When was the first time...

by OneDayillBeFree 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • OneDayillBeFree

    you ever went on JWN?

    Do you remember? What made you do it? Where you scared? Why did you do it? Curiousity? Anger? Was it planned or random? Did you give it much thought? Were you a JW or already out? Did any of you come in here at first defending the Watchtower and then slowly changing your mind after you realized the truth about the "truth"? Has it changed? Have any of you met any posters in person? Did you make any friends here? How long do you plan to stay?

    I remember the first time I found JWN. It was during a circuit assembly in 2010. I was working in the sound department and was in the back not paying any attention to the speaker, like many others around me. Except I had already heard the talk like 3 times from other Circuit assemblies I had attended because of a new arrangement of recording the entire Assembly and no one else seemed to know what the hell to do or was just to lazy to do it so they picked me and a couple other brothers to do the job. It still makes me laugh though the way elders and MS try so hard to be in a department where they'll be forced to miss out on most if not all of the "spiritual banquet that Jehovah has prepared" for them.

    Any way, I remember being in complete shock that the D.O literally screamed at the sound department just because he couldnt hear his voice loud enough in the audience. Yet every one could hear him just fine it was just that there was only one monitor speaker on stage and the brother was I guess a little hard of hearing. I was coming back from the backstage "VIP" bathroom when I heard the following words that marked a change in the way I saw all leadership in the Watchtower; "NO YOU will SHUT UP and listen to me now! You will NEVER have another "privilege" in any assembly if you keep this up! These brothers have to hear MY WORDS from MY talk! Dont you see that its the MOST important one in the WHOLE assembly! YOU are not doing your job! I dont EVER want to See any of you EVER again in any position after this assembly and Ill make DAMN sure you are never used again while I am here."

    Yup thats right, he said Damn. Believe it or not.

    Funny thing is, I never saw him again after that Assembly. He moved or died or something. But the reason that it shocked me so much was that this D.O was considered to be one of the MOST kind and calm brothers who was just sooo loving and caring above all and was "CLEARLY" sent by Jehovah to take care of his flock.

    Well what a bunch of Bull Shit that was!

    I was already beginning to have some doubts that where placed like dirty clothes all over the room of my conscience that I just kept throwing under the bed of my mind.

    But after that day, I never saw my religion the same.

    So, without saying a word to anyone, I sneaked out through the back door of the Assembly hall, and got in my car, which was also to my advantage parked in the back. Still one last time I tried to push the doubts out of my head, saying that they were just "imperfect men" like I had ALWAYS heard at the meetings.

    So I turned on the radio to listen to the FM transmission of the talk. Its amazing how I can still remember everthing...

    The brother was saying "Isnt it lovely dear brothes, the spritual paradise that we are now living in? Can you see it? Well thats not enough.. no, You need to feel it and breathe this spiritual paradise that our loving father Jehovah is giving us!

    I could not believe it. Guess who that brother was???

    The Damn D.O!

    At that point I got angry. I was like, "how the hell can you say these things out there in front of thousands of people smiling and making both sisters and brothers literally cry when you just screamed in yelled at a whole bunch of brothers in the back like 5 mins. ago? Yeah some f*cking spiritual paradise you live in you SOB!"

    I was about to turn it off when he said

    "Now you must be aware that not everybody sees and feels this spiritual paradise that we are in my dear brothers. There are EVEN some people HERE at this very assembly, your very brothers and sisters who do not see it or much less feel it in their lives like we do. And why is that my dear brothers? It is because of Satan the devil! Yes they have let Satan take over their mind and blind their view of Jehovahs lovely Organization! And how could this happen?, you may ask. Well, many have let doubts take over their Bible trained conscience and they have become fools to the traps that Satan is using. And what are these traps? The Television, podcasts, radio stations, music and worst of all the internet. Yes dear brothers, the Satan is using the internet not only to cause doubts but to create Apostates! They are evil people filled with rage who lie and tell false stories about the organization. NEVER and I mean NEVER shall we let our minds wander and let Satan take control of our lives and take away from us the gift of everlasting life. We must continue working in the minist..."

    and then I turned it off.

    So I did the unthinkable. I deliberately disobeyed the guy and took out my phone, went to google, typed Jehovahs Witnesses, scrolled down a bit passing the "authorized" websites and found jwfacts, freeminds, and then finally jehovahs-witness.net. And thats how I became mentally free. I love it hear! You guys are all awesome. Its so nice to know that I'm not alone. And it feels good to get a nice little digital "Hug" or "pat on the back" sort to speak from others who are or have gone through the same. I plan to be here for as long as I need to be. And I plan to post whenever I get a chance.

    So, whats your story?

  • nugget

    My husband had been visiting JWN secretly for months and finally after confessing his doubts to me I went on JWN. I can't remember the exact moment that made me log on since for months the site had been part of my life without me being aware of it. It sort of wormed it's way in and then became addictive. It was this site that helped to confirm the key issues with the organisation and it was this site that supported our family through the fading and exiting process.

    It helped my husband make the transition from congregation elder to scary apostate whose words good witnesses are too afraid to read in the Independent newspaper. Got to love that conditioning.

    I have made friends on this site and learnt much.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    My dad had another go at getting me in. I was 52 and he still hadn't managed.

    "You had better hurry up and get in, the generation that saw 1914 are nearly all gone now."

    I read him the riot act.

    When he left I Googled ....... Jehovah's Witnesses false prophets. Within minutes I knew that the WT had trashed that version seven years earlier.

    I joined JWD a couple of days later.

  • irondork

    I had just been reinstated after a 20-year hiatus when, out of boredom, I googled Jehovah's Witnesses. Found JWN, entered... oh, I was appalled! Apostates everywhere!

    Pert near broke my finger trying to click out of here.

    Time passed, doubts set in, questions arose. (finger healed) I knew where to come looking. I lurked for a few weeks and then jumped in. I'm still mostly a lurker. I have also "learnt" a bunch from you guys.

  • man oh man
    man oh man

    7 months ago. Because of the ranting I would not stick around long but would always come back. Now I rant right along with em!

  • N.drew

    I forget.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Told not to miss important announcement to be read following Service Meeting......(WTF?)

    Rumor had it that the Book Study was being discontinued from our Spiritual Banquet.

    "Where did you hear that?" THE INTERNET.

    Yep. it was on the Internet. On JWN.

    Got my copy of the Flock Book here too.

    Finally got enough courage to post.

    Another fool to the traps Satan is using.


  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    That was a great story, ONEDAY. I think the first time I stumbled on here was fall? 2010. It kept coming up as I did research about 587/607.
    It did freak me out a bit, but what is funny is I was REALLY freaked out by apostate YouTube videos at first!

    Now I could make one myself.

  • stillstuckcruz

    I came in here when i was having doubts about the religion. I am a very reasonable person and for so long I felt like I only had one side of the entire story. Being raised in, I never had any opportunity so see anything else, being prevented from seeing any other angle and reading any other material not from the JW's themselves. One day when my family all left the house I googled Jehovahs Witnesses and and found this site along the way.

    I lurked for a long time, finding so many disturbing things. What disturbed be the most in the beginning was the false way they portray apostates. They make it out to seem like everything they say is all lies and if they say or show you anything, its all false and has been printed to their own liking. That apostates are not interested in telling the truth but are seeking to destroy everyones faith, etc,etc,etc,etc. OBVIOUSLY not the case. If not for the internet, I wonder where I would be today.....

  • WTWizard

    I clicked onto my first apostate site because Jehovah himself pxxxed me off one time too many. I did it deliberately--he wasn't doing anything to please me, so I am not doing anything to please him. So, by the time I found this site, I was past any worry about displeasing that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag.

    This goes to illustrate that even Jehovah, being the Almighty Bully and Scumbag he is, cannot escape reaping what he sows.

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