Greatings man in black and all on board!
I'd like to clarify the shuning condition from a counseling perspective so we can get a bigger picture of the problem; and thus cope better with it. Please bear with me, as I'm not trying to offend anyone; only cult hypocrites.
The reason why shunning is so powerful is that it feeds into our emotions. This tends to distort our sense of reality, or truth about the matter. It effects our moods, reactions and faculties in Christ. Here's how it works:
A) Faulty thinking of an event; 1) "If they hadn't have done it, I wouldn't have had to do what I did!" 2) Stuck in a thought, and wont see things from their view.
B) Sources of faulty thinking; 1) Sinful nature; refusal to change when presented facts. 2) Placing responsibility for actions on another person; the easy, lazy route to blame the other person. 3) Natural inclination, or inability to understand that others are not controlling ones moods, and that it really is the reactions of the self. 4) Satan's false belief system, he fathers all deliberate liars as they serve his misleading interests.
C) The price tag to faulty thinking is; 1) Everything is based on reaction to one wrong thought, not reason; and all reactionary events there-after. 2) Such ones are trapped in a cycle of delusion, where others can exploit this trait to control such peoples lives.
D) Faulty thinking destroys a person by; 1) "I must be perfect"; if not, depression may set in. 2) Striving for popularity, love and approval; this becomes more important than "pleasing God!" 3) "Personal worth equals performance", this is unscriptural competition that creates pride, envy and self righteousness in cliques to out shine other brothers, and do them harm in oder to be "better than them."
E) Use the TRUTH Model to identify healthy thinking; T = trigger event, R = wRong thoughts, or conclusions, U = unhealthy response, T = truth or reality about the situation, H = healthy reactions a) emotions under control, b) behavior thought out and appropriate.
F) Developing the mind of Christ by; Identifying the lies a person is telling.
G) Fight back with the truth; 1) keep repeating the healthy pattern, 2) this is a process to correct wrong thoughts, so be patient and don't give up.
Again, I don't wish to embarrass anyone; after all it's more an indictment against unloving users who mislead others into doing their dirty work for them.
PS: man in black; God bless your wife, you & your loving dog.