Well, I remember one elder telling me, if what someone did gets out, it's not because of the elders telling other people, and that an elder could lose his position for breaching confidentiality. This seemed to fly in the face of reality, as without fail everytime someone got in trouble, my mom always knew what they did. Now surely, everyone didn't just go and blab to someone else, now did they? I never knew on my own, as I considered it as none of my business. I bristled whenever gossip came up and wanted to avoid it like the plague.
Fast forward to my own committee, and I found my mother knew I was going to be DF'd before it happened. Now consider, I had already been in another congregation for some time, not even the same congregation as her. She says my wife didn't tell her. And I know I didn't tell her. And I hadn't clearly identified myself on this site yet, that I remember--as I'm sure my mom would've brought up, hey why are you posting this stuff on the Internet? So there's really only one other possible conclusion--someone else in that room had to be the one to tell someone about it.
I may be wrong, but on the plus side, at least I have no way of knowing who said what to who. Hey, maybe they did keep confidentiality and my wife talked to someone in my mom's congregation and then they started spreading the word. I just have trouble fully believing that, is all.