Finding peace

by Nickolas 31 Replies latest social relationships

  • Nickolas

    if you're not having meaningful INTERACTIONS with the JW you're trying to rescue, don't expect any results.

    I could not agree with you more, Donny. Without interaction there can be no meaningful dialogue. Without dialogue there can be no understanding and without understanding there can be no results. My greatest failing throughout the years has been my inability to dialogue with my wife about the Watchtower without getting impatient, frustrated or angry. As a consequence, whenever the elephant was addressed my wife braced herself. She raised her defenses, dug in her heels and closed her mind - which had the inevitable result of me getting impatient, frustrated or angry. It was a vicious cycle that went on for more than 30 years. If I am honest with myself, and if there is blame to be apportioned for whatever unhappiness we've had between us, the lion's share belongs to me. Had I been loving and patient from the outset it is entirely plausible that I would not be here in this forum today.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Its very hard to be loving when you feel powerless....and that is what the WTS had done to your relationship without you recognising are NOT to blame for that.'

    It just took a while to figure out who you were at war with...and it wasn't your wife.

    THey get so involved and imeshed in peoples family life..of course the lines are blurred. And when you are living with it you have to be mastermind to figure out what is theirs and what is yours.

    There is a place for anger, and a place for understanding. But always it should come from a place of love and respect. For yourself, and for your partner.

    Well done Nick...I am so pleased for have no idea how much. I could see your mind unfolding in your posts and it was great to see, and very inspiring.

  • Nickolas

    Thanks again, all.

  • PSacramento

    When Love is there, Love ALWAYS finds a way.

    Words can't express how happy I am for you my friend :)

  • tec

    So happy for you, Nickolas. I know how much you love your wife, and that things have been especially difficult over the past year. Good for both of you.

    Peace (which you have found),


  • garyneal

    Good post.

  • AGuest
    If you want them to wake up you need to love them unconditionaly. If they don't wake up it will not be because you did not try.

    That applies to EVERY segment of the human population, does it not, dear Nick (the greatest of love and peace to you!)? No matter WHAT it is you are trying to communicate/get them to understand/accept? Doesn't cut both ways... but ALL ways, IMHO. I am glad that YOU see this!

    Had I been loving and patient from the outset it is entirely plausible that I would not be here in this forum today.

    Yes. For some people, "tough" love does NOT work. Changing another's paradigms is NOT a "one size fits all" endeavor! Glad you got THAT, too - LOLOLOLOL!

    Peace to you... and your dear wife, dear one!

    YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

    SA, humming "What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!"

  • Dudu

    The hammer didnt make the beautiful and soft shapes in the river rocks... the water did with it dance and sweetness. Where roughness only destroy , softness can sculpt.

  • Quandry

    So very happy that you have found peace and co-existence. Perhaps you will be taking regular boat rides...they seem to work wonders!

  • Nickolas

    Now a week since that boat ride. We're going out again at dawn and it just doesn't matter if we catch any fish or not because we're going to be together. Nothing else matters. It has been a wonderful week for both of us. I almost feel as if I am, we are, waking up after a few decades of perceiving reality separately and in abstraction. I suppose it's all an abstraction, anyway. My perception is this: we are all of us in a slip stream heading into eternity and our time together is infinitesimally small. Before we know it, it will be gone. All these people who love us and who are riding along with us are precious beyond understanding, no matter what we or they believe to be reality. We're all wrong, anyway, so what does it matter?

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