Elders breaking Confidentiality - I want this thread to be dirtyy

by usualusername 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • 00DAD

    Elders do not understand the word "confidential" the way other people do. They think it means "don't tell anyone anything, that's our job".

    But that's not too surprising. When you think about it, JWs like to "re-define" all kinds of words to mean something other than what they mean to everyone else on the planet. Some examples:

    • Soon
    • Generation
    • Mercy
    • Love
    • Truth
    • Honesty
    • Christian
    • ...
  • ScenicViewer

    00DAD said,

    "At that point I flat out accused him of lying, [...] I kindly reminded him where the door was..."

    I'm sure glad you had the nerve, courage, and presence of mind to call him on that. Too often we let things slide, then later wish we had said something.

    This lack of confidentiality in the Organization, but pretending everything is ok, is too much. It's just one more example of Watchtower dishonesty.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I was thinking of the liability issues. Professional clergy get educating and training. Counseling is a formal part of the curriculum. When I am a church member, I voluntarily support it by pledging or placing money in the collection plate. In return, I get clergy who have expertise not only in theology but social issues and how to deal with people. If they are too quick with their tongues, they lose income. The vestry can remove them. All of my several churches have been very nice, with valuable art work. Most of my churches have landmark status. Besides, there is often a professional choir. In rural areas, people volunteer but the choir is still spectacular. Social networks are set up for fellowship within and without the church.

    So where does the Witness money go? We have inept clergy, whatever you want to call them. The KHs are shabby with no windows. The WT is low cost at the local level. All volunteer, no choir that spends hours practicing to give praise to the Lord. My KH had a phonograph with no piano or player, let alone organ. I would love to see actual financial figures.

    One more thing. The finances are posted publicly at every church. Members serve on financial committees, auditors are hired. So with such low costs, where does the money go? I am curious what the actual Protestant.Catholic collection is compared to money in the box at KH.

    My father and mother knew most of the crap and personalities at Bethel. The lack of confidentiality starts there.

  • JakeM2012

    Elderettes have the assumed and self-appointed assignment of participating in mid-week service to get first hand the scoop on publishers. Some have the ability to eavesdrop on 3 different conversations while pretending to talk with someone. The elderettes come home and complain about the situation or inform their husbands in round about ways of their information. The elder brings the grumblings to the other elders. Husband reports back to wife. So who's in control?

    After a few snipe hunts many elders just couldn't be believed because you knew it was from their wives. Usually, the first question asked was, "whom did you get that information from"? Some of the PO's wives just wanted a soap opera in the congregation with a season finally of who shot J.R. in Dallas. What else could drive elderettes to go to all the mid-week service but to gather information for their husband elders?

    I remember while serving as an elder the body considering a young man's qualifications. One elder says to all the elders after a favorable recommendation and most of the discussion, "Has anyone talked to him lately about how he is handling his masterbation problem"? I thought, you sorry dog; that was low.

    Then you have the fishing elders, who want to try the ESP deal by asking leading questions to see if you will bite. You would think that confidentiallity means you shouldn't be digging for information that you are not supposed to know of.

    Sometimes elders will use the confidentiallity card to cop out on their duties, for instance, when a family comes into the congregation and they receive a bad letter from the previous congregation. No one tells any representative of the family why they are blackballed. "It's confidential". So the family can't face the accuser and therefore, do not know how to defend themselves. I know one brother that said he has waited 3 years for the shunning to stop and he is finished and preparing to leave. I said, great, slam the screen door when you leave.

    I thought it interesting when asking the PO's what was the most impressive thing they learned at the elders school? "Oh, I can't talk about that, it is confidential." So reading the OR book is now confidential? The confidentiallity of elders is a joke.

  • JakeM2012

    Several years ago while in the library, several of the filing cabinettes were unlocked and open. I talked to several on the service committee that these files needed to be locked up. The files obviously consisted of all the judicial cases for the last upteen years. The cheap fileing cabinets were broken and would not lock. The elders did not do anything, and the cabinets remained that way for months and are probably still that way. The files were not removed or moved to a lockable cabinette. So if you had a key to the hall you could go over and read about all the Judicial committees for the last twenty years. Some confidentiality?

  • NewChapter

    LOL Jake. I remember when an elder's wife had a real problem with people going out in early morning service and working bus stops and businesses to the exclusion of the normal service times and door to door work. She complained on it pretty incessantly (she was a pioneer). She would name specific people and lament that by 9 am they had put in their time and were not available to support the regular groups. I would just stay silent, because I knew these people, and worked with the, and I also knew they talked to 50 times more people than door to door crap, placed more magazines, had more regular return visits and worked a lot harder. They worked without break, and their ministry was packed with actually talking.


    After her complaining reached a certain shrill peak, we had a special needs talk. We were told that door to door was the main way of participating in the ministry, and that we should only supplement it and not replace it by other methods. Her husband gave the talk, and you could tell his heart was not in it. It was so evident to me that he was just following instructions and trying to quiet the complaining that was led by . . . his wife.

    I know the above is not about confidentiality---but after reading Jake's post---I thought it was interesting as to who is often in control.


  • biometrics

    Even as a child I knew the exact reason everyone was disfellowshipped. It was common knowledge that certian elder's wives would tell all.

  • 00DAD

    SV, thanks for the kind words, but trust me. For way too many years I let things slide. No more. I'm making up for lost time and it feels so good!!!

  • 00DAD

    BOTR: So where does the Witness money go?

    To the WTBTS. But I'm sure you know that!

    BOTR: I would love to see actual financial figures.

    I have to admit, that only dawned on me just recently: EVERY Congregation reviews the congregation accounts PUBLICLY every single month, yet the WTBTS NEVER makes any of their financials available. Why is that? Hmmmmm! More WT hypocrisy!!!!!!

    I know I've said this before about the leadership of the WTBTS but it bears repeating: They're crooks and should be dealt with accordingly. I'm aghast that their activity is not illegal.

  • Scott77

    Obviously, the lack of clear bible guidelines about handling confidential matters and the fact that elders work on voluntary basis without financial remuneration from the Watchtower unlike Christendom clergy, compounds the problem. These are ordinary men, some from low station of life with average high school education but with enormous amount power over people's lives,thanks to the watchtower organisational structure setup. Unlike professional counselors, watchtower-sponsored elders do not have certified licenses to put on line in case disclosing confidential matters. Scott77

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