Don't do anything rash. Consider the feelings of your family and YOU.
If you decide to be a submarine, you can effectively come and go as you please and infiltrate the Borg and stage "Hostage Rescues" of loved ones and friends.
To Fade or Disassociate....That Is The Question
by rip van winkle 34 Replies latest members private
-
-
diamondiiz
I DA myself, and I would do it again BUT a bit different. If I were to do it again I would basically start pointing out wts falsehood to "friends" and family members and I would push it to the point of JC before I would give the elders DA letter and tell them to go Fuck themselves!! This way at least there would have been some conversations started, eyebrows lifted and odd looks given but some may at least had some seeds planted and that way they could do whatever they wanted with the info they heard or evidence presented. But honestly I wanted out of the cult for me and no one else, and cared less if I lost everyone I knew since I didn't need false friends or fake family (inlaws).
Now, if you actually care to have contact with any of these people and that is very important to you, simply fade. Fading will not guarantee you won't be shunned not does it guarantee you that your so called friends won't abandon you because you are "spiritually weak".
If you have family that you don't want to lose, fade may be the option for you. If you have family that will not shun you as there are still some half ass normal jws out there, you can consider DA yourself knowing you will still have your family - but remember that even wonderful family members many times will change once one leaves the cult and will shun. My side of the family are RC so I never worried about that which may be why I DA as I had.
-
Aware!
I hate myself for pushing away all those nice people who wanted to be my friend in high school, but it comforts me to know that it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I thought I was doing the right thing because they were 'worldly'. I am now in college and am trying to make friends, but really don't have a clue.
I've been in the same congregation all my life, (I'm still in and very young) and never made any friends because nobody was 'spiritual' enough for my mom, and she just plain trusts no one. So that meant no get-togethers or sleepovers when I was a kid. When I was growing up, I was only allowed to play with my two front neighbors because she could see me from the kitchen window.
So for me, I would only be leaving family that I don't even talk to that much. My mom on the other hand might take it hard, though. I don't even think I should get her out, becaue it would be too much for her and she would be lost. I don't think everyone should learn the real truth; sometimes it's better to live a lie.
So to answer your question, I would say fade and don't play by their dumb rules. I too would not bother writing them a letter or appearing to a JC.
-
Aware!
Has anyone read a story here where writing a letter with WT falsehoods helped? I'm curious. I currently have given up planting seeds because I can't afford to be DF'd right now.
-
Phizzy
The problem I am facing at present is that simply fading gives you no closure. They still have their hooks in to you. You cannot do or say certain things because then the bastards will convene a J.C quicker than you can say "Kangaroo Court".
I find that because I feel so hamstrung there is a lot of underlying anger that triggers depression, because I try to control and cover the anger.
I think being faded and yet watching ones back is a very bad situation, faded and not giving a flying f**k if a DFing happens may be O.K
I think I will try the latter, if it doesn't work for me then I will DA.
-
EnlightenedEphesian
Harleybear, love your response! I'm going to give that I try, wish me luck
-
harleybear
Enlightened: Fun exercise.. After saying it count 1 MISSISSIPI 2 MISSISSIPI and see how long it takes for a response or reactition. It truly is amazing
-
blondie
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/34518/1/On-The-Art-Of-Fading
My husband and I faded 11 years ago. And df'd, da'd, inactive, you lose your "friends" at the KH. I figure da'ing is playing the WTS games and your da letter will only be seen by the elders who will not read it. You can send a short (not 20 page) letter to friends and family or post it in the local newspaper and maybe plant a seed.
-
finally awake
Phizzy - I was afraid at first of dealing with the fallout once the local dubs got wind that I was participating in "forbidden" activities. We let the older kids join the boy scouts, and we started celebrating birthdays, and I registered to vote. I know for a fact that they know we are involved with the boy scouts, but so far they haven't said a word to us about it. I half-way think that they will be content to just ignore us for the foreseeable future. As far as I know, they've never DF'd anyone locally unless that person was still attending meetings and interacting with the congregation. Everyone else, no matter how blatantly they violate the "rules", has been left alone.
-
Phizzy
Long may that continue for you Sweet FA ! some on here have not been so lucky, depends on how layed back the B.O.E is.
I have long sailed close to the wind, donating blood, voting etc and if I get DF'd for one or other of those kind of things I will involve the local media to show up their totally hypocritical attitude.
But what is bugging me is this seeming power they have over me, because I have to think about such things, you know, as you step out of the Polling station or the Blood Transfusion service place after a donation you think "did anybody see me I wonder" ?
That is why I am erring on the side of DAing, what stops me right now is that I do enjoy the fredom to speak with who the hell I like, evenafter a DA or DFing they will still have the power to dictate to cult members how to deal with me.
It just seems that you cannot truly ever be free of them.