Q: How DID Noah get all those animals into the Ark?

by notjustyet 43 Replies latest social humour

  • the-illuminator81
    the-illuminator81

    Why put them in the ark? Why not give them snorkels instead?

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    A snorkel may be all very well, but you cant easily make dumb ass illustrations connecting it to 130 year old printing corporation as Gods means of the salvation of mankind now can you!?

  • blondie
    blondie

    As a kid I always knew it wasn't big enough to store food for all the animals for 1 year. The more jws tried to convince me it was literal, the more I believed the flood story was at best a story with a moral. When I learned about Vail's theory of the water rings (and who believes that still today but jws), I tossed that story, and that took care of my problem with all those people (children) included being executed permanently, no resurrection.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/152570/1/WHENCE-THE-FLOOD-WATERS-The-Flood-and-the-Water-Canopy-Theory

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    You're all wrong. All of you. If they pack so much flavor into a single Dorito chip, then clealy Noah could pack 5,000,000 bajillion species into a wooden box.

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    Bumped for Falcon's superb image find. I was going to say magic but this is a simpler explanation.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    I went to a craft show with a friend who was raised as a funie and is now an atheist. Somebody had wooden puzzles where the pieces were shaped like animals and the finished product was an ark. She just stared at it, then said in her meek little voice "So THAT's how they fit all those animals in the ark.'

    I thought it was brilliant

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Maybe he pureed them.

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    LOL................

    This is it...........

    I know U feel it...................

    It's NOW OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • jamesmahon
    jamesmahon

    Maybe he ate them all and did a really big shit. God made sure it was a floater. Noah's 'ark' is just a euphemism.

  • Dogpatch
    Dogpatch

    you have to understand black holes, and then you will get it.

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