My father's funeral

by jwfacts 46 Replies latest jw experiences

  • startingover

    Sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing your experience.

    I just wanted to comment on how your mom may now be treated. My Aunt's husband was a DO, and after he died it became evident real quick that she wasn't as popular as he was. She eventually left the area he served completely. I'm fairly certain it had to do with her personality and that when the position was gone she got treated accordingly.

  • mrsjones5

    I tend to agree with the above. Your mother's status (her husband, your father) is gone. I think things won't be quite the same for your mom going forward. She'll need you more thn she thinks.

    I'm glad you survive your father's funeral which your sanity intact and I'm sorry for your loss.


  • mouthy

    Oh I am so sorry you had to see some folks be rude, I am so happy some were kind.
    As you know I believe MY GOD looks at the heart NOT the religion.

    Wasnt that good of a brother? to pick you up at the airport. Even if it was to help your MUM.
    That should reassure you that even though she will cut you off,
    there will be others who will look out for her ..
    Isnt it horrible to see how our minds can be "cuffed"by men!!!!
    Been there done that. Poor Mum!! she is really going to miss your Dad
    Unless there is a man in the congregation that needs a woman.
    & will be keeping his options open...Love ya kiddo...

  • Quendi

    Thanks for sharing your experience, jwfacts, with us. I am glad you found the strength to attend your father's funeral but outraged at the treatment you received at the hands of most of the Witnesses there. Here was an opportunity to display genuine Christianity and these people failed completely. Kudos to those who did put their humanity ahead of their religion, though.

    This episode has made me all the more determined never to enter a Kingdom Hall again for as long as I live. I would have only two reasons to do so in any case. An elderly aunt, who got baptized in 1956, won't be with us for too many more years; and the mother of a close friend who is also in her eighties, are the only reasons I would ever have for considering going to the Hall and attending their funerals/memorial services. But considering what happened to you, I am certain I would face the same if not harsher treatment. I will try to console my family and friends when the occasion arises, but I see now that going to the Hall to express sympathy and support won't do any good.

    Your father was a good man and had a real love for others. I wonder what he would have felt had he known how you were treated. I'm sure he would have been far from happy about that. At least you and he had made peace over religious questions and had a good relationship. You have many good memories that will console and comfort you in the years ahead. I'm sorry that your mother has not yet found the wisdom your father had. Perhaps she will in time.


  • PSacramento

    I am glad that it went as well, if not better, than you expected.

    As you know Paul, in every religion there are people the transend it's doctrines and are guided by love and not men.

    I know that you have this sense of loss but take comfort in the loving memories that you have and that, while apart physically, you father will always be with you.

    I pray Our Lord fill you with His love and grace and that you are your whole family can find comfort in His and each other's love.

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    It makes me so frustrated that in addition to the natural losses we all will suffer, that the religion piles on its on heap of crap. So glad to hear that you made it home safely and with your integrity intact.

  • zoiks

    Paul, thank you for sharing this with us. You have certainly been through a lot this week; we all, in general, expect to someday lose our parents, and wonder how we'll handle such a difficult time. With the added difficulties that the religion brings, it can be an emotional train wreck. I'm glad that you've pulled through alright in spite of the antisocial behavior of some. Hopefully your mother is able to draw support from her congregation and the many people that she has met over the years.

    I am hoping for some peace, strength, and rest for you and your family.

  • BluesBrother

    My sincere condolences Paul..The loss of a parent is a hard thing to bear, and funerals are a trial for anyone, many times more so in your position.

    Given the prominence of your father, it is good that you were not squeezed out completely, some think they may be setting a precedent. But those who were rude or tactless deserve nothing back.

    I attended a funeral a while back where one daughter of the family was d/f and they integrated her completely, she had been involved in the care of the deceased though so I guess they could not leave her out. I was told that as soon as the formalities were over it was going to be back to "business as usual " though!

    commiserations again.....(BTW I love your site )

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer


    Wish I was there to hug you in person, and relax listening to you tell me more about your father.

    Best regards,

    Marvin Shilmer

  • ABibleStudent

    ((((((jwfacts))))))) it sucks losing a parent, especially one who you love and respect. Your dad sounds like a very caring person and he helped raise a very caring and honorable son. I hope and pray that someday your mom will change her mind about you and that you will continue to write about the WTBTS on

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


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