Do you believe in Love?

freeflyingfaerie

Maybe you are an atheist.

Maybe you are agnostic.

You have left a cult, left behind an entire belief system, complete with detailed instructions on how to live..rules to follow for every aspect of your very life. It's over. You know it was a big lie.

You are now naked, staring at your soul. Just you, just your own thoughts, just your own voice, your own feelings. Raw. No external messages. You alone. Maybe you have gone there..

You gradually learn to wean yourself from needing the approval of others. In time your inner voice becomes more audible than any outside noise. You trust your instincts, intuition, gut. Your reasoning skills become more keen.

You become comfortable in your own skin.

Do you still believe in love?

Do you need it? Do you want it?

You are now self-sufficient, so do you even desire love from another person (friend, lover..)?

Or have you become aphilia(?) ?

This self-discovery upon leaving the cult can leave a person stripped of so much. Stripped down to bare essentials, naked actually. Do you still believe in love?

If you care to share...

Diest

I believe in love. When i was reevalutating what I believed in after leaving I realized that emotions were some of the truest things we have. Even if they betray you from time to time.

Quendi

I certainly believe in love, but I’ve come to appreciate it in a new way since I left the organization. For me, the wonder was that anyone could love me, that anyone would find me desirable, attractive or a person of real quality. I found it difficult to love myself, so I couldn’t believe that anyone outside my immediate family could or would ever do so or had in the past. How wrong I was!

Realizing this has made me better at both giving and receiving love now. I don’t think this would have been possible had I remained in the organization. Now that I am out, I am looking forward to experiencing love in different ways, to see how it is “a many splendored thing” as the song says. There are some exciting times ahead.

Quendi

finally awake

Yes, I believe in love. I don't know that every person is truly capable of loving another though.

panhandlegirl

I believe in Love. It is a very important part of life. Love for a significant other is difficult to find, or put another way, finding someone worthy of giving your love, yourself, and your life to is difficult to find.

I am self-sufficient and find it difficult to share even my time with anyone. That sounds terrible, but that's the way it is. I am very independent. I think I love my jw sisters more than they love me or my df'd

brothers.

caliber

Philia ( φιλ?α philía [3] ) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers

aphilia I take it would mean without this type of love either

then at least one would like to think you would be left with this natural love like for a parent or child ...

Storge ( στοργ? storge [4] ) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.

I still believe and hope for all four types of love

Agápe Éros Philia Storge

caliber

self-centeredness.
In the same dictionary, the term self-centered has two definitions: 1) independent of outside force or influence: self-sufficient, and 2) concerned solely with one’s own desires, needs, or interests. While the first definition sounds like a virtue, the second is, again, morally pejorative and shame based.

When I break the word self-centered down into it’s two components and look at their meaning, I get a different picture. Again, self is me, my person, my being. Centered is defined as “emotionally stable and secure”. When I put these together they describe an emotionally stable and secure self.

Still I believe you must find the fine line between being self-absorbed and self-centred to the point of selfishness.

I have learned through counsel for the last year or so that you must care for yourself first in order to love others.I had been taught over my life the self-sacrifice was the greated virtue.(more happiness in giving than receiving ) But you must know who you are, and what your personal desires and needs are first , then when you know this..
reach out to others for shared love.

When you find your centre and another can accept your centre and vis versa... things should work out

“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.”

Charlotte Brontë

In other words life without external love is like food without seasoning

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCp3-TqzwrY

Actually love is the centre of the universe !

dreamgolfer

Sing it Cher!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Uu3kCEEc98

panhandlegirl

Quendi, I'm glad that you have found someone to love and who loves you. I cannot imagine why you found it hard to love yourself or think no one could love you. You come across as a very giving and

generous person. You were giving to your students, your family, and you have given of yourself on this forum. You've been generous in sharing your knowledge with us. I believe the ability to share yourself

with others is truly a quality of love. Just saying.

freeflyingfaerie

Thank you all for sharing! I don't know where to start to respond to these posts. It gets me emotional reading them. It's warming to know that we haven't lost our humanity an capacity for love.

Do you believe in Love?

I still believe and hope for all four types of love

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