just need encouraging words... elders came over and breifly stopped by to encourage me back to hall

by Butterflyleia85 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Butterflyleia85

    Well I was kinda cut of gaurd when I saw them. It was the two elders from the local congregation. They said they just wanted to come over for encouragement to come back to the meetingsm one of the elders I knew me sence I was a baby and saw my son in my arms and asked how old he was. I invited them in because of my dog. They said well we understand your husbaands not supportive. I said well he don't mind me going back and isn't against me going, I just done some research to see if this is what I truly wanted and was a found i didn't like. ( I was quite nerves at this point I didn't want to say something wrong or to much just enough that they know I wasn't interested for mostly the right reason not just cause of the hurt ) I told them that I wasn't interested in going back. The elder said well you know there are people, prests, popes, etc and... I cut him off and said I know it's bout the doctrines. He said right... Then my husband came down stairs from work (he works at home some days) and said May I help you. In a sturn voice. I said this is (first name for the elder that knew me sence birth) and (his wife's name, she wasn't even there)! Ha I was so nervious I keep going "there elders.. Your an elder right? .. The elders from ** hall" Gee I sounded retarted. The elders explained their visit to my husband turned to me and said well you have my number to reach me and left. Ok well I miss them. But I'm shaking all over because it brings back such depressing memories of my DFment. I hate being labeled it's like the worse feeling ever! I felt pride in what I know so that part calms my consciences and dignity... I know God is with me and has provided a family and support... But the pain it's still there. The family and friends aren't easily forgotten their still in my heart and it hurts so bad!!!! :,( I'm pregnant with number two... Maybe why I'm so emotional. I looked up this crap why..... elders visit disfellowshipped: w96 11/1 14, 16; w93 7/15 27; w91 4/15 21-23; w91 8/15 28 encouragement for disfellowshipped to return: jr 145; w06 9/1 21; w06 11/15 30; w98 10/1 8-18

  • BluesBrother

    I cut him off and said I know it's bout the doctrines. He said right..

    It sounds as if you did really well Butterfly, These people, especially the ones we have known all our lives, really do have an intimidating presence. We may have thought out all the things we want to say but when they are there, 2 of them, it is hard to put into words. But you did it. Well done!

    If you are d/d'd they will probably conclude that you are "not ready to return" and leave you alone now. Do not feel bad about being D/f'd . It is only a bad thing in the eyes of the deluded ones....

    Take care.

  • NewChapter

    I would be shaking all over too. I resent that they are still able to trigger an emotional response in me. You did well!

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Sorry you had to deal with that. . . Realize that your shaking has nothing to do with being emotional or pregnant - you were shaking because you were abused by this religion and that is the body's natural response to abuse.

    Can't tell you what to do, but if I were disfellowshipped and elders tried to visit me, I would tell them to leave and never visit me again and that if they tried I would take legal action. There's no reason you need that manipulative shit in your life anymore. . .

  • isaacaustin


    They are victims as well. Beleive it or not, you are one of the lucky ones to know the truth about 'the truth'.

  • cofty

    You did fine Butterfly. The shaking is just adrenaline - its the "fight or flight" response. Since it would be a bit harsh to hit them but socially awkward to run away you are left feeling jumpy.

    Remember you owe them nothing and they have no authority you don't give them.

    Congratualtions on expecting your second child, you have far more important things in your life than their sad cult.

  • LostGeneration

    Hey just wanted to say you did fine! You owe them nothing in reality, so don't feel like its your job to tell them off if they come by. If they wanted to be free, there is plenty of information out there for them to consider.

    The DFing doctrine is becoming their real downfall. In the past, they could control the information, and hold your family and friends as hostages. While they still can control the people you love to some extent, they can't control information any more. Stand up people like you learn the real truth about their bullshit doctrines and don't come groveling back.

    Hang in there!


    JW Elders come for a Visit

    We would like you to come back to the Kingdom Hall..

    So we can Eat your Brain..

    ............................. ...OUTLAW

  • slimboyfat

    I just had what must be the stupidest visit from the Circuit Overseer I have ever experienced. He told me I have candida. That's going to get me back to the Kingdom Hall, I don't think so!

    He told me I have candida...SBF

    I have to ask..WTF is that?..LOL!!

    ............................. ...OUTLAW

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