This is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a Jehovah's Witness. You won't be seeing any more of them.
My wife and I were up before dawn on Friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking. We talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen. We talked about things we'd been avoiding talking about and we came to a better understanding of one another. The best understanding in decades. My assumptions that she was judging me against a set of standards established by her spiritual masters were completely off base, as were my assumptions that she was sharing our discussions with people in the Kingdom Hall. The opposite in fact is the case as she will brook no intrusion into our private lives by anyone, no matter who. She accepts me without qualification for the imperfect man I am and I accept her for who she is too, which is the most beautiful person I have ever known. All she wants in the world is to love and be loved by me and for the two of us to be happy together for the rest of our lives. Nothing matters more. I now believe if that means her leaving the Society she would, as much as she would grieve the loss of her social network and contact with family who are also Jehovah's Witnesses. But I am not going to ask her to do that and for that consideration she is much relieved. If she someday awakens to the truth about The Truth, fine, and maybe I will be able to gently help her somehow but it is no longer a priority in my life. There will be no more angry words from me, no more tears and anxiety for her. After more than 30 years the elephant has at last left the room and we're ok. Finally ok.
There are individuals in here who have experienced wrecked marriages, others whose marriages are under enormous pressure, all because of their inability to find common ground around the Watchtower. For those of you who are struggling, it could be the Watchtower is more a complication contributing to the discord between you and your spouse rather than the reason for it. Or maybe you are giving the Watchtower power over your life that it does not actually have. If you love one another, really love another, you can prevail. And maybe all you really need to do is understand and accept one another for who you are.