by kendall21 44 Replies latest members private
You will see a book often referred to here called "Releasing the Bonds : Empowering People to Think for Themselves" ... you have to treat him very carefully, this is a cult, if he believes it is true he will become very defensive, you should try to find subtle ways to get him to think and question, the book mentioned is a great tool in this process for you, not for him, to read.
http://www.amazon.com/Releasing-Bonds-Empowering-People-Themselves/dp/0967068800
Also, of course, this site is a treasure trove of information, read read read.
If you aren't a Witness, the truth of the matter is, to a JW you are a "worldly" person. If you do not become a JW, you will die at Armageddon ... soon. No matter how nice you may be, you are bad association for the simple fact that you are not a JW. JW's call their religion "God's Organization", "The Truth" everything else is under the control of the devil ... seriously. You, if you try to openly expose the falsehood of his faith, will be considered a tool of the devil.
Thanks wannabefree.. Ill go get that book now.. soo much reading ive been doing on this my head is spinning
he does belive it is true.. that is the scary part.. he is one of the best debaters i know.. just naturally.. so ik this wont be easy.. and he does become very defensive very easily...just his natural way.. or maybe that was brought on because of his involvelment in jw..idk
Hi kendall21 - I was never a JW, but I became acquainted with one because we had mutual interests, I did a lot of work for her at her business, and I was also interested in her romantically - I never found out whether or not she had any interest in me because she just said she was waiting for the "new system" to even think about any kind of romantic relationship. She told me about her beliefs, so I investigated JW's for myself. I made a really big mistake though - I told her the information I was finding and where I was getting it from. She said, "I know you read a lot of apostate sites. Are you really interested in learning about JW's or just verifying apostate claims?" She totally shut down once she learned that I was reading apostate information. Just letting you know since your friend might have a similar reaction if you tell him where you are getting your information. Basically, what some experienced people on here have advised is to not attempt to -tell- a JW anything. They don't take kindly to being told anything since they are taught that they are the teachers and are doing everyone a favor by telling the world how things really are.
if you are interested in something more than a friendship with this person, best advice is to move on, this religion is hard to get out of the head, it is definately a battle and not an easy one at that ... its probably easier for you to get sucked in
hey interested..
yeah.. i am ... and i guess i wish i knew all this at the begining.. cause its hard to just turn off feelings at this point.. and we own a company together now as well.. so i cant just run for the hills..lol ..
we've had a really wierd releationship from the begining.. he does have feelings for me as well.. he has told me..but we live in different cities etc.. not major issues..but enough that we had left it to biz/friendship, though its always kinda there.. ... granted we talk to each other about 10 times a day everyday as well.. so now finding out more about jw I guess i see a bit of why..
EXACTLY what InterestedOne said. JW's have "The Truth", they are trained to teach it, to get around conversation stoppers, to use select scriptures to answer just about any question, they do not think anybody who is not a Witness can offer them any true teaching about God, the Bible, faith ... etc. You really have to find a way to question him, very subtly, patiently, usually very drawn out, months ... years even ... he has to initially think he is discovering for himself that things don't seem right before he will start trusting non-Witness sources of religious information.
The key for me was finally getting to a place mentally that I allowed myself to question "the faithful and discreet slave", this is the wall that would always stop me from doubting the religion, once that wall was breached, the Watchtower crumbled for me. This group, ultimately represented by "The Governing Body", is the control of the religion.
You have an advantage since you are not a Witness if you can keep it cool and he thinks your questions are genuine interest. If you want to understand, he will want to help you understand, key will be to get past the fluff teachings and into the organization, questioning it, its origin, why you should believe it is God's, to prove it to you. Be careful, you may get yourself indoctrinated.
You should really ask yourself if this guy is worth it. He will become defensive with you if you question his beliefs. Try and take it slow though
Also something to consider ... have you fallen for his cult identity or what exists of his genuine identity ... if you get the cult out of him, he may not be the person you thought he was
