In answer to your question SIAM, it wasn't easy. While my wife is a laid back witness that doesn't agree completely with all the JW things, she still believes they are being directed by God.
I first revealed how I felt while driving for a weekend getaway. I had asked my wife if she ever felt that something just wasn't right in the org. She responded by saying that there was nothing she had really thought about or seen. So I told her that I had this feeling that something just wasn't right for a little while now. (Part of my issue was also that I had burned myself out with "spiritual activity".) And because of that, I had begun to do "research". (I had already started to lurk here on this site because of my overwhelming thoughts and doubts.)
I let her know some of the things that were bothering me and just no longer made sense. (At this time I was still a MS. So I was able to express some of the things I came across in that position.) She seemed to understand where I was coming from, but was worried and warned me to be careful about apostates online. This was the start of it.
As time progressed, I began to feel it was necessary to say more rather than to give her false hope that this was just "a passing thing". So on the way home from dinner, perhaps a year later from my first conversation, I revealed that I no longer believed this was the truth.
It just came out! What a relief it was to me, but a bombshell to my wife! That really threw her for a loop and she remained stressed out for a little while about it. There wasn't much I could say to comfort her during any conversation we had after that. Things reached the point to where she was just shy of outrightly calling me apostate. Our conversations would become rather heated, despite us both struggling not to let it reach that point.
I would let time pass before I tried to reveal anything else. Then came the night I took her to a see a play. (I don't know why, but I seem to choose enjoyable events to say how I feel and at times end up ruining the night.) I told her I no longer wanted or had the desire to go out in the ministry. I could not see myself promoting something that I no longer believed fully and inviting others to join me knowing inside I was contemplating a way out. Needless to say, that was another bombshell to my wife. She said that now she feared that the only thing left would be for me to say I no longer wanted to attend meetings. I expressed that I could see that being a future possibility.
For a few weeks after that, she would try to invite me out in service. She would get ready to leave in the morning and give me the disappointed look that I wasn't going. I gave in about 2-3 times and finally expressed to her how difficult it is to just act like I was enjoying it in front of other people. I would be a hypocrite according to JW's if either I went out in service but didn't feel it in my heart or just stayed home and became bloodguilty. (I found the bloodguilty route to be easier , for me at least. LOL)
There are probably a lot more details, but this is the gist of it. Her demeanor has changed, I must admit though. She actually seems a lot more comfortable with my decisions now. One of the things I strove to share with her was the effect of fear. Anything I said that was contrary to our JW life scared her.
My way to try to help her deal with this was sharing a line from the movie Batman Begins. LOL One of the villians in that said that "you always fear what you don't understand." I told her she was scared because she could not relate to or understand how I felt. And I asked how she thought I felt, suddenly facing a change in what I believed all my life. As she began to try to relate to some of my feelings, it seemed to cause a calming over her sentiments.
While that didn't automatically change things, it did help her to start to loosen up a little. And I often asked her, as has been suggested on this site, whether I treated her differently as a husband. She admitted that no, I didn't change. She actually felt it brought us closer, with all the talking we were doing.
Currently, I can't complain too much with the way things are. For example, many times, if she's tired and doesn't feel like going to the meeting, like this past weekend, (she knows I won't go without her) she remains just as happy for me to stay home with her or enjoy myself doing something else.
I don't know what the future holds, but so far I'm not feeling stressed out because of it.