How did you long-timers do it before the internet / Ray Franz books / abundant information?

by irondork 58 Replies latest jw friends

  • irondork

    With all the tools and information at the disposal of newly awakened ones, it's still no easy task coming to terms with the magnitude of it all. It still takes a lot of gut-wrenching time and effort to get to the point where you are sure you made the right decision to leave.

    How did you long-timers (old-timers, respectfully) manage it without Crisis of Conscience, Christian Freedom, JWN, JWFacts, Freeminds, access to thousands of fellow survivors with stories just like yours?

    How did you do it?

    Oh, and... thanks for blazing the trail!

  • Heaven

    As a teenager, more serious subject matter was being presented to me and I could not honestly accept it. Too much was just not sitting right with me.

    Subjugation, refusing a blood transfusion to save a life, eternal salvation depended on going door-to-door, the 1975 failure of the Armageddon prophecy, flip-flops (one specific one I distinctly remember was my Mom's flip-flop on Evolution) to name a few. Too much just did not add up for me. I wasn't in agreement with the Watchtower's interpretation of scripture.

    Maybe it's because my Dad wasn't in at the time. Maybe it's the way I'm made. I've always known who I was and have tried to be honest and truthful to myself. Kids know BS. Some people need it... I don't.

  • talesin

    One of my friends committed suicide because he was gay. It was 1975, I was a pioneer (I was 17YO). There was a lot of drinking and partying, everyone was living double lives, and the "Daniel" book was kinda my last straw concerning belief. What a bunch of gobbledygook! I just saw through the whole facade - it was a miracle, considering I'm a 4th gen born-in to VERY strict JWs.

    I got really sick upon my friend's suicide, and when I came out of that, told my mom I couldn't go to the KH. She kicked me out, sick as I was. Several years later, even though I just faded away, they came after me and I got DF'd because I told them I no longer believed. It was all a lie.

    And that's all she wrote!


    has cost me dearly,,, but it was all worth while to be able to heal, to know my authentic self.



  • Fernando

    I could not have left without computers, and the Watchtower library search tool.

    I could not have progressed at such a breathtaking pace after leaving without computers, the internet, and Google.

    My addiction to religion was severe and deep: 3 generations and 4 decades. My thought processes had also been wrecked by religion and needed rebuilding - like trying to dig yourself out of a rather deep hole.

    Of course if I had met and known someone who knew what I know now, they may have been able to help, if I was willing to listen to them...

  • Farkel

    : How did you do it?

    I left in 1974. It was the hypocricy, back-stabbing, lies and bullshit. Mostly, it was all the bullshit and the lies which were so transparent, I kick myself for not seeing them sooner.

    Didn't need Ray Franz to see the bullshit. One doesn't need to look very hard to see the bullshit.


  • BizzyBee

    thanks for blazing the trail!

    You're welcome.

    I left before we even had computers, let alone the interwebs. I'd had doubts for quite some time and it was initially an emotional withdrawal - in my heart it just didn't make sense. I faded, so my large JW family didn't quite know I'd left until I "married out of the truth." When we bought our first home my brother formally disowned me ("anything we ever were to each other no longer exists") but my mother never did. The longer I was out, the more sure I was that this was not "the truth," even though I had moments of uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. But, the world was so much bigger and more interesting than these small-minded ciphers at the KH were allowed to see, so I hung on.

    After nearly ten years of being the only person I knew who was an apostate, I got my hands on and read Visions of Glory: A History and a Memory of Jehovah's Witnesses by Barbara Grizzuti Harrison. I inhaled that book like oxygen. Finally I had an intellectual underpinning for my emotional disconnect.

    I haven't felt a shred of cognitive dissonance about the WTS in 30+ years.

  • LV101

    Left in '97 but had tried to find info online a few yrs. previously but found nothing. I was at the point I couldn't return or deal with it even w/my poor attendance record. Just didn't care anymore and felt so esctatic about my decision to never go back. Shortly thereafter found H20 and realized I'd made the right decision.

  • talesin

    Yay, Farkel! I didn't know you did, too, but it doesn't surprise me.



  • JWdaughter

    I did have access to a large library of WT materials, including the interlinear. I also had access to regular Bibles and a great library. Towards the end I had access to Christian bookstore and they had a couple of brochures on the subject, but by the time I was wandering in Christian bookstores openly, I was out already:) Years later, Crisis of Conscience came out and I just gasped my way through a lot of it, but I was already out on the basis of their written record and common sense. (My family had been in the org for decades and collected just about all the old stuff until they figured out that it wasn't such a great idea with me around-and they disposed of it. Like porn:) )

  • Iamallcool

    If I did not have any internet access, I would probably return to the borg by now.

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