Did YOU Feel Abused By The Elders?

by minimus 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • Apeman

    No, I never felt abused by them, but I often butted heads with them and was singled out for a lot of 'counsel' that was questionable to say the least due to me having a somewhat strong personality for a JW.

  • Lozhasleft

    It would be unfair to generalise and say that all of the elders I knew were abusive. Definitely many of them were. In a 'christian' organisation abuse should not exist at all.

    Loz x

  • sizemik
    Did YOU Feel Abused By The Elders?

    Actually much of the answer lies in the question . . .

    Many were made to feel abused by otherwise good and well-meaning people . . . simply because of the structure, doctrine and leadership under which all were compelled to operate.

  • factfinder

    The PO refused to let me aux pioneer or pray in the cong etc because of personal differences and wrongdoing on the part of elders I was a witness to.

    An elder who was studying with me and was my book study conductor and close friend choked me unconscience. He was very abusive verbally and emotionally as well.

  • PaintedToeNail

    I never really did, I always thought the elders' lot was a difficult one and their families lot in life is even worse. Hubby/daddy never home, giving every other kid time and your kids are put last. Wifey gets to be a single mom and has to be on display all the time as the good, meek, mild, supportive wife, whilest troublesome sisters who won't take advice monopolize hubby's time. (No I was never married to an elder, and had the good sense to never want to be).


  • Jadeen

    I recently got back in touch with someone that I grew up with- we hung out with different groups, so we didn't hang out back then. She told me one night about how a couple of the power trip elders called her into the back room, supposedly to encourage her to get baptised.

    What was supposed to be 15 minutes turned into 2 hours. She said that they ripped apart everything that she did- her good grades, her friends, how she spent her time, etc. She was bawling as she was telling me this. I said, "It was like they mentally and emotionally raped you, wasn't it?" She just nodded, still crying. She went from being a happy, friendly, and social girl to a traumatized shadow.

    That was when she was 16. She's in her mid 30's and the way she was treated still affects her today. Unfortunately, even though she's physically out, mentally she's still in.

  • minimus

    "Elder abuse" has 2 meanings, huh?

  • kimbo



    MIB I do it to keep my wife happy. I know many here would say that I have a sham marriage based on lies but I care deeply for her and I know she wont leave because almost her entire family are JWs...elders, pioneers, bethelites, etc. She is not a "diehard" JW and will even complain about things on occasion but "apostasy" NEVER! When I wasnt serving for about 2 yrs because we moved to a different cong. she begged me to reach out again and was very quarralsome with me. So when the elders asked me if I was reaching out (they tried to reappoint me after a couple mos but I told them no) I reluctantly said yes and was reappointed the next CO visit. I basically sit there, dont volunteer for anything, do my assignments nothing more. Its annoying but surviveable.

  • fokyc

    YES! and because my wife is still in; th ey still do!

    It is mental abuse by continually lying about almost everything,

    the Elders even lie about the organisation's publications and their websites.

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