One step closer to freedom!

by OneDayillBeFree 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I feel very sorry you, young woman. You don't appear to know your own mind very well yet.

    Of course she doesn't. She's a member of a mind control cult. That's what she's seeking freedom FROM. She's certainly not looking to jump into another judgmental belief-system of fairy-tales and mumbo-jumbo.

    You use the loaded phrase "the world" very much like JWs do. There is nothing evil about "the world." "The world" is US. We ARE the world. Rather than hide from that fact, sheltered by cult delusions, OneDayillBeFree is seeking a safe path to freedom.

  • OneDayillBeFree

    Thank you all for your replies...

    been snooping in here all day, but theres just something I have to make clear for some before it goes any further...

    First things first;

    I am male, not female. And very much on the "straight" side if I may add. (For more info please read, or at least skim through my first post if you'd like to better understand my life, I do know it is quite lengthy).

    Secondly, I would like to say that this in no way is easy for me... I stuggle with this everyday. I feel it eating my insides away slowly.

    And Shechaiyah I apologize for not being more clear, but that was not the freedom I was refering to... As you may know there are many, many Jehovah's witnesses who are inslaved to the money cycle and are just as self-centered as non-witnesses, at least that is the case in my hall, and I would'nt be surprised if others agreed. And no I am not acting phony, Like I said i am fading... its not a light switch type deal here, trust me, if I could have left I would have by now. There are a couple who are aware of my situation, few who have wondered, serveral who have paid no attention all, and many who have started gossip, but I dont really care much about that. And also, I believe that no single human being ever knows there mind that well at all but I'm still young so I guess only time will tell...

    Oh and on a side note, thanks for capitalizing the "T" in truth... really made me pause a bit there... but oh well cary on...


  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    OneDayillBeFree, I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs across the water. You'll find the inner strength to walk away one day soon I know you will. Keep posting x

    Paula x

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    I've been biten a few times on this site. Must remember there are all types... For the most part it is + but not all the time... I used to be my happy face here but now feel more like a wet cat? You are doing great and yes it is extreamly hard!!! Keep up the good work MAN!FS

  • rebel8

    I was out mentally when I went to the school, mostly. I was in a physically and financially abusive situation at my jw parent's house so I did not have any resources at all to leave or refuse to go to the school. Had I been able to get out I definitely would have not attended.

    It was a bizarre experience. The textbook was a bunch of rechewed cud they had already told us 1000 times before in assemblies and such. Nothing new at all. It was not "encouraging" to me or any of the others from my kh who went with me. We all felt more discouraged and depressed about jwism and pioneering. The school exposed pioneering for the facade it really is.

    They had a mandatory speaker at lunch and you had to tell your life story. I told a story about having doubts and resolving them in my school library by confirming the Evolution book's teachings in encyclopedias. [Part of that was true except the encyclopedias and other books totally disproved the wts teachings and in fact I found they had misquoted secular sources.] People cried after hearing this "encouraging" story. [I felt a lot of guilt about this for a long time. Again, my suggestion is save yourself the guilt and just don't go.]

    Each day we went in service with a "senior" pioneer who was supposed to teach us his or her most special secret tactics. My assigned partner's technique was lying. He would "overcome objections" by agreeing with everything the householder said, then asking if they would take the literature or listen to a scripture. One householder stated our doctrines were incorrect and he even agreed with that, IIRC, then just went on to ask if she'd like a Truth book. It was not a special experience to go in field service during pioneer school.

    There was no feeling of the Holy Spirit floating around or anything of the kind.

    Afterwards the dubs acted like we had gotten doctorate degrees or something--we had super special knowledge, having graduated from a 2-week seminar of regurgitated sales techniques invented in 1932.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Rebel8, you make a great point. If there was holy spirit, why the need for any training at all? The Bible says the holy spirit will give you the words to say when you need them. Of course, this is IF YOU HAVE HOLY SPIRIT at all, which the Borg doesn't.

  • ABibleStudent

    OneDayillBeFree - My dream is to one day wake up in the morning and breath the air of freedom, freedom from this cancer I currently live in. And walk out the door with a smile on my face and feel the wind pass me bye and whisper gently in my ear that everything's going to be okay as I place my first step out into the world and never ever look back.

    Hi OneDayillBeFree, I hope and pray that your dreams come true. If they don't come as soon as you want, keep on posting and working to achieve your dreams until they do. Never give up on your dreams!!

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • jamiebowers

    Welcome, Oneday! Hope your fade goes quickly and well!

    What is stopping you from just walking away from it all?

    Because chances are good that he'll be shunned by everyone he's ever, friends, business associates...anyone and everyone who is a jw.

  • hellenback

    I have been out for 7 years now. The world is an amazing place imperfect yes, at times scary yes. Exciting ,thought provoking educational, mind blowingly beautiful. I have met some lovely people who are not religious or judgemental. I learned that not everything that makes you feel good is sinful. I met an amazing woman (love at first sight) not religious but spiritual, fun, funny ,sexy, intelligent, independant, hardworking , opinionated (in a good way) thought provoking and someone who I will love for the rest of our lives together. I was married to a witnes lady who like most was judgemental with everything was mind numbingly boring. She completely changed once she snared me and i put up with it for 7 years.

    Im out now and happier than ever, have a good job and enjoy life. So OneDayillBeFree Get out of it as soon as you can and start living its scary to start with but you will be free which is how we are meant to be. Good luck

  • shechaiyah

    Dear OneDayIllBeFree,

    Giving your situation some more thought ... because your pain is palpable ... I wonder to what extent your prayer life can help you.

    Does Jehovah JUST WANT you to be free, or does he want you to LEAD THE ORGANIZATION back to its roots in Truth?

    Quitting might be more convenient; but staying and leading might be more valuable to Jehovah, albeit much HARDER to do.


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