I wish I had DA'd as opposed to fading. My fade has been over 4 years or so I am very open about it and if anyone asks I tell them I am an EX JW I dont hide or shade away from the fact im out. I openly celebrate birthdays and holidays. Anyway, if I had DA'd I would have been left alone. Instead I still get random people I used to know showing up at my door on Satruday morning "Just dropping by an article they thought I would like". I politely take them and as I turn from the door I drop whatever propaganda they left in the trash. If I had DA'd I would have been publicly named an apostate and they would have avoided me like the flu.
To Fade or Disassociate....That Is The Question
by rip van winkle 34 Replies latest members private
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Black Sheep
If you want to keep family and friends, consider staying 'in good standing', while you ask them the questions that got you to research TTATT, because once you don the Apostate Regalia your best chance of influencing them is gone.
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Sayswho
I have all but faded for over 2 years but still have to associate with many Jw's for different reasons that can not be avoided at this time. And some I have know for over 30 years and actually like...
This last week the idea of DA'n myself was put to me by of my closest friends who is in good standing---a MS (once elder-stepped downed or aside).
I have been trying not to respond in an uncontrolled emotional state... for me that means not giving a reply when in a state of anger, anxiety, fear... or? However I have found that you can train yourself to respond quickly and appropriately.
This question made me angry--frustrated. I was disappointed in him for suggesting it. He... knowing full-well what it would mean to do so.
So I responded with a question: WHY? and then said: WOULD I NOT BE COMMITTING SOCIAL SUICIDE?
I'm now in the process of answering the questions below to see what is the most beneficial for me.
- Why would I do that?... What would I gain? Who would benefit?
- Am I being forced to make a declaration?
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rip van winkle
Three years later...
Faded. Mostly without a hitch.
Unsuccessful at awakening "friends". Didn't see them or speak to them often enough to make an impact.
Speak to one or two every so often. It's been difficult. I had put my life on hold as a JW plus the fading time.
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Phizzy
Good to hear from you Rippy boy, you did it, that alone is something to be proud of !
And to hear it was mostly without a hitch will give heart to others about to take the same journey.
All the best for the rest of your life !