How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ? (page 2)

jam

Since 1987, I have nieces and nephews I have never

met and we live in the same area. Yes, A lovely organization.

This cult destroyed our family.

panhandlegirl

I will try to report back on the day and let you all know what it was like. If you have anything you want me to look out for please let me know.

Thanks for the infor cantleave and nugget please let us know the high points or anything you feeel is relevant for us.

00DAD

I was disfellowshipped three years ago. Since that time I've only had limited contact with my minor son, that in spite of having a court ordered visitation schedule which his mother signed.

I have only talked with my other son who is 20 yrs. old once.

Recently I wrote to the elders asking if they would rescind my disfellowshipping. They declined even though I am no longer engaged in the activity for which I was disfellowshipped and have not been for over a year. Although none of them has had any contact with me in three years they somehow magically determined in less than 1/2 an hour that I do not have a contrite heart.

I repeatedly said that I want to begin rebuilding my relationship with my sons. Their response was I had to go to meetings. I said, "How many?" They said, "Months." I said, "How many?" They said, "A number of months." I asked, "How many is 'a number'?" They simply repeated, "A number of months."

I asked which scripture was the basis for the requirement that I attend, "A number of months of meetings." before they would reinstate me. They said, "Hebrews 10:24,25, 'Do not forsake .....'"

I pointed out that in that scripture Paul was admonishing Christians to "gather together for encouragment". Nowhere in that verse does it make it a requirement for reinstatment. They were quiet. I then asked, "Can you show me a specific quote in any WT or other publication that shows a person must attend a specific number of meetings or any at all for that matter to be reinstated?"

They said, "No, but ....."

I asked if it gave this direction in their elders' manual.

They again said, "No, but ..."

I then said, "So you are making a requirement which cannot be supported by any scripture, any WT reference or even in your elders manual. Is that correct?"

They replied, "You need to demonstrate 'works that befit repentance' before you can be reinstated."

"I have shown many 'works befitting repentance'. We've already discussed that."

Elders, "But your not attending meetings now."

"I went for two years, wasn't that enough?"

Elders, "But your not going now!"

"You're right. I discouraged. I explained that. Remember the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son? He ran to his son when he wanted to return. I've pleaded for your mercy so I can begin working on me relationship with my sons and you just tell me that I have to go to more meetings before you'll even consider it. Then when I ask how many, you just say 'a number'. Do you have any idea how frustrating and discouraging that is? Any idea at all?"

Elders, "We just want to help you. Go to meetings for a while and we'll talk again then."

"How long!"

Elders now getting irritated, "We told you, 'a number of months'!"

Ah, the love. At the end of the meeting I just felt emotionally and spiritually abused.

wha happened?

Imagine if I introduced a concept, that would convince a mother, to abandon her own child. That no matter what happened to the child, the Mother was just ignore it. No matter how difficult it became for the child, and how easy it would be to provide for the child, the mother would just ignore the desparate needs of their child.

Most in the world would think I was an idiot, babbling about a stupid concept that would serve no real purpose.

00DAD

WH: Most in the world would think I was an idiot, babbling about a stupid concept that would serve no real purpose.

Most would, but not "God's People"

00DAD

I recently had an elder tell me that SHUNNING is proof of love!

I thought, "Really? Why don't you go home and try that sh*t on your wife and see how she goes for it!"

So stupid!!!!!

jaguarbass

When I quit back in 83, I told all my realitives I didnt want anything to do with Jehovahs witnesses any more.

After that they continued to invinte me to all the family get togethers.

Like nothing ever happened. My wife decorates for x-mass and all the holidays

and nothing is said.

I think they realized that the big shots dont follow the rules and they decided they

were not going to follow the rules with my wife and I.

Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

I'm still in, but there are some DF/DA one's in my extended family and I'm expected to act like they don't exist.

I always wondered, besides being DF/DA, why are we not associating with them? They're good people!

Lady Lee

I was DFed in 1985

My JW ex-husband and I had 2 daughters so we were allowed to talk about issues regarding the kids but other than that nothing.

Although there was one time when the kids came over for supper (they were still living with hin) and my boyfriend had to get to the hospital asap. The ex came over and we packed the kids and my bf and I into the car and he drove us to the hospital and then took the kids home (The ex had his appendix out)

When my first grandchild was born we were both at the hospital and in the hallway outside the birthing room. This was almost 10 years after our divorce where I would feel physically ill if I saw him. But at the hospital watching them clean the baby and the baby's father actually let me hold her just minutes after she was born. He was sort of standing back and the sick feeling was gone and I grabbed his arm to come closer. That was a real turning point for me.

It has been a very odd relationship with him. When my sister died he called to offer his condolences and when his mother did I called him. We talked - not about anything big but it was normal conversation. Health, family work, the kids and grandkids

Then a couple of years ago he called me out of the blue and aploigized for how he treated me when we were married. WOW That was a shocker. But I sat here on the phone and wept and thanked him for the call and the apology. In my whole life with all the people who have hurt me he is the only one who ever apologized.

Then there is my mother: she shuns everyone who doesn't do what she wants. So while I am the only one who got baptized she pretty much doesn't have anythign to do with any of us because we have all turned away from the JWs. Now if any of us call she is cordial and will answer brief questions but she doesn't ask.

An example: I git engaged a few years ago. I didn;t want to invite her but the guy thought I really should at least let her know. So we sat together and I called while he held my hand. Not verbaten but you will see how this goes

"Hi mom. I just called to tell you that I am getting married"
Oh that's nice. We are redoing the ceiling in the dining room and shopping around for stuff. I'm getting new curtains and just changing things around a lot. Oh I guess I should ask you what his name is?
"Stewart"
"Did you know I just got back from a trip up north [to her family] It was good to see mom and the family up there?"
Well ok thanks mom. Just thought you might want to know. Bye.

I swear that was the way the conversation went. My fiance was stunned. He never pushed me after that but we eventually split before we got to the wedding.

Then when my first granddaughter was born she didn't come to the hospital. She didn't go see the baby at home after she was borne. One day my daughter was visinting I called her and told her to come. She agreed ---- because the "the girls at work are beginng to think I am weird for not seeing the baby" So she shows up - no present and sits herself down and I pass her the baby - her first great grandchild. She held the baby in two hands in front of her as if she was contaminated and said she was pretty and handed her back to me "the grandmother" Then she sat there and told us how wonderful these kids are that she babysits. She had been ignoring her own grandshildren because they stopped going to meetings 10 years before and she can sit there and go on and on about two stengers that she babysits.

Then when my sister died she actaully did talk to me and my oldest brother (who lived in the same city as my sister) She told him to have her created and give her ashes to my sister's ex-boyfriend for him to scatter somewhere. No funeral. Nothing My sister was already dead in her eyes.

One of her brothers is still a JW. Years ago when his daughter was hit by a car and was in a coma for a few weeks I went to see them and find out how things were going. They were stiff and didn't want me there but wouldn't come out and say it. I didn't care. I was there because it was the right thing to do. Both of his kids are no longer JWs and they are shunned

Another of her brothers was a JW and left a few years ago. She was the maid of honor at my wedding in Winnipeg 11 years ago. I didn't even tell my mother about that one. This uncle had 2 kids, one is still a JW and she shuns her sister and paernts.

Then there is the third uncle who married Mouthy's daughter. He was DFed and we all shunned him. Then they changed the rules so we could talk to people where shunned. I still didn't talk to him because of what he had done to Mouthy's daughter. So I have gained a couple of ex-JW family members

And there is one of my mother'sd sisters who became a JW. Two of her daughters became JWs. The other was DFed. My aunt is sort of on the fence about things but she will not shun her daughter and she doesn't shun me.

Back to the question:

How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?

27 years

Lozhasleft

My heart feels for you Mr Flipper and Lady Lee. And to everyone suffering shunning. There are no words.

Loz x

How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?

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