Tuesday, September 11, 2001 - The Day My JW Faith Began to Die (finally)

by AllTimeJeff 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • willyloman

    Jeff: poignant post, a lot to think about.

    For readers who want more, here is another thread with more memories of that fateful day:


  • daringhart13


    WOW....this is the best post I've ever read on here.......selfishly, I admit......because you and I have lived parallel lives. I too was a 'hot shot' elder at 27....... I felt like I was reading MY STORY....... I got goose bumps.

    I too was that 'popular, loving elder'......who really cared......and found out after my appointment how many elders are addicted to porn, how many are flat our alcoholic drunks, cheat in business........and the pedophilia???? My god, I taught the part at Kingdom Ministry School for elders..... and it ripped my heart out.

    I left in Feb. 2009........from WT Conductor, Book Study Conductor and the seemingly appointed Chairman of all Judicial Committees one week......to totally disappeared in 7 days......I realize now that they also "took me and molded me into their own"..........they took my personal gifts and used the hell out of me. I feel used..........and so angry inside.

    Thank you so much for posting this......I'm sitting here in pieces right now. I'm not alone..... reading your story made me actually realize....I am .....Not.......alone.............

    I'd like to get to know you and your story more......

  • NewChapter

    Thanks Jeff.

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    Amen to your thread my friend, Amen.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Another terrific post ATJ!

    I was appointed an elder shortly after 9/11. I remember the first visit of the CO not long after the attacks where he made a statement that made my wife and I cringe. He said something to the effect that the destruction on 9/11 was nothing compared to the kind of stuff we'll see in the GT and the big A, as if we're all just watching fireworks and waiting for the big finale.

    I just remember thinking this is it, this system won't last another decade. Ha!

  • lrkr


    Very well written and touching.

    My epiphany came from events surrounding 9/11 also- although not at that exact time. I was listening to an interview with a muslim extremist on National Public Radio some years later. The fellow was asked about his view on the death of innocents- and he basically said "there are no innocents" The Christians and Jews deserve to die and should die because they oppose Islam. The interviewer went further and asked about fellow Muslims who die. He said that Muslims who are from a different creed or background (Sunni, Wahabi, Shia, etc) are also not true believers and must die according to the holy books.

    I thought- "Thats what we think!" People who do not believe the same as we do should die- and will die in Armageddon!! The rididulous-ness of it hit me like a load of bricks- that someone should allow or condone the death of another based on their interpretation of an old document- is insanity. Why is Mother Theresa considered an evil person by the Witnesses? Because of her thoughts on the trinity or cross or the roman heirarchy- meanwhile she is universally known as a selfless, charitable individual.

    That epiphany did more for my exit than anything else.

    Thanks for the post Jeff- it brought back my thoughts.


  • mythreesons

    Thanks Jeff!!

    I agree, that was one of the best posts I have ever read! I too was appointed an elder at 26. That was 8 years ago. I was a MS on 9/11 and I remember how sick I was at the needless deaths of so many. I remember thinking it wasn't fair, and I also remember an elder telling us that it was a preview of the big A. It made me sick!

    I went on though, just pushing it to the back of my mind.

    I became an elder and was one for 5 1/2 years. My wife and I left together January 2009 (6 months after I resigned as an elder). We quit cold turkey and haven't been back. We have 3 young children and we wanted to make sure what we were teaching them was the truth. It's funny but we would say to each other, "If we were to choose a way of life (that we weren't born into) there is NO WAY that we would have chose this one (JW)." The elders came by and were baffled as to why we left...they said, "one day you are conducting the Watchtower, giving talks on the assemblies, and everyones favorite elder. Then poof!"

    Honestly though, it was the only way we could leave...we couldn't stomach what we were hearing and teach that to our kids any more.

    Here's to remembering the people who lost there lives (and their families who live on) that horrific day, and to those of us who found our lives and began to live.

  • Giordano

    I'd been long out when 911 happened. So I didn't make a religious connection to my own life as directly as some here but when Jonestown happened well that was all about religion, demented for sure but it was about religion. Any of you JW lurkers out there google Jonestown and see what happens when people allow a doctrine to override their own good sense. This is what happens to JWS each and every year except they are not all lying in a field for us to see..... it's hidden away. But this is the reality of that belief.

    After Jonestown, I lost any respect I might of still had.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Thank you Jeff for your post .

    It really got me to thinking about what 9/11 did to my faith too . My family and I were all still in the org at that time and quite involved . I remember the push for service that month was to just use the Bible ,and be consoling to those we met . It left an impression on me that at the Thurs. night meeting that week was business as usual ...other than a brief mention in the final prayer of those that had died not much else was said . On TV I had been watching how people were really pulling together for each other and how heroic some had been . Then at the meeting it was as if nothing had happened .Silently I pondered what the meaning of this was ... what WOULD it be like when the GT started ?

    I think a crack in my faith began that day . I saw the world was full of people that did have brotherly love for each other ,strangers were risking their own lives to aid others . It slapped me in the face how important it is to be really involved in the community in ways that met peoples real life ,immediate needs .

    I took part in going door to door that month trying to share hope ,but in my heart I was feeling something major was missing . That day I began feeling as if I was on the outside looking in ...

  • AllTimeJeff

    I am glad that I was not alone either... :)

    The biggest challenge any person faces is to know themselves first, then be true to themselves after. Hopefully, reflecting on the meaning of 9/11 has helped us all in that endeavor.

    It seems to me that for any sane person who was a JW around 9/11, how the real zealous, dyed in the wool JW's acted would have been a real clue to the value of the JW religion. (which is to say, it has very small amounts of value)

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