Still Amazed to Have Escaped

by leavingwt 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  leavingwt

  I escaped the WT more than three years ago. Yet, even today, I'm still amazed, surprised and thankful that I got out. It's easy for me to imagine having never getting the information I needed to make a clean break. If the Internet not been available, and if a former JW friend had not read 'Crisis of Conscience', it's not a stretch to say that I'd still be a WT slave. I was a true believer.

  I consider myself very foturnate to have gotten out alive.

  Does anyone else ever feel the same way? I know that many of you figured it out on your own. I'm not among that group. I needed help, I needed facts, I needed details. I didn't have a gut feeling telling me that something was wrong. Why? I think I had spent decades denying myself the ability to focus on what I wanted. I was quick to dismiss any contradictory thoughts as being from Satan, etc.
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  aSphereisnotaCircle

  I feel that way. I still cannot believe that I managed to escape.

  I was a believer, no doubts at all, jah was a huge comfort for me.

  If I had had a few less incidents with the elders, I would still be in today.

  I wanted to believe.
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  Magwitch

  I am so thankful I escaped! I guess I can thank my ex-husband and many of the chauvinistic, hypocritical elders for being so unreasonable. They finally gave me the courage to stand up and say - I am out of here and I am taking my daughters with me - Just try and stop me!
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  zoiks

  I was a true believer as well. In my mind, individuals could err and show bad traits, but Jehovah's Organization was always right and Jehovah would take care of everything.

  To me, it was THE TRUTH in every way.

  LWT, you said

  I was quick to dismiss any contradictory thoughts as being from Satan, etc.

  Yes, this was exactly the case with me. And if I heard or read anything contrary or 'apostate', I would react physically. I steered clear of anything on the internet that was about or even purportedly by JWs.

  It has been an unlikely and wonderful journey.
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  leavingwt

  Yes, this was exactly the case with me. And if I heard or read anything contrary or 'apostate', I would react physically. I steered clear of anything on the internet that was about or even purportedly by JWs.

  Yes, I can remember the physiological responses, including increased heartrate and fear/paranoia. Now, I'm an author of "apostate" material, right here.
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  Nickolas

  And the best part is you are now actively helping others to escape, too.

  Every success, Donny.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Having thoroughly analyzed my path, it seems inevitable that I would come out of Watchtower. I am not bragging. Those out, no matter the path, should applaud themselves for managing something as wonderful as breaking free from such deep-rooted mind-control. But so much is wrong with WTS that many of us would have found a different path out if the one we did take were interupted/broken.

  LWT, despite your sureness that you didn't have a gut-feeling, you managed to look at contrary information and accepted it. WOO HOO!
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  leavingwt

  And the best part is you are now actively helping others to escape, too.

  Well, I do what I can. It is quite amazing to review the many threads and emails where individuals have read suggested items and later thanked me. I feel like I'm obligated to at least recommend what helped me. We're all very different, of course, but some material resonates with many.

  I try to also WARN people of what severe, negative fallout can happen if/when one leaves the WT. It's not an irrational fear to think you'll lose all of your friends and family. It's a very REAL possibility, or even probability.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Having thoroughly analyzed my path, it seems inevitable that I would come out of Watchtower. I am not bragging. Those out, no matter the path, should applaud themselves for managing something as wonderful as breaking free from such deep-rooted mind-control. But so much is wrong with WTS that many of us would have found a different path out if the one we did take were interupted/broken.

  LWT, despite your sureness that you didn't have a gut-feeling, you managed to look at contrary information and accepted it. WOO HOO!
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  leavingwt

  OnTheWayOut: Man, I hope you're right. It just seems in retrospect, I was addicted to the cult, even if followig the dogma personally affected me in real, negative ways. Until I snapped and realized that it wasn't true, after much careful research and reflection, leaving the organization (or viewing it as not being true) seemed unfathomable. However, at some level, it seemed that simply slowing down and listening to myself and reflecting upon what I had seen at Bethel and what I had seen around me -- in the real world -- was slowly bringing me to a realization. I simply don't know.