hi.. new here.. (page 4)

InterestedOne

If you can keep the discussion from getting out of control, i.e. don't argue, it might not hurt to just ask out of curiosity whether he was born into the JW's, or if his involvement with them came later in life - if so, how did it happen. I asked my JW acquaintance about it, and I think for a moment it allowed her to access her pre-cult personality, even though she still described things through her current JW goggles.

elderelite

Welcome kendel. Im actually still a jw myself (temporarily).... As i recall that talk was this weeks bible reading on the theocratic school. He is not an elder, prob not a servant either. And if he had any typemof romantic relationship with you then he was not a "hard core" JW, but guilty feelings over that relationship may well be what drove him to the cult closer. You have a chance to explore this but you really need more understanding. Some basoc and honest question about HIS views of the religion will be very usefull. You dont have to pry deeply, but during one of your 10 phone calls a day, as the conversation turns to personalthings , ask about the meeting. Ask if he enjoyed it, maybe how many times a week he goes to "church" and see what the responses are. As he talks, if he seems drawn out by it all, maybe ask how long he has a JW and see what details there are to be had. The infomation gained will have a huge impact on the insight that we, from limited outside knowledge, will be able to offer you.

Gayle

okay,,also, some born-in/raised in JWs leave the association, thinking it is too hard for them or they have doubts/unanswered questions,,then some accept that, (because of fear tactic of JW world,) that the former JW along with all other non-JWs, 99+% of the world will be destroyed 'soon' at Armageddon. Some former JWs in their mind accept they'll no doubt be destoyed. However, you said your friend has a son. There comes the flip, he now probably feels a big responsibility about the son in this. See, he has been taught that all children of unbelievers will be destroyed also by their loving??? god. While the parent may accept that their god will destroy them, no parent, will want their child to be destroyed. Now, the 'hook' of JWism re-positions itself.

Also, if your relationship is growing into the "love" factor in his mind, he will also feel a big responsibility that your life needs to be 'rescued' from the world also. Ironically, I have seen a few times, where the man married the girl, got her into the JWs, later he goes through the 'revolving door' phenonemon again, leaving the organization again, and also leaving the now JW loyal wife, & kids.

So, please, be careful not to give an inch to that religion, in any way, certainly, not for the sake of a relationship. The organization has many "hooks," one leading on to another, and to hundreds, thousands. It will never slow or stop its demands of you.

kendall21

You have a chance to explore this but you really need more understanding. Some basoc and honest question about HIS views of the religion will be very usefullI w

they have changed..his views.. and ive seen them change... I will ask him more questions sometime soon im sure.. but i just want to learn as much as i can before getting into that and not understanding..and then him realizing that i think its a cult.. so while of course i could open it up right this minute and talk to him about it.. im just not ready.. what through me for a loop was that he was actually speaking at those meetings.. made me think maybe i should find a way to help him see its a cult. or if i should just leave it be and see if he gets deeper into it

if your relationship is growing into the "love" factor in his mind, he will also feel a big responsibility that your life needs to be 'rescued' from the world
that i will keep in mind.. and there is NO swaying me into it now.. not after what ive read.. which is the big reason why i need to understand even more before i start to question.. he'll read into me questioning it right away, he is very good at knowing what im thinking.. so at the moment im basically avoiding it

FatFreek 2005

Hi Kendall21,

so my next question is... idk .. im not sure what to do next.. after starting to read CoC its like .. i want to show that to him.. but at the same time i dont want him to push me away thinking im trying to change him or something.... cause im not.. its just ugh.. reading things in here and in that book.. idk what im getting myself into now..I love him very much..so i dont want to lose what we have now.. what would be your opinion on sharing it..

You've had a wealth of good suggestions already. I agree that sharing CoC right now is probably not going to fall on welcome ears.

Here's an 11 minute read, THE GREAT WATCHTOWER CONTRADICTION, that is actually geared for informing new ones about something they would never learn until they're too deeply involved -- information that he may understand someone in your position would come across in your internet browsing. It has some 25 Watchtower literature citations that are quite embarrasing to members so it would be good if he already has his own Watchtower library CD so that he can look them up for verification (cuz he won't believe them if you simply told him).

Wishing you the very best,

Len

Black Sheep

I have privacy issues with Google. Any chance of posting it in another format, Len?

wannabefree

As has been said already, if he is a born and raised on-again off-again Witness, this has been ingrained very deep into his psyche. If he is already baptized and has family and friends in the religion, this is another strong hold on him.

you said ...

he'll read into me questioning it right away, he is very good at knowing what im thinking

That is why you have to be very careful. Most JW's are very familiar with the account of Satan tempting Eve in the Garden of Eden. He did it by asking her leading questions, leading her down his line of thinking. If he has JW deep in his mind and he reads into your questioning, his defenses will be strong, he will associate your questioning as trying to trick him, to take him away from Jehovah just like Satan did to Eve.

You have to ... as quoted from the New World Translation ... prove yourselves cautious as serpents and yet innocent as doves. (Matthew 10:16)

Until he recognizes on his own that the religion is a cult, you must be innocent in his eyes, your questioning has to appear sincere, otherwise you are playing the role Satan did in the Garden of Eden.

FatFreek 2005

Hi Black Sheep,

Any chance of posting it in another format, Len?

If you are talking about a format different than PDF, probably not. I am on fixed income and use limited packages -- Open Office is my current writer of choice. It's free, of course. Exporting from that to PDF is quite good as well as it retains embedded hyperlinks for less clutter. It also faithfully expresses all features that I feel I must have -- footnotes, endnotes, superscripting, embedded graphics, tables, etc.

As to my choice of Google docs, that was done back in June, 2011. Till then I was uploading the PDF directly to Mediafire a different and free site. Then I was shocked when I went to upload revision number 6. I would have had to use their professional store at an annual rate which I felt was steep.

Both Mediafire and Google docs boast a count feature, also free. I can track how many times a document is downloaded -- and when. To me, that's important.

As an aside, revisions to me are also important. This doc is on rev 17 for various reasons -- graphics added here and there, clarification improvement, grammar, etc. Revisions should, in my opinion, be made to the document while still retaining the original link. Mediafire boasted this feature but did not disclose their limit of 5 updates for their free service. Google, on the other hand, has no limit so that's what I chose as the current host.

As to Google's own PDF format, that is an option that I decline for every upload. They will accept PDF's as you generate them. While I don't especially like those thumbnail pages on the left, that's a small concession.

As to your mention of security with Google, that is another matter -- and one in which I must plead ignorance. Please tell us about that problem as I don't wish to lack security nor do I wish readers of my essays to suffer from same.

Len

extractor

Hi Kendall21. Just my 2 cents...

Cent #1: There is a much greater chance you will get sucked into this cult than you will have the ability to get him out.

Cent #2: If you still want to try, don't do anything until after literally months of research. And during your research, remember EVERYTHING you're reading from the Jehovah's Witness organization is very deceptive and they use very tried and true mind control methods. This thing has ruined the lives of a lot of well-meaning people. www.JWFacts.com, www.4jehovah.net, www.towerwatch.com could help.

CAUTION.

steve2

Hi kendall21, Your emotionally deep attachment to this man reveals how torn you must be feeling about his attachment to the JW organization. You say he was raised in it and drifted away for a while but has now returned. Uh - oh! He won't like you pooping your smelly things into his re-tidied nest. He'll already have his own story about how he left and has now returned. Pressure will be on him to perform his little JW behaviors in the Kingdom Hall and beyond. Has he tried to talk you into the religion? I look into my special crystal ball and all I see when I think of you with this man is Pain, Frustration and Misery.

You aren't the first woman who has secretly plotted to change "her" man, and you won't be the last. I want to tell you to cut your losses and fade from his life but your attachment to him is such that you probably would consider the Pain, Frustration and Misery worth it. Good luck.

hi.. new here..

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