Shunning,, let's twist the knife in a little deeper now !

by man in black 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • poppers

    Sorry for your experience with those heartless people, and kudos to you for showing your humanity to others with your dog.

    I hope your wife's surgery goes well and that she has a rapid recovery. I had my GB removed 4 years ago and it's made a big difference. I hope she's able to have the new kind of procedure - my condition required the old fashioned incision and now I have a very handsome scar. I tell people I got it in a knife fight.

  • AwareBeing

    Greatings man in black and all on board!

    I'd like to clarify the shuning condition from a counseling perspective so we can get a bigger picture of the problem; and thus cope better with it. Please bear with me, as I'm not trying to offend anyone; only cult hypocrites.

    The reason why shunning is so powerful is that it feeds into our emotions. This tends to distort our sense of reality, or truth about the matter. It effects our moods, reactions and faculties in Christ. Here's how it works:

    A) Faulty thinking of an event; 1) "If they hadn't have done it, I wouldn't have had to do what I did!" 2) Stuck in a thought, and wont see things from their view.

    B) Sources of faulty thinking; 1) Sinful nature; refusal to change when presented facts. 2) Placing responsibility for actions on another person; the easy, lazy route to blame the other person. 3) Natural inclination, or inability to understand that others are not controlling ones moods, and that it really is the reactions of the self. 4) Satan's false belief system, he fathers all deliberate liars as they serve his misleading interests.

    C) The price tag to faulty thinking is; 1) Everything is based on reaction to one wrong thought, not reason; and all reactionary events there-after. 2) Such ones are trapped in a cycle of delusion, where others can exploit this trait to control such peoples lives.

    D) Faulty thinking destroys a person by; 1) "I must be perfect"; if not, depression may set in. 2) Striving for popularity, love and approval; this becomes more important than "pleasing God!" 3) "Personal worth equals performance", this is unscriptural competition that creates pride, envy and self righteousness in cliques to out shine other brothers, and do them harm in oder to be "better than them."

    E) Use the TRUTH Model to identify healthy thinking; T = trigger event, R = wRong thoughts, or conclusions, U = unhealthy response, T = truth or reality about the situation, H = healthy reactions a) emotions under control, b) behavior thought out and appropriate.

    F) Developing the mind of Christ by; Identifying the lies a person is telling.

    G) Fight back with the truth; 1) keep repeating the healthy pattern, 2) this is a process to correct wrong thoughts, so be patient and don't give up.

    Again, I don't wish to embarrass anyone; after all it's more an indictment against unloving users who mislead others into doing their dirty work for them.

    PS: man in black; God bless your wife, you & your loving dog.


  • leavingwt

    Man in Black: It would be nice if everyone could simply agree to disagree and respect one another as humans, and not make a big deal of opinions about invisible persons. Sadly, with high-control groups, it's all black and white.

    Try to place yourself into the shoes of the captive, believing, active JW.

    To them, the person who chooses to disassociate himself WANTS to be treated as the worst form of sinner. Otherwise, he or she would have remained a JW.

    To those contemplating disassociation, please understand this. You are not special, unique of different. The chances of your loved ones treating you in a manner different than how they'd treat Judas Iscariot are EXTREMELY low. To expect anything different is to not fully understand how the active JW views the act of disassociation.

    -LWT (of the disassociated class)

  • 00DAD

    "Conditional friendships" are no friendships at all.

    A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress. - Proverbs 17:17

    There exist companions disposed to break one another to pieces, but there exists a friend sticking closer than a brother. - Proverbs 18:24

    MIB, Hope your wife heals quickly!



  • mrquik

    Hi MIB; I am well known throughout the area & run into JWs often. In the beginning, I would avoid them like the plague. It took a while to realize that it's them & not me that has a problem. Now, if I see them in public, I'll actually wait until others are around to walk up & say Hi. I do this loudly to attract attention. Sometimes I'll stick my hand out to shake theirs. I walk up the table they're at to say Hi with people watching. I can't tell you the satisfaction I get watching most of them slink away or stare at their feet. Try it..... eventually they'll flee at seeing you.

  • AwareBeing

    Yeah man in black; our family did something similar to what mrquik did.

    We noticed a group from two different halls in a privet dinning room. It was packed with those who were harboring hateful grudges towards us, as we have turned in their outwardly glowing family members. Who by the way were quite adept at flaunting God's law and breaking WT's rules; while keeping it hidden with the hypocritical aide of their elder relatives.

    We walked straight in with out an invite; still faithful to going to the meetings, though we weren't on speaking terms. Some ran to the back of the room, others sank into their seats, but all had fearfully shocked looks on their faces. Is we quickly shook all hands that we could reach, their faces grew redder, and their silence was only broken by muffled and brief greetings! Later; when paying our bill, we looked back and they had the; "What just happened?" look about them.

    But outside the restaurant our family said: "It was the table of the demons!", "It was worth it to see the look on their faces!", "They deserved that!", "I hope they choke on their food for everything they did to people!", "Oh Jehovah, forgive me for saying that!", "We're never doing that again!", and "That's just bad association! Their not worth it."

  • discreetslave

    Hoping the best for your wife.

  • man in black
    man in black

    thank you all for the nice comments, my wife had her gall bladder removed this afternoon, it was swollen and pretty gross looking.

    I forgot to mention that the witnesses were all taking a break from service yetsreday morning at 11:00, and they didn't leave until 11:55 !

    So much for a full morning in service, or perhaps they just counted that hour in .

    Gotta go and start cleaning the house and doing some laundry !

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I hope your wife recovers well and is duly spoilt by you!

    <--- for your wife

  • ambersun

    I am so glad to hear your wife has had her op and I wish her a very speedy recovery, especially having such a lovely husband to take care of her.

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