This is my first post under my own user name since I usually use my husband's account to post on here. I thought it would be appropriate to use it for the first time since the post is about what happened to me today. And, for those who are wondering, it wasn't as meiserable as I thought it was going to be at first. Just like all of you would have probably felt, I was banging my head against the wall wondering why I agreed to go in the first place. There were no concerned/nosey brothers asking impertinent questions or anything of the sort because it was just her and I who went, and because its not exactly common knowledge on our old congregation that we are no longer attending. So, before I told my friend, she wasn't aware. I went because to my uber-dub but well-meaning friend, service is a pasttime, and I had not seen her for quite some time.
The way I feel about the truth is that it has the same merrits and flaws as any other religion and it promotes similar judeo-christian ethic that pretty much any other religion does. Given its restorationist mindset, the rigid ideals and the all or nothing attitude so they can stick it to the "Catholic Pagan Whores" is - well - whatever.. If someone needs the structure the WTS provides to feel under control, then its on them, but my ideas are my own so they are not harming me at all. But that doesn't make me love my friend any less and she is in no way harsh or judgemental about my beliefs, but as a good JW friend, she thinks she can in some way help "save me". I have known her for a long time and she has always been a friend through thick and thin and has never been one to use anyone's personal life as a party favor to pass around at Dub social gatherings and the like. As expected, it was mostly not-at-homes, and only 2 people accepted literature that my friend offered (just the invite to the DC) just to be polite. No, magical-thinking involved, no religious doctrine being pushed on people so it didn't really irk me in any way, nor with my pacifist attitude would it if it was. And, really its up to the householder to accept or reject the ideas being offered, just like anyone else.
So, as I expected, I made absolutely no impact in anyone's life today, nor was I aiming to make one. If there was any point that I was trying to make is that I would not simply abandon a relationship with my friend because we dont see eye-to-eye in terms of what we believe. It was just time that I spent with my friend talking about just random stuff like friends do. Of course, she did ask me why I wasn't going to the meetings and I responded truthfully in saying that it was because I never felt a love for Jehovah nor had any personal relationship with him and never thought of him as a real person. I only did it because I was made to. I couldnt risk embarassing my family by being just like all those other brother's and sisters kids who turned worldly and basically did everything in their power to crap on their parents honor in spite of them. She, as any good JW encouraged me to seek a pesonal relationship with Jehovah and let him bless me so I could see him as more real. All I responded was, that faith intrinsically begets risk and that was something I was having trouble with.. You know, left it sort of wishy-washy like that. She didn't press the issue. So that was what came out of just two meager hours devoted to hanging out with my friend; time I would have otherwise wasted probably doing something else equally as unimportant.
By the way, It's really nice to finally introduce myself formally on this forum.