Help! HLC member coming

PrincessCynic

So I'm in the tricky situation of being out mentally, in physically. 'Woke up' last year when I decided that I wanted a baby but didn't want to raise it in this cult. So far only my husband knows how I feel and I'm staying 'undercover' for his sake. I'm hoping to get him out or at least leave with his blessing and I'm making progress. He's gone from being totally disgusted that I would look at anything apostate to agreeing with a lot of what I say, researching stuff with me and losing faith in the GB. I've still got a long way to go though. I'm fading slowly (minimal FS, stopped commenting, giving talks & demos, miss loads of meetings) but I have a mother who will have a complete mental breakdown if I leave. Also I haven't got my head straight about what I actually believe yet.

Anyway, my problem is that I'm now pregnant and the elders have arranged someone from the HLC to meet with me. The blood issue was one of the first things I took issue with. I believe it's unscriptual and dangerous. The stand I'm taking is that I will avoid blood if possible for me and baby as accepting it would mean being DFd and my baby growing up without any family. BUT, there's no way I'm refusing it if it will save either of our lives.

Sorry for rambling, I have no idea how to handle this, please advise. The HLC wants me to fill out forms that will go in my medical notes. Does anyone have any experience here? I'm in the UK if that makes any difference.

baltar447

Wow, I've NEVER heard of them proactively going after someone to meet with them if you don't already have a medical problem. Not sure I can offer anything but I'm sure some will chime in with good advice. Good for you making progress to getting you and your husband out! Good job. Hang in there.

Gayle

wow,,control really stepping up, a married pregnant sister, already gets a 'committee' meeting. Not a 'judicial' committee meeting already but almost a 'reminder' (subconsciously), of a possible "JC," therefore a HL committee discussion for now. Is this is a GB arrangement of Preventative Disfellowshipping or Marking? I know this would never be admitted, they are doing this out of 'love.'

diamondiiz

I never heard of them requesting anyone to meet them. Just tell them when you need their services you will call upon them, and until then they get get lost.

I don't know about UK, but I would guess that your medical records are private and they have no access to it. When you go in labor you don't need to inform them and neither does your husband. When we were having a baby I was already out while my wife wasn't, they never bothered her nor wanted to know when my wife went in to hospital - it's none of their business.

You can have your blood card signed in front of the elders but that doesn't mean you need to have it on you afterwards. Make sure your doctor isn't a JW and knows your "new" view of blood if informed him before regarding your no-blood stand.

Londo111

http://www.freeminds.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3230:blood-transfusion-ban-was-fred-franzs-invention&catid=8:randys-blog&Itemid=571

According to this...you can't be disfellowshipped or disassociated for taking blood. Not sure how much that will help...but maybe the one who wrote this article could give you more insight?

james_woods

Do you suspect your mother or your husband had anything to do with this?

It does sound highly unusual.

PrincessCynic

Doctor a JW? Yeah right!

I guess what I'm wondering is whether the HLC are actually useful, like if they're around I'd be likely to get better treatment. I'm worried that if I express my doubts to my midwife I'll just be given blood because it's cheaper/less hassle (This is the NHS we're talking about!) when actually I only want it as a last resort. So maybe it's worth keeping up the act?

I don't have to keep the forms in my medical notes or call them if I go into labour if I don't want to. It's already going to look bad that my medical card is 4 years old and my address as well as the elders' adresses have changed since then.

I've never met this HLC member before and don't have his details to cancel the appointment. He did sound like a moron on the phone though

Phizzy

Whatever, you do not have to meet with anybody, you are an adult for chrissakes.

Say, thanks so much, I don't want to waste the brother's time, i have all the info. blah blah

If you think it may flag up a problem to them if you refuse, then meet.

Let the old fart have his say, go along with it all, say ,thanks for the forms, I will get them filled in and put with my notes forthwith brother ! you are so kind to take all this trouble.

Then make sure the medical staff know your position. Last resort is blood, but don't delay, Doctor please, me and baby want to live ! not die for the discredited doctrine of a publishing company posing as areligion.

PrincessCynic

Thanks for the link, I'll have a read. Didn't realise I couldn't be DFd! Even if it's pre-meditated?

Definitely not my husband or mum. Just an over-zealous elder thinking he's looking out for me, said he'd order a pregnancy pack from the society and contact the HLC. I got the feeling this is normal precedure.

blond-moment

YOU are the patient, YOU have a doctor, the HLC has no power over YOU. Just tell your doctor, yes I would prefer you try everything else before blood, but if worse were to come to worse, I will take blood for myself and my baby. I understand (don't quote me on it) but there are some (now awake and speaking out) who quietly told their doctors in private "ignore all that, I will take blood if my life depends on it"

Explain your situation, that it needs to remain STRICKLY confidencial, that there can be NO risk of the HLC having access to your medical records. Make sure the nurses keep their traps shut as well. Explain the reprecutions you will have to endure if they find out. Even if they don't DF you, you and I both know JWs will make your life hard.

The reality is, if you are making plans to leave this organization, the JW family may not be a part of it anyway. Sad fact, but that's the reality. I know the headache my mother put me thru when I was pregant and my daughter was young. I was married, but I wasn't baptized, so she used my pregnancy and daughter as a weapon. Ended up losing my family anyway. If I could do it again, I wouldn't put myself thru that.

Watchtower love, is not love. It's not unconditional. It can be pulled out from under you and used against you at any time.

Congrats on the baby! Your life is going to be turned on it's head, but in a wonderful way.

Help! HLC member coming

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