jwfacts,
You situation hits close to home. I too, find myself torn sometimes on what to do, keep the peace or put outsiders in their place. In addition to all of this, my wife is in and active (though waffling). This makes things difficult in our household when religion is involved. I recently told her that I did not want my oldest going to one of her JW friend's house for before and after care and she got real upset. Accusing me of illegally discriminating against her for religion, etc.. I too want my kids to be exposed to a variety of things and people without being hamstrung by all that JW baggage.
The advice here is good but as you know only you can know how to apply it. At least your wife is on the same page with you (at least that is what I gather). That helps a lot in more ways than you can ever know. As far as how you are raising your kids and teaching them about religion and God all I can say is that reflecting on my own childhood, the lack of religion in our household did not matter much. I look at my own childhood and the things I thought I wanted and find myself thinking that there does not seem to be any one way that is best to raise kids. Lots of people here were raised as witnesses and later left, my wife raised as a witness and is waffling because she is not being true to herself, I was raised by parents who believed in God but did not actively go to church. In our family, I got the religion bug and joined a cult at 21, my sisters are not into religion at all, and my brother is an atheist.
I think I can safely say that my wife and I share many things in common regarding faith and being a decent moral person who wants to help others. We just disagree on our ways for expressing these things. We all want what is best for our kids but there is no instruction manual to help us navigate around the pitfalls. I just do my best and be there for them as much as I can be. I wish you all the best.