You have made some wonderful contributions to our understanding. You found the man who could caste out the fat demons. You brought us brother Bach and his inspired "Illusions". You also saw the evil numbers of the GB 2/3rd's. (666 if the rest of you didn't get it) Truly, truly, and verily, verily you have brought us closer to that perfect day.
We have one problem, brother Thinker, we called ourselves the Heresy of the Month and the Month is almost over. I think we are going to have to redefine what a month is, otherwise it's curtains for us. RedHorseWoman is right behind us wanting to start her Goddess of the month heresy. (Actually, I wouldn't mind worshiping her even if she wasn't thin.) She is all excited about this thing, because next month is her birthday. Maybe, we could ask her to wait til a year from February. After all, we haven't sold all of our Leaning Tower and Asleep magazines yet. Plus, there are several other subjects I wanted to see in our second issue of the magazines, such as:
Are Orgies Scriptural?
Should JWs deliver the mail to save tax dollars?
Why Bill Gates Last Hair Cut Fullfills Bible Prophecy.
Why The Word Beaver Should Never Be Used Outside Of A Wilderness Area.
Is It Scriptural To Exchange Gun Fire With Your Next Door Neighbor?
Will Celebrating The Memorial Turn You Into An Alchoholic?
Shoud You Go Out In Service After Midnight?
Why Both Peace And War Are The Sign Of The End.
If Someone Is So Fat That They Have Their Own Zip Code, Should They Be Disfellowshipped?
Well, when RedHorseWoman sees all the fine articles we have in mind, I think she will give our Heresy a stay of execution. That's the kind of Goddess she is.
I have some sad news to announce. Brother Henry died of starvation last week. He was a true pioneer in the thinness Heresy, and I know that he will go on to a better place.
Brother Thinker, I appologize for not giving my all lately. I was filled with overwhelming guilt. I hate admit this in front of the whole congregation, but well....I ate a cookie.