Shunning,, let's twist the knife in a little deeper now !

by man in black 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • man in black
    man in black

    This morning I took my dog who is a therapy dog over to the hospital and visited with several patients. It is quite an experience, and it really helps people undergoing medical treatment to calm down and relax.

    My wife was one of those patients, she is undergoing some tests before getting her gall bladder removed which will probably be sometime tomorrow.

    Afterwards I took the dog home, cleaned her up, and changed my clothes. Since I was alone I drove over to Panara to try one of their breakfast sandwiches, several of the nurses told me that they are pretty good. So I go in, order, turn around and suddenly felt like I was in a jw convention hall. Many witnesses that I knew for years were waiting for their food, standing in line, or walking thru the door. I was shocked to say the least !

    I made eye contact with several, and they all quickly looked away, one sister gave me one of those "you slime of the earth" type looks and I just said to myself,, forget trying to be decent to these people.

    So I got my food, and found an empty booth and just sat there looking around,, witnesses everywhere !

    And as I sat there it really hit me how conditional friendships are with the jw's. There were people that I had known for around 30 years, and not one would meet my gaze. And here they are going door to door looking for new people to follow their belief system, the looks, avoidance, and general feeling of coldness really made me see how much time I wasted being a witness. If you don't believe 100% of what our religion teaches, and you're not serving us all of the time something is wrong with you.

    By the way, I da'ed myself about three years ago.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi man in black. How is your wife doing? The treatment that the JWs gave you was sick! At times like that it would be humorous to do something unexpected, like going up to the JWs, handing them "Crisis of Conscience", and asking if they had read it?

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • AwareBeing

    Hi man in black; nice to hear from you again. T

    Thank you for sharing that awful experience with us here.

    I hope you'll be feeling better about yourself knowing that your not a hypocrite like those people!

    As soon as you wrote Panara , I gasped! There towards the end, the snobbiest, most controlling,

    and prideful started frequenting that place. After a few trips their ourselves, being pumped by personal questions,

    and missing the humbler members of the congo.; we decide it wasn't for us.

    So we started taking out those who were depressed, single parents;

    to places they could afford and they really saw the difference between the clique and us, and appreciated us for that.

    PS: Best to your wife during her operation, especially with no bloody elders in tow! ( Doing the Steve Martin dance...)

  • ambersun

    Oh, man in black, I am so sorry for what you had to endure in Panara. It is bad enough at any time, but the day before your wife is about to have major surgery and you get treated like that!! How wonderfully Christian of them.

    I admire you for dealing with the situation so well and with such dignity. I think I would probably have got so wound up I would have shouted out "thanks for all the CHRISTIAN LOVE and SUPPORT in my hour of need" as I was leaving, just to show them all up. I feel so angry right now

    Please keep us informed of your dear wife's progress. Thank goodness she does not have the elders breathing down her neck about blood.

    Oh, and give that lovely doggy of yours an extra pat from me xxx

  • alanv

    Having a gall bladder removed is no big deal these days. It is done using key hole surgery, and afterwards there is normally nothing stopping you having a normal life. I had mine removed 2 years ago and it made no difference at all to my eating habits. Just try to avoid to much fatty food.

  • blondie

    MIB, it is their loss and the one who gave you the look obviously will get mercy from God as she gave it out.

    Any operation can be a big deal, but I went through GB surgery and it went well. Not everyone qualifies for "keyhole" surgery but if more invasive surgery is needed, that goes well too, just a few more days in hospital.

  • outsmartthesystem

    "And as I sat there it really hit me how conditional friendships are with the jw's."

    But please try to remember that the vast majority of these ones are also victims. They've been given a faulty bible translation. They have been given articles that SAY that the Greeks words used indicate that even a GREETING to a disfellowshipped person is wrong (of course the primary definition of the Greek word used proves this is incorrect). And they have been given countless other articles that twist "the antichrist" into meaning anyone that is disfellowshipped from the religion. They truly trust the GB therefore they have no reason to doubt the information provided. Their conditional love is masked as allegiance with God......therefore they don't see it as conditional love. These ones are victims of propaganda.

  • wobble

    M.I.B all the best to your wife ! Life will get better without that galling bladder !

    My wife wants to get rid of certain unecessary things, I am first on her list I think !

    I have decided to "shun" the Dubs sometimes now, depends who it is, but ones with certain qualities, i.e they will shun me if I don't get in first, I just appear not to notice as they hover on the periphery of my radar.

  • NewChapter

    So you spent the morning comforting sick and scared people, with a dog that you have trained to do such a thing. You eased fears and gave them a smile. And your little doggie beastie partnered with you. (just love therapy dogs---I was treated to a couple in the hospital--it REALLY makes a difference). Your wife is awaiting tests, and you had to leave her in the hospital.

    THEN you pop in for a sandwich, and a group of people that will spend the morning drinking coffee and "comforting" people with pieces of paper, irritating early morning knocks, and flat prepared sermons--and they treat you like DIRT.

    Sounds like you are on the right track my friend! I'd much rather hang out with you and your dogs than these androids.


  • angel.face

    HI MIB,

    I always wondered how the shunning arrangement was a loving one as told at the KH... I was out in FS a few weeks back and a man asked this at the door and the bro I was with went on to say that we do it out of love....YEA!! I totally hear you about the false friendships. They are only your friends if you do what they say how they say. Really and truly, the friendships I had when I was 'worldly' were more meaningful then the friendships with Jws. Because in 'the world' you can confide in your friends, you can tell them anything and they will be there for you regardless of your beliefs. Actually when i became a JW my 'worldly' friends accepted me but I rejected them... which I now regret. Anyway, thanks for sharing. We are here for you :) . Hope all goes well with your wife.

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