Do you believe in Love?

by freeflyingfaerie 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • caliber

    I certainly believe in love, but I’ve come to appreciate it in a new way since I left the organization. For me, the wonder was that anyone could love me, that anyone would find me desirable, attractive or a person of real quality. I found it difficult to love myself, so I couldn’t believe that anyone outside my immediate family could or would ever do so or had in the past. How wrong I was!

    Realizing this has made me better at both giving and receiving love now. I don’t think this would have been possible had I remained in the organization.

    .......though we may suffer moments of despair indeed the key is to love who you are first

    Reflections on love

    A glass of red wine spent
    Recalling life's event
    mourning not waking up
    next to my beloved
    To warm my hopeful spirit
    Yet now numbed to the cold
    for life must go on
    to thus bury myself
    In solitude
    For we have walked different paths
    And have known different fears.
    And that which now brings you laughter
    Might well bring me many tears.

    I need to explore what sustains me
    from the inside
    when all else falls away.
    I want to know if I can be alone
    with myself
    and if I truly like the company I keep
    in these empty moments
    in this unchosen solitude

    Yet solitude rebuilds for but a moment..
    with wishings for loves eternity

    ~~~~ Caliber

  • 3rdgen

    Absolutely! Years ago many studies were done with baby monkeys who were taken away from their mothers and kept alive in isolation. Even though they were given plenty of nourishment and warmth, they failed to grow and thrive. The research showed that the mothers touch, attention, affection, were necessary for proper growth and development.

    Humans need a mothers love and care to thrive as well. From the moment we enter this world we need to RECEIVE love in order to learn how to GIVE it. We learn how to love ourselves properly from our parents. If we were raised in a cult, our parents were influenced to resist their natural affection toward their children and transfer their greater love to God. This in turn, produces children with self esteem issues who tend to seek the approval of their parents by adhering closely to the cult. A vicious cycle.

    Converts to cults may have adjustments to make in order to receive and give love effectively.Therapy is very helpful in this process. IMO a person can live without love but never thrive. The most sucessful romantic relationships are between those who develop the ability to give unselfish love. In other words, become the kind of person you are looking for. When you do love will find you.

  • panhandlegirl

    caliber, that is a very moving poem.


  • iamwhoiam

    Overall, I do believe (<--term used loosely) love exists as a simple/complex emotion; I just don't fully trust it. Sometimes people do things in the name of love that harms other people. For example, some child molesters don't believe they are harming the child because they actually think they are showing love toward him/her. Cults put undue restrictions/rules upon people because they say they love you and know whats best for you, etc. You have to use your head first (before your heart) and recognize this emotion when it comes up, so that you won't fall for the love bearing charlatans. In my experience, due to human nature, true love is rare. But when it finds you, you will know.

    I guess what I'm saying is, because I was a product of my "born-in" JW environment, I am skeptical of love. Since I chose to no longer be in that environment (mentally and physically), I had to learn how to love and trust myself, because no one is going to do it better than me. If you can't do that, then you have no right to love someone else.

  • Jomavrick

    Well if we are talking about Love the positive, that mix of emotion and thought and heart and mind that overcomes us in our human relationships. I say yes I think we are born with the capability to give and accept love from others. But as so many things in life, we get shaped by our own experiences and some people have a hard time trusting, giving or receiving love from others.

    I think that is sad, because that amazing feeling we get when we are with someone you care about or (even sometimes we are not even physically there - could be a thousand miles apart) is about the most wonderful thing you can experience in life.

    But it is predicated on finding someone truly special that makes you feel that way. I would hope everyone would get to experience that at least once in life,,,,,,,

  • slimboyfat

    Love is a useful and pleasing concept.

  • Quendi

    I want to thank panhandlegirl, caliber and 3rdgen for their kind and healing words. Caliber, your poem was just exquisite. I really appreciate your sharing and I want to wish you all the very best.


  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Do you believe you're alive?

    Do you need it? Do you want it?

  • freeflyingfaerie

    It has been touching to read these expressions.

    I believe in love, because I feel it. Different kinds of love for different people. It is one thing to feel it toward another..and something different to feel it upon you.

    People are truly blessed that share a mutual love.

  • dgp

    I do.

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