How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?

by flipper 55 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  I felt with newer members coming on and other JW fence sitters lurking it might be a good thing to explain what many of us have had to go through in regards to being shunned, cut off, ostracized from our JW families in an unjust way . Whether we are DFed or inactive - many of us have shared this same fate and ill treatment. For many of us- it makes us stronger, more firmly entrenched that the decision we made to exit the Jehovah's Witness organization was the correct decision as NO organization that claims to be " Christian " would ever commit such horrid atrocities or justify it !

  Briefly, in regards to myself I stopped attending meetings in 2003. I've been inactive ever since, haven't been DFed in that time, although the elders tried chasing after me aggressively , but I fought them and my DFing was overturned . Only reason I did it was so my elderly JW parents wouldn't shun me and I'd keep the door open to my two adult JW daughters . AS of right now it's been 5 years since I've seen my youngest daughter and 4 years since I've seen my oldest daughter. Rarely if ever do they return my phone calls. I have 2 of my 3 older siblings ( JW's ) who rarely if ever talk to me . One I've spoken to once in 5 years , the other once in two years. My JW parents talk to me and respect my stance and my fade, and I've kept in close contact to my 5 nieces and nephews - 3 of whom are not attending anymore or are inactive for years now themselves .

  I feel I not only have a duty, obligation, but I consider it an honor to be there for my inactive JW nieces and nephews who have consciously made the decision to stop attending JW meetings- as my siblings, their parents won't have much, if anything to do with them. I'm going to keep authentic love alive in my family and hope that the stick in the mud " older " JW's in my family eventually die of natural causes - thus leaving the younger generation to grow as normal human beings with free minds eventually.

  Anyway- that's my story ! So what's your story ? Would love to hear how you folks are dealing with the shunning and how many years you've been shunned. If we all pull together hopefully we can be there for the younger generation of JW's who decide to exit this malicious , hate mongering organization. Take care, hope you all are well. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper
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  flipper

  So I guess everybody's JW relatives treat them just with open arms here ?? ? ?? ? Uh-huh
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  wha happened?

  Looks like it, what a cool religion
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  jookbeard

  I was DA'ed around 1995 apart from my fathers funeral in 2005 I had seen my father, mum and sister perhaps 4 or five times in 10 years, from the time when my kids were born we made 1 visit to my mums place in 2008 so she could see her granddaughter and when my boy was born in 2010 we made another visit, so in almost 20 years we've made contact in less then double figures. Evil bastards.
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  panhandlegirl

  I had been in the orgaization since the age of 4 (1948). I started to fade around 1976-77. Just became disillusioned with the changes in beliefs and the overbearing attitude of the elders and the sisters in the orginaztion.

  I stopped attending meeting in 1976 and was df'd in early 1980s. From what I understand now, there was a purg of those whose faithfulness was in question during those years. I tried not to get df'd because I did not want to

  lose my family. The JC told me I could stay in with the restriction that I could not discuss the Bible with my husband, who had been df'd for smoking. That was too much for me. I value my freedom of speech provided by the US

  Constitution. I said no. I will not comply with that restriction; I will talk to my husband about whatever I want. I was df'd for apostacy. I have been shunned for about 28 years by both my family, my extended family and my

  husband's family. Fortunately, three of my brothers have been out longer than I have. One of my younger brothers was df'd at the age of 17 (1968). The JC told him he had to choose between his friends and the organization. He

  chose his friends. I wish I had left at an early age like he did. My brothers and I support and associate with each other. I have four sisters who shun me. We were close before I was df'd. I have several cousins with whom I was

  also close who also shun me. My family members are elders and district overseers so they are very arrogant towards those of us who are df'd. I have not wasted these years. I made new friends and a new support system.

  I went to the University and now have a BSN and a BA in Spanish. Although I miss my sisters and cousins, I have a good and full life. I see my family only at funerals where they shun me. Although I can say, they did not shun me

  at my mother's funeral and only partly shunned me at my father's funeral. My mother's funeral was held at the KH and my father's at the funeral home where my df'd brother gave my father's eulogy. I feel that the younger

  generation (used in the regular sense) will not accept or put up with the restrictions or nonsense spewed out by the so-called GB/FS. Flipper, I am glad you have your nieces and nephews to both give and receive support from.

  I understand you wanting to be close to your parents. Time goes by fast and time spent with your parents is precious. Peace be with you and all. Panhandlegirl.
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  panhandlegirl

  I have always thought that if my sisters can do without seeing or associating with me (I am the youngest sister), I can do without them. I am just as important as they are!!

  Another thing I would like to add is that when my husband died five years ago, his sister who, had shunned us both, was very supportive. In fact, her whole family, husband, daughter and two df'd sons all came to the funeral.

  Some members of our family are just believers and afarid not to shun us for fear of being df'd themselves. My oldest sister told me "When I see you and don't speak to you, it does not mean that I don't love you. I

  cannot speak to you because of the organization's rules." That is sad. The GB/FS are indeed Evil bastards, our family members, for the most part, are just captives of that greedy corportion disguised as a religion!
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  nugget

  I told my sister in January last year that I was being Df'd for questioning the authority of the GB she has not spoken to me since. I send her anniversary cards and ask after her but I have heard nothing bck from her. She has pressured my mother to shun me and our last conversation had no words of love or regret from her just judgement I was told if I didn't agree with the GB then I deserved to be Df'd. This woman was my sister for 45 years we shared a lot but my love for her was not enough to counter the spite delivered by 7 men in Brooklyn who control the flock by preaching hate of those that question them.

  What is sad is that you cannot defend yourself or explain yourself, all of a sudden people forget who you are and what you are like you become a stereotype. I am an apostate so must be mentally diseased, I must have poor morals and be the darkest and most evil person she knows. There is no common sense in this but then there is no God in the process either. This is like having some tabloid spread viscious rumours about you but you are unable to comment or take legal remedy, people read it and believe it.

  My time in this is short and I can but hope that things will change. I'm hoping the ICAS conference in London will give me somne useful ideas for connecting with relatives such as my sister.
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  panhandlegirl

  What is the ICAS conference? I still don't understand some of the lingo spoken here?
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  cantleave

  Panhandled girl

  Read this

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/social/current/224025/1/ICSA-Special-One-Day-Event-e2809cSharing-Experiences-to-Assist-Others-e2809d
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  ~Jen~

  My family is uber strict. I have seen them twice since I was DF'd almost 3 years ago. Once I ran into them in public and another time at a funeral where I was completely shunned by them (in front of all my non-jw family who I have never had anything to do with my whole life - they showed love of course). They all refused to talk to me but enjoyed staring - my mom, my dad, brothers,etc :) What loving people!