you ever went on JWN?
Do you remember? What made you do it? Where you scared? Why did you do it? Curiousity? Anger? Was it planned or random? Did you give it much thought? Were you a JW or already out? Did any of you come in here at first defending the Watchtower and then slowly changing your mind after you realized the truth about the "truth"? Has it changed? Have any of you met any posters in person? Did you make any friends here? How long do you plan to stay?
I remember the first time I found JWN. It was during a circuit assembly in 2010. I was working in the sound department and was in the back not paying any attention to the speaker, like many others around me. Except I had already heard the talk like 3 times from other Circuit assemblies I had attended because of a new arrangement of recording the entire Assembly and no one else seemed to know what the hell to do or was just to lazy to do it so they picked me and a couple other brothers to do the job. It still makes me laugh though the way elders and MS try so hard to be in a department where they'll be forced to miss out on most if not all of the "spiritual banquet that Jehovah has prepared" for them.
Any way, I remember being in complete shock that the D.O literally screamed at the sound department just because he couldnt hear his voice loud enough in the audience. Yet every one could hear him just fine it was just that there was only one monitor speaker on stage and the brother was I guess a little hard of hearing. I was coming back from the backstage "VIP" bathroom when I heard the following words that marked a change in the way I saw all leadership in the Watchtower; "NO YOU will SHUT UP and listen to me now! You will NEVER have another "privilege" in any assembly if you keep this up! These brothers have to hear MY WORDS from MY talk! Dont you see that its the MOST important one in the WHOLE assembly! YOU are not doing your job! I dont EVER want to See any of you EVER again in any position after this assembly and Ill make DAMN sure you are never used again while I am here."
Yup thats right, he said Damn. Believe it or not.
Funny thing is, I never saw him again after that Assembly. He moved or died or something. But the reason that it shocked me so much was that this D.O was considered to be one of the MOST kind and calm brothers who was just sooo loving and caring above all and was "CLEARLY" sent by Jehovah to take care of his flock.
Well what a bunch of Bull Shit that was!
I was already beginning to have some doubts that where placed like dirty clothes all over the room of my conscience that I just kept throwing under the bed of my mind.
But after that day, I never saw my religion the same.
So, without saying a word to anyone, I sneaked out through the back door of the Assembly hall, and got in my car, which was also to my advantage parked in the back. Still one last time I tried to push the doubts out of my head, saying that they were just "imperfect men" like I had ALWAYS heard at the meetings.
So I turned on the radio to listen to the FM transmission of the talk. Its amazing how I can still remember everthing...
The brother was saying "Isnt it lovely dear brothes, the spritual paradise that we are now living in? Can you see it? Well thats not enough.. no, You need to feel it and breathe this spiritual paradise that our loving father Jehovah is giving us!
I could not believe it. Guess who that brother was???
The Damn D.O!
At that point I got angry. I was like, "how the hell can you say these things out there in front of thousands of people smiling and making both sisters and brothers literally cry when you just screamed in yelled at a whole bunch of brothers in the back like 5 mins. ago? Yeah some f*cking spiritual paradise you live in you SOB!"
I was about to turn it off when he said
"Now you must be aware that not everybody sees and feels this spiritual paradise that we are in my dear brothers. There are EVEN some people HERE at this very assembly, your very brothers and sisters who do not see it or much less feel it in their lives like we do. And why is that my dear brothers? It is because of Satan the devil! Yes they have let Satan take over their mind and blind their view of Jehovahs lovely Organization! And how could this happen?, you may ask. Well, many have let doubts take over their Bible trained conscience and they have become fools to the traps that Satan is using. And what are these traps? The Television, podcasts, radio stations, music and worst of all the internet. Yes dear brothers, the Satan is using the internet not only to cause doubts but to create Apostates! They are evil people filled with rage who lie and tell false stories about the organization. NEVER and I mean NEVER shall we let our minds wander and let Satan take control of our lives and take away from us the gift of everlasting life. We must continue working in the minist..."
and then I turned it off.
So I did the unthinkable. I deliberately disobeyed the guy and took out my phone, went to google, typed Jehovahs Witnesses, scrolled down a bit passing the "authorized" websites and found jwfacts, freeminds, and then finally jehovahs-witness.net. And thats how I became mentally free. I love it hear! You guys are all awesome. Its so nice to know that I'm not alone. And it feels good to get a nice little digital "Hug" or "pat on the back" sort to speak from others who are or have gone through the same. I plan to be here for as long as I need to be. And I plan to post whenever I get a chance.
So, whats your story?