I missed this a few days ago! NICE.
My Letter to local Newspapaer - Your Feedback Please?
Cofty... you rock!
In the second line of the second paragraph which reads 'plenty good', the word 'of' is missing.
In line with what others are saying, it probably does need simplifying somewhat for the benifit of your potential readers. I know how it is, you begin with something in mind that you want to say and before you know where you are you have written an essay!
Do make sure that you make it as simple, clear and concise as you can or you will be fodder for Witness critics.
The Watchtower are very careful that they get their spelling and grammar correct and you must do the same if you want to win the hearts of your readers (I myself am always checking my spelling).
In all, it's a very good shot at exposing the cult but you have but one chance to get it right so check it and check it again.
I always find it helpful to write something, leave it a couple of days if you have time, then look at it afresh with a clear objective. Very often areas that can be simplified or clarified in some way become more apparent.
I do hope that this is helpful and it is only my intention to offer help and not criticism since that is what you asked us for.
My only desire is that you achieve your objective and I wish you the very best in your effort.
Great stuff cofty . . . nice to see it published. I thought the singular point of their seperatist attitude, while not as controversial as the blood and child abuse issues, still conveyed the point quite nicely. The point made regarding the absence of any positive contribution to the community came through well and will have more local import IMO.
The pro-letter looked a bit more emotive rather then rational alongside. Yellow stars? . . . I thought it was purple triangles.
I received the following brief letter in the post today from a senior teacher at a local private school.
Dear Mr Blyth
May I congratulate you on your excellent letter to the Advertiser last week.
I am indirectly affected by the JW's and I agree with your carefully constructed letter that makes many valid points.
A local landowner also flagged me down as I was driving along a rural road yesterday to congratulate me on the leter. Good to know it was noticed.
I have seen a few JW's this week and their shunning is a little bit more blatant than usual. I wil be interested to buy this week's edition to see if there are any replies.
Thanks again for all your input and encouragement.
You ROCK Cofty!
A true local hero! Well done cofty, it was a well written letter.
Lovely job the educating of the public goes on apace
Jungle drums tell me more action in today's paper. Anything interesting?
Now you got me wondering St George? I haven't bought a copy of my local paper today, what have you heard?