Opinions on keeping your identity secret

by rebel8 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  What do you think?

  Some ex-jws feel strongly we should all be "out of the closet" so we can present real faces to the public on the issue of cult dangers. To those folks I say, more power to you, all the best.

  For my own life I have a different approach.

  Compartmentalizing is healthy for me. It keeps my past in the past. I am not "rebel8" anywhere or anytime other than the few minutes I spend posting on here each week. I don't think or talk about jws any other time. I do need to talk about it--I've been through terrible abuse & all--those few minutes are like a dose of antihistamine I take to prevent hayfever. I only think about it in the a.m. when I take it, and at the odd time when I have breakthrough symptoms.

  Also, I have a totally different life now, a life that would be jeopardized by revealing my identity. People to think of me as the "girl with the f-ed up childhood, she will never be normal". I have a high profile job and loss of credibility or pity would interfere with my effectiveness. My career is very important to me--it's an apt symbol of me overcoming the great obstacle that jwism was.

  Imagine the burden of the "f-ed up girl" reputation onthose who are now my family. It would be too much for them. The humiliation and notariety are not things many normal people are equipped to handle.

  Finally, retribution is a legitimate concern. wts sent people to my house in regards to things I said about the blood issue, almost 20 yrs after I ended my contact with the jws. This despite having documented written instructions 2x previous not to come on my property, and here they well know it's against the law to do so (per the wts' own letter to the BOE re this particular law here). My husband was alarmed--he said if they would defy that, then they are capable of worse. That is a normal person's reaction and I think a reasonable one.

  Now I am not shying away from standing up for myself. What I'm shying away from is doing things to start battles with people who don't matter, when the battle doesn't have any positive outcome that can't be achieved by easier, more peaceful means.

  I feel I've suffered enough at the hands of this cult. I am going to do what I want to do in a way I feel is effective. I'm in the driver's seat now.
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  TOTH

  I appreciate your stance on this. I also appreciate the out of the closet stance. each of us has our own set of circumstances and I feel that however we stand on this issue is a personal matter. My surviving family are aware of my position, however my wife's family are very much still into the whole wt's judge and destroy policy, so I keep a low profile MOST of the time for Mrs TOTH'S sake.

  You are right...WHY start a fight with people who no longer matter to you. They are not in your life so I agree to just let them be.
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  carla

  I agree with you Rebel. For some it works out to be 'out' there and for some they can do much more behind the scenes if their identity is not widely known. Either way, most ex jw's have suffered great loss for their exit and should not be expected to cause further harm in their lives due to this insidious cult. That being said I am grateful for the ex jw's who have written books, blogs, websites, etc... be it their real name or not the word is getting out there. For all ex jw's who have contributed on the boards or who have ever commented on yahoo questions or wherever, I am thankful.

  Even comments made on the boards with 'fake names' may have contributed more than they know. Who knows? some author may be researching and see your post or comment and use it!
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  rebel8

  hi carla! how are you?
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  Kojack57

  Rebel8: I agree we all have our reasons for remaining anonymous. What good would it do to completely come out of the closet unless we were 100% ready to do that. Until then,we may be able to help others, that will still speak to us without being completely shunned.

  Kojack
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  Think About It

  One thing that can help keep your identity a secret is to grab a fake picture and use it. For instance, my avatar is not really me.....just some asshole off the internet.

  Think About It
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  La Falta Habitacion Por Sr Hor-Hey!!

  Can't speak for everybody else, but I've got my own reasons, namely......family. Even if not for family, and even if I was well beyond this religion's clutches, I still wouldn't put my face or name on the web. The JW part of my life is just that, a PART of my life, so I don't feel I would ever owe it to anyone to feature that prominently under any circumstances.

  Also, I have a totally different life now, a life that would be jeopardized by revealing my identity. People to think of me as the "girl with the f-ed up childhood, she will never be normal". I have a high profile job and loss of credibility or pity would interfere with my effectiveness. My career is very important to me--it's an apt symbol of me overcoming the great obstacle that jwism was.

  I respect this, particulary the pity aspect of it. Somone living in Mogadishu is worthy pitying, and I'm sure many of them are prideful enough to grit an bear it without expecting a pity party from anyone. If they can live life under unfavorable circumstances with the rest of the world not giving a damn, I can do the same a JW who doesn't entirely buy the WT's shenanigans.
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  Balaamsass

  rebel8- I agree with you 100% why give them anymore of your short life. I also agree 100% with those who have sacraficed to set up web-sites like this. I don't know how they do it, but I even agree with those who are on this site and still serving at Bethels, and as C.O.s. reporting and trying to change the Borg from within.

  For us, we try to catch-up a few few times a week and sometimes let a month or more pass. I have set up "news alerts" on some of my browsers, so when something particularly juicy comes along I just click on the link. By staying off the local JW radar we have gotten a little peace and extra time in our lives. By not "comming out of the closet" :), the Mrs and I have been able to "help more honest hearted ones" in fewer hours than we ever did in the Borg. I still get weekly calls from active JWs on a broad range of questions. I usually am able to remind them that "90% of the Kings of Isreal we bad, should we expect any less... if.... this is the time of the end"? I suggest they simply "Google" certain subjects...and voila! They end up on this site, Cedar's, Randy's and Barbara's.....:). In turn, they do the same thing, and on, and on, it goes...so... keep up the good work...whatever work you can do!

  I only wish more sites were available in Spanish..then we would really see a decrease in stats.
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  finally awake

  Some days I feel like shouting from the rooftops, and some days I prefer to just forget I was ever part of the borg. I live in a very small town, so I figure that most people I meet either already know I used to be a witness, or it will come out eventually anyway.
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  charlie brown jr.

  I kept it a secret for over a yr then..............

  I didn't care.........

  Who I am Is Here......