by rip van winkle 34 Replies latest members private
This is a question on my mind. There are pros and cons either way.
The simplest way is for me to fade. It will enable me to stay in contact with some friends.
On the other hand, knowing TTATT makes me want to write a letter to the WTB&T telling them:
"I Disfellowship YOU!" and all the reasons why.
It's just plain hard to see how the so-called "FD&S" (GB) could not be aware of the false dates and cover-up lies for almost a "generation"
And all their cult tactics.
Comments, please.
What is your goal?
Good Question leavingwt. I don't know.
Seems like I am unable to make decisions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After all I've been in a cult and basically haven't had to THINK in 20 or so years!!!!!!!!!!
I have friends that I care about and am concerned about.
Then again, if I send a letter of disassociation to the BOE and even to indiv. friends in the org, giving them the reasons for the decision, I will be shunned.
For me, once I realized that the witnesses did not actually have "the truth" and weren't any better than any other religion, they lost all authority and legitimacy in my eyes. At that point, I didn't feel that I needed to do anything like officially disassociating. I just abruptly quit attending, and stop responding to the (pitifully few) attempts to contact me. I don't give a flying fig what they do - if they disfellowship me or announce that I've disassociated myself through my actions or whatever - it just doesn't matter to me. I will not appear if called to a judicial committee, and I won't answer or return calls from any dub. I am not wasting one more minute of my life on those people.
For me, once I realized that the witnesses did not actually have "the truth" and weren't any better than any other religion, they lost all authority and legitimacy in my eyes.
I agree. DF or DA is part of THEIR RULES.
Thank you for your thoughts, Finally Awake.
How long were you a Witness? What about your friends?
When I became a JW I left my "worldly" friends behind.
On the other hand, if I cannot be completely honest then I'm not really being a friend to anyone anyway.
I don't know if this helps but:
If I had no family but just friends, I would rather disassociate or move away and terminate all contact immediately. I wouldn't DA just for the 'fuck off' effect or trying to 'teach' anyone anything - it would be to make sure no one bothers trying to "help" me. I can always make new friends, not a problem.
The only reason for the fade is to allow my wife time to either 'see the light' or at least readjust to what is essentially a new me.
What I am saying: I've got a great wife! And some really good family. I can't play this game forever, but for the time being, I consider it time well spent if I am able to get them out.
I was a witness for about 11 years. I lost all my wordly friends when I joined up, and I no longer have any way to track most of them down. As far as witness friends, I never really made any that counted as real friends. I was rarely included in social activities other than the get togethers for the entire congregation. I rarely received phone calls or had any of the sisters act like they wanted to really spend time with me. During the last couple of years I attended meetings, I was basically shunned. Nobody talked to me, nobody acted like they cared whether I lived or died. So I didn't really feel much of a social loss leaving the borg. I only have one aunt and uncle in the borg, and they live 600 miles away. We have never been really close and there isn't any reason to worry about the impact on that relationship.
My advice if you have some people you would like to still have in your life is :
Don't do anything grand or drastic. You'd be amazed at how much people can adapt to you doing less or nothing with "the truth". It depends on the person, but some may still talk to you.
If you were to do something like disassociate, it would make those odds pretty slim.
Just take it slow, try not to make any rash decisions when you're particularly fed up with things.
Also, sorry to say, but wishful thinking about telling people how you feel and them understanding is just that: Wishful Thinking.
Not saying it doesn't happen but it's waaay too easy to convince yourself that it's probable, when odds are it's not.
RIP: I ask the very same question not so long ago and received some great advise. Desirous Of Change is dead on. It is their rules. Don't quit let um fire us. If your fade is tolerable and does not interfer with friends an family just stay put. I have found a sure fired way to get them to shut up when I am ask "are you going to the meeting, or why aren't you going to the meetings" just look puzzled like and say "why do you ask" and then shut up. Gawd the silence makes them run like rats on a sinking ship.
