Faithful Brother--you have reached out! Is that because you are ready for it to get better? Because it certainly can, although it may not seem that way right now. Keep reaching out. If alcohol is a problem (and it sounds like it is) get some support in your community. You will also make friends that way. Can you get some counseling? With the level of religious abuse you lived with, I would think that would be an excellent idea.
Are you ready for a change? Because I believe you are totally capable. Because you are reaching out. I'm so sorry about the impending doom---that can be exhausting and definitely make one feel like drinking. I was inactive for 2 years, but still captive to the concept. That impending doom was a constant factor in my life. I remember that drinking relieved it---although I never became addicted I certainly drank too much. But when I finally freed myself of the cult, and the impending doom let up, I felt so much better.
Keep reading. It will help with that nagging sensation. Keep posting. It will help you stay connected. And reach out in real life---you need friends and support. You may be surprised at how wonderful 'worldly' people can really be when you are in need. Take your time, and choose worthy associates.
It can get better starting now.