by cedars 92 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I have learned, from what others do in the cult, ...being honest, heart-felt, only belongs to your significant other, and whom ever "god" you worship "ONLY".
Everything else is to "play the con" just like the very people "who run the con" in the WTBTS. Fake time and lie, and make the occasional appearance when needed.
It is all a lie, "THAT IS THE REALITY"
I think much of it can come down to how suddenly you stop going and what reasons you give, as well as the position you held before becoming inactive.
If you fade gradually and don't talk about any disagreements with the organization you are perhaps less likely to be shunned than if you stop suddenly and let it be known to any extent that you no longer believe it one hundred percent.
dozy I think those three factors were working against you 1) you were an elder 2) you stopped fairly suddenly and 3) you did talk to a few people about your doubts. That's just an attempt at an explanation, not in any way and excuse for the crap way your family have treated you. They should be ashamed of themselves.
I am being shunned by those who are aware I no longer go to meetings.
Amelia xxx
"Bad association spoils useful habits.." + "witnesses who don't preach aren't real JWs" = shun policy
this sort of mentality allows wts to get away with murder and these people don't mind disown their own families for the sake of the cult and the leaders they know nothing about. Future cannot look good for those on the inside and those with families on the inside as longer the system continues the more ridiculous noo lite GB will introduce.
"Pre-emptive shunning" another word that some have used is "snubbing" . If a person is in a grey area
1) not attending meetings 2) no field service 3) not seen at social gatherings ... wedding, farewells
4) most of all not at CO visits and Memorial.
So due to the fear of not knowing which "pigeon hole" to put you in... they play it safe and snubb you.
"If in doubt leave them out ! " One elderly "sister "once said "if you don't witness you're not a Jehovah's Witness"
Also as Phizzy said..
"I think the subliminal hints in the WT literature, and the words of C.O's etc go in to the subconscious of the average dub and they think it is already a WT directive. hence it is quite a widespread practice" ~~~ phizzy
Pre-emptive shunning? As in people avoiding you even before an "official" pronouncement has been made on you (disfellowshipped, dissassociated, reproof)?
There is, or at least was an official JW policy called "marking". In which, or so the talk explained, if you see somebody. Hmm, how can I explain this? If you see somebody who's not exactly breaking rules that get you disfellowshipped, but isn't exactly living up to the high standards the Watchtower lays out for you, you can, if you want, "mark" them. You avoid them and more or less treat them like they're disfellowshipped so as to avoid being corrupted by them.
In the talk about my brother and myself, they mentioned lifting weights, worldly dress or hair styles, going to see rock music concerts, watching R-rated movies, and others. I don't think they were all about us (so far as they knew anyway...), but maybe some general pet peeves that some were doing and others were against.
I transcribed that talk from a recording. If I still have the recording, I might be able to turn it into an MP3 and post a link to it sometime or else I'll post the talk in text form.
Anyway, this "pre-emptive shunning" term is new to me. If you made it up, it sounds like marking and you may want to reword the question to something that's JW-speak so that more will understand the meaning. IF marking is still done.
jws - yes, "pre-emptive shunning" is my own made up expression to describe the practice of shunning an inactive person even before they have been disciplined for any wrongdoing by their congregation. I feel the survey question above conveys what I am describing fairly clearly enough for people to understand it, and the fact that it is getting so many votes would seem to back that claim up. Marking is something entirely different, as I am well aware. You do realise that we are allowed to make up our own terms for things now that we are beyond the control of the Society?!
Cedars
slimboyfat - I would agree that "how you go" tends to impact on the scale of shunning you experience. Like many, when I became inactive I wrongly assumed that I should be transparent with close friends and let them know about my decision personally. Such faulty reasoning arguably got me in more trouble than if I had simply kept quiet and not said anything.
leavingwt - yes, I agree that pre-emptive shunning (AKA avoiding bad association) has been a feature of life in the organization for many decades.
Cedars
my mum tries hard to never miss on Sundays. Shes just too 'busy' to go on Thurdays and by weekends shes tired (hasnt gone to field service for more than 5 years). Otherwise shes still convinced shes in the truth and insists i stick in BUT always tells me 'dont see the zelouse people in the cong. And get discouraged. (cuz i COMPlETLY STOPPED EVERYTHN on just a blink of an eye). Jehovah looks in the heart'.........(sometimes i wonder if she realy beleives inthe WT anyway).............She always 'feels sorry' for the 'good kids' in the cong cuz they would 'pass her' without 'greeting her'. She just says ''i wonder if their parents teach them that. As if i'm disfellowshipped. They need a bible study once again. Or maybe as they get experienced they'l change''. I feel sorry for her....................now after i found out all these, next time i'l just tell her 'mom if u realy want to be treated 'like in the old days', 'go back inthe old ways'.................in the mean time i'm trying to make my mom see things but damn that woman is tighter than the elders' wives
Pre-emptive shunning: nothing new. It's called "Marking". It's done even in the congregation with active JWs. If you don't behave within the accepted norms of JW behavior, you are in line for group punishment. Social interaction is kept to a minimum.
When you go inactive, you will be marked much the same way. Social interaction is kept to a minimum. The longer you stay inactive, the more they avoid you. In time, you are seen as "fallen away" and they'll even go to the extreme of true shunning. You have shown by your actions that you are no longer a faithful JW, therefore you are not worthy of them any longer.
