. is how can this organization proclaim its being solely used as God's channel for all

    mankind, when set established truths fall apart and are changed on a continuing basis, if they weren't bible truths in the first place ???

    This is where the endevered commercialization aspect of the WTS. comes into play in reflection.

    The answer of course in all logical and practical sense is that this organization like so many others is made by men for men,

    kind of a commercialized false prophet that exploits people to become WTS. own literature distributors.

    Be a supporting member of this established agenda or get lost is the usual mantra from organizations like this.

    Religions like this lure people toward them usual exploit and manipulate them while they are there but if you show

    any kind of disagreement toward the hierarchal leaders and what they are doing or saying they usually kick you quickly

    to the curb and place a black mark as being an evil opponent.

    This is religion at its finest, disconcertingly man made .............. unfortunately

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    This isn't the end of the world. Just tell her you intend to contnue being a good husband and father and that you love her. Then order Steven Hassan's books about how to reach a cult member's true personality and work your way from there. The same goes for your parents. And by the way, stop worrying about their heartbreak. Your mom and dad had their chance to choose how to live their lives, and you have that right too.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    It seems that once someone is looking at things from a different perspective than they were raised with that the guilt and fear content of the meetings will do the rest of the work for you in some cases.

    This was the case for my wife. Once something put a chink in the armor, it began to fail everywhere. She now picks up on double-speak and gross misapplications in the publications that I miss. She is a smart cookie, but was trained to accept the WTS doctrine hook-line-and-sinker. But after the first revelation about TTATT, progress has moved more rapidly.

    LWT says: unless you want to be DF'd, don't say another word to anyone, and be prepared to lie.

    YES! LIE! LIE! LIE! Someone with the potential to do such harm to you and your family does NOT deserve anything from you! NOT even the truth.

    Doc

  • loosie
    loosie

    I'm so sorry ((hugs))

    There is hope though. My hubby got me out because of this website. It took me some time because I was a die hard JW and I just thought my husband was bitter because he was df'd. But I later saw that he and this website were correct. after some time she may come around.

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