What kind of Congregation did you attend ?

by av8orntexas 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • av8orntexas
    av8orntexas

    English ? Spanish ? French ? Perhaps another foreign language ? Rural ? Big City ? Suburban ? Large/small in attendance ?

    Did you notice a big difference in views ?

    I tasted the whole buffet I guess you can say. I started off in an overcrowded english inner-city congregation in Boston. Moved to Texas and into a large rural english congregation. From there I moved into a suburban congo also english. Towards the end I followed a friend and his wife ( whose native language is spanish ) to the spanish congo where not knowing the language, I faded. There where other reasons why I faded,but the language barrier made it much easier and faster.

    I notice in the inner-city, it's very hard for young ones to stay in the organization. In Boston the KH was located in one of the more violent parts of the city. It was all african-american. Hearing gun shots during the meeting where not uncommon. One night we witnesses an all out bar fight that spilled in the street right acros from the hall. Kids ragging on you and clowning you. Up there we would walk 10-15 city blocks to get to the hall in our suits. I would go with my aunt and cousins back then and the kids along the way would be brutal. Calling us church boys,etc. The pressure to fit in in the city,or keep kids off your back is tremendous. I found most people in the congregation in the innercity were more concerned with making it from one day to the other. Over time, I notice most in Boston have fallen away. Drugs,kids, or just stopped going. Boston is not big,you could probably go out and do stuff without getting caught. Yet, small enough that you could be out downtown or on the train and run into brothers or sisters from time to time. Safe to say it was a liberal congregation as far as dress and most other things. Hip hop and some rap would be nothing to hear at a gathering or cookout. Very few young people my age, boys or girls. College ? I don't think most had the money. Being so close to bethel I knew of no brothers who had that in their plans. As far as pioneers. Mostly older sisters and very few in the congregation.

    Moved to Texas to a rural congregation and it was rather large 120-140. Night and day difference from Boston. There were 3 cities that made up that area. The largest was probably 28k people. The smallest 10k. I found this congregation to be very conservative. Everyone worked at the local chemical plant which pays pretty good. In such a small town if your parents worked there,then you were 'IN' with most of the other dub kids. As they knew your dad made some good $$$. In my case it took me regular pioneering before I felt accepted. Myself and my good friend were the only two black guys in the congo. Everyone joked he was the whitest black guy they knew. He knew all the country line dancing moves and all. He liked blondes too, and I would get the feeling some older brothers didn't like that. He eventually married a dutch sister from amersterdam. Witht he rest of the congregation he was pretty conservative. I will say when it was us ?? Hahahahahaha we'd cut up,listen to michael jackson 'Dance Machine', 'James Brown, some R&B, a little hip hop and stuff most others in the congregation probably didn't listen to. It was primarily white, followed by a number of hispanic families, and probably 3 black familes out of the 120 publishers. I liked it though. It was were I regular pioneered and probably did most of my progressing in da troof, hahahaha. EVERYONE pioneered. There were probably a good 15 of us boys/girls all young teens. Most everyone aux pioneered during high school. Most all of us regular pioneered after high school. And with the exception of the other black brother and I, every single brother went to Bethel. It was like 6 of a possible 7,8 of us guys. The peer pressure in this congregation was to be UBER J-Dub. I was all for becoming an MS,but had no desires to go to bethel. In this hall you either went to Bethel,pioneered,or got married. What else was there to do around there ? hahahahaha. For such a small area, there were LOTS of other young kids. I will say there was a HUGE group of teens in that area of the circuit. A grad party or gathering could always be counted on. Usually by some getting married. It was here I went through my C&W period in life. George strait,jOHN Michael Montgomery, and a whole bunch of other people I couldn't name now. I got into that because what I really liked,most in the congregation would surely think me to be weak. Thus I had to listen to stuff I didn't like in service. A song I liked would come on and someone would change the channel. I'd have to hide my excitement when it came on. Here I made most of my friends I know now. Some one FB. Some seem very liberal...I dare not ask if they still go,because I actually like them of the ones I have kept in touch with.

    Left that hall and moved to suburban houston. A nice area I guess one could say. I found most in the hall to be what witnesses call materialistic. A few with some really nice houses. Most had a great job to match. In this hall unlike the last, 4 year college wasn't bashed much. I think because a few on the elder body had gone to some major universities themselves. And some worked in Oil and Gas. Here I didn't fit in all. Neither did my mom. I think being a reg pioneer in the previous congo, the friends readily accepted my mom more and she too was invited to things. Namely because I wqs doing well in the truth, her being a single mom. Here....we had no money,lived in a small apartment, and def didn't live in one of the nicer subdivisions like others. I felt like furniture here. Someone or thing people in the hall would walk past without a single hello. Friends would ask, "Where do you live ?". Most when they found out,didn't have much else to say when they found out.Shortly after I got their I remember the CO the congregation wasn't even luke warm,but 'cool' I'd say that was about right. People seemed to go through the motions,but to me it seemed all for show. This is where I regressed. I began to see witneses for who and what they really are. Parties / Wild. Music ? Pretty much anything. I remember at my first gathering at that congregation they played a certain song and I asked. 'You all are going to dance to that ?" To me it was so much more liberal and confusing. I thought alot of stuff we weren't supposed to do as JW's. Here a met a brother who at one time became my best friend. He was pretty much the only guy I hung out with. We bothed like aviation and thus thats how we became close. Eventually he moved to the spanish due to his wife wanted to be close to family.

    Which brings me to my last hall. The Spaanish Congregation. I thought I could go where the need was great, and EVERYONE says they need brothers ! they need brothers ! I picked it up a little quickly. I gave my first talk in about a month and half, thought I was doing good. I also like dthe the sisters. I thought the spanish sisters dressed alot more provacative than their english counterparts, though I liked them all the same,ahahahahaha. The elders in spanish seemed a bit more serious. Def into the bible. They didn't eem to joke much to me. I will say as a whole, the spanish congregation felt much,much,much warmer. I did feel like I was part of their family. They would try to include you whether you had something or not. I thought their gathering were more lively. They danced to EVERY SINGLE song. But when they aid party over at 10...it was over at 10. In spanish like other cultures outside the US, cursing on TV and in movies didn't seemed to bother them. Family was closer in spanish I think. Lot more kids at home in their late 20's early 30's. Especially sisters. Pretty sisters,but they were waiting for yhe right brother. I can only think of one or two people who came over from english to that hall and were actually commenting,progressing and going foward. I had two brothers ask me if I was there looking for a sister. The last time I got that question I told the brother. 'Yeah...do you have any sisters ?" I hsted that. I had been making one last push to reach out in english before coming to spanish. I had to start all the way over i spanish,so my thinking was I'm not killing myself for a sister. I did meet a sister. She slept with her ex and dumped me. That began my fade. I stopped the book study. I'd miss one or two. Then maybe a week or two. Alot of times missing so many I was ashamed to go back because everyone would give you that look. Then my theorcratic ministry school went next. Followed by missing sunday meetings. Being that I could barely communicate I think most thought I went back to english and vice versa. In the end I realized no one really cared. I felt like I knew who were real friends and weren't. And here I am. My cards are in spanish, and that was the last congregation I ever attended

    In all, I feel alot of congregations are a product of the surrounding area more than anything. The witnesses in that local hall take on the personality of their location or territory in my opinion. Some halls are super conservative. Some super liberal. Some moderate. To me it's like they all adhere to watchtower teaching. But in their very own way or ways. It was that fact that made me question things. In a way everything was uniform with the societies way of doing things....yet it was not.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    Lets see started off at a rural hall. With Bethelites. Near the Farm as it was called. The 80's and start of 90's it was a family hall. Fun, loving hall about 80 of us. The Farm revamped and we ended up getting more Bethelites then non. Not a good thing! They were tight ass JW's with no time to help the congregation. It became all work no fun.

    We split - not a good call on some CO that liked to split halls.

    We became a Bethel congregation with all the rules that it comes with.

    Moved to a city congregation with the same Farm Bethelites. They were out of touch with life and I hated it.

    Moved to a rural area in WV that again was a "family" feel.... that is until you wake up and become the local apostate

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    For much of my life our hall was a Bethel congregation as well. I would say somewhere between rural/suburban.

    My "interaction" with our bethel PO in my early twenties should have been my wakeup call. A cuntrolling, manipulative, fat asshole.

    Also another very strong minded Elder/Elderette duo who held sway for YEARS- until he got disfellowshipped. That was actually pretty hilarious. He was the elder who always gave a detailed local needs right after someone was disfellowshipped about what deviant sexual misconduct they had committed. Another asshole.

    Why in the hell did I ever get baptized?

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George
    I had two brothers ask me if I was there looking for a sister. The last time I got that question I told the brother. 'Yeah...do you have any sisters ?" I hated that.

    Classic!!!! LOL Reminds me of the old Ice Cube song, "Get Off My #$## and Tell Yo B##$# To Come Here!"

    That began my fade. I stopped the book study. I'd miss one or two. Then maybe a week or two. Alot of times missing so many I was ashamed to go back because everyone would give you that look. Then my theorcratic ministry school went next. Followed by missing sunday meetings. Being that I could barely communicate I think most thought I went back to english and vice versa. In the end I realized no one really cared. I felt like I knew who were real friends and weren't. And here I am. My cards are in spanish, and that was the last congregation I ever attended

    I don't know if it can be said or not, but this sounds like the perfect way to fade!! I think you just provided me with a blueprint!!! On a serious note, I don't think it's with malice that JWs show a lack of interest in one that's fading to the point of negatively stating who is and who isn't your friend, although don't get me wrong as I defintately get what you're saying. I think it's simply the way the organization has everybody on this hamster wheel. You really don't have that much time to worry about someone falling off the radar because you're so paranoid about your own so called spirituality which really means your own standing, in other words what other dubs think about you.

    I can relate to you on the music thing and expanding your tastess. I'm glad I got exposed to rural and suburban white dudes as it opened me up to some great music. About a month ago out in field service I was working with a 50ish white brother and he's a little bit of a burn out. He was a convert, but he was one of those long sideburn, long hair muttonchops rock-n-roll type fellas in his youth before he converted to JWs. After a householder told us that he wasn't interested in the literature and closed the door, before walking off the porch, dude started playing air guitar immitating Back In Black by AC/DC. I'm glad to say that I was exposed to that kind of music so that I could relate to the emotions he was expressing about that kind of music.

    The congregation I'm at right now, I feel really lonely, and a lot of it has to do with what I know and what I've come to believe. Some days I'm sorry I ever came to this site or FreeMinds, or ever heard of Ray Franz. It wouldn't have been so bad had I been able to leave the religion without any major fallout. As of now I feel like an enemy agent and at times it leaves me hollow, like who am I and where do I belong. A couple people close to me in the hall know I'm flirting with the idea of going to another congregation and they've made it clear that the hall won't be the same without me. Whether that's just talk, I don't know. I view it as one monkey doesn't stop the show. My plan is to resign, transfer to another hall, and mind my business.

    In the meantime though, our congregation is really diverse with equal amounts of white and black. Plenty of children and a couple babies which is nice because it adds life to the congregation. For the longest we didn't have any children, nor any teenagers, now we have a plethora of kids, still not too many teenagers, but some preteens. Our pioneers are pretty chill with a couple gung-ho arrogant types, the elder body is pretty old and unmotivated, the Ministerial Servants are content to remain Servants, and even the baptized males have made it clear that they're not really interested in becoming Servants. I don't know what to think somedays, it's a congregation in flux, but I can say with certainty that it will be around for a long time, just like the organization. The only question is in what form? I hope not to be around to say.

    We've got some attractive sisters in our hall, and a couple of them are on that "waiting for the perfect brother" nonsense. The funny thing is they'll be waiting a long time which I getta kick out of. One in particular used to slighly insult me prior to becoming an elder. She'd make little passive aggressive comments and I'd insult her in kind. People used to joke with me that she had a thang for me which was proposterous to me because that's the way middle schoolers show their attraction. Ya know how it is in 7th grade, you want cop a feel, but at the same time you're not above beating her up either. That doesn't pass until around your early years in high school when you can't beat up bully girls anymore. Anyway, this girl left our congregation for a while to serve where the need is greater. In the meantime, I reached out, got appointed and was doing ok. A little afterwards, she came back, and you know she treats me like God's gift now? Real nice to me, soft spoken, it's really unsettling to say the least.

    This is a strange organization.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    nazi congregation

  • sooner7nc
    sooner7nc

    Hillbilly congregation.

  • TOTH
    TOTH

    When my folks were first brought into the borg we lived in a VERY small town in Northern NM. The overlords were all related to each other by marriage at least. All were Spanish speakers but the congo was in English. Back then they had an intermission between the Sunday talk and washtowel study so they could all smoke. The overlord who brought my folks in and rented us an apartment with a store front hit my mom with a shovel because she asked why all teh apartments water was being billed through OUR water meter. So we left.

    Moved to Albuquerque in the early 70's and we found a Spanish congo. The overlords were also related. The two main ones were brothers but they also had a couple of cousins in the body and a brother in law. When they needed a vote to break a stalemate they used their DAD as an HONORARY elder to get their way. My folks got tired of their crap especially after 1975 and we moved to an English speaking congo. More crap so we went back to the Spanish then back and forth again until we moved.

    We moved to the SeaTac area and went to an English hall. Never really fit in and we were only there for about 6 months before we moved to CA.

    Here in CA we ran the gauntlet again between English and Spanish. HATED ALL OF THE CONGOS.

    All in all they were backward and controlling people from day one.

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    Most of my life I went to a English speaking Suburban Hall outside of Cleveland back in the 70's.

    We always shared a hall.

    Half of the time I was a witness we had piano players, they didnt use records or tapes. I left in 83, I dont think they used cd's yet.

    Back in the 60's and 70's the kingdom hall had lots of picnics and get togethers. In the 60's we even had the Sunday public talk

    outside at one of the friends houses to take advantage of the nice wheather.

    The friends got together and played softball, football and basketball often.

    Back in the 60's I played guitar in a band with the friends. The bass player was the overseers son. We practiced in his basement a lot

    Back in the 60's there wasnt a body of elders, there was just the overseer. At least thats how I remeber it as an adolescent.

    I have some good memories being a witness back in the 50's and 60's, about 50/50.

  • Iamallcool
    Iamallcool

    nosey congregation

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    Two Country congregation - alot of crazy, older women who were a peppercorn shy of a pizza. Pedophile went undetected in congregation for years.

    One Lusty 1970's congregation - alot of people disfellowshipped and congregation fell apart due to wife swapping, adultery, and other "free love" era activities right as 1975 ushered out.

    One Preppy upper class congregation - beautiful people with good jobs and homes, trying to not "appear" materialistic as they drove convertibles and lived in nice houses. The youth were wild when away from the congregation, some of them. Drinking, sex, drinking, sex, drinking, guns, crazy driving, guns kept in gloveboxes to point at other drivers. The grown men were drunks, wife beaters, and one pedophile. One grown man was a chiropractor/doctor. Another was a well respected businessman, who later went bust for fraud and breaking the law. Some crazy old bats (old sisters), and some super poor pioneers to fill the ranks.

    Skeeter

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