Still Amazed to Have Escaped

by leavingwt 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I know I would still be a slave of the WT if the pedophile had not moved into the congregation. My elder husband had so much control over me that every time I questioned anything about the religion he had an answer to shut me up. It was a lot like Cult Classic said her husband did the first time she questioned the FS.

    Even when dateline aired in 2002 and I was going through hell with the body of elders about my abuisve parents my husband told me that it was all probably just made up. Even with us knowing the Anderson's at Bethel and knowing that they would not just say or do things against the religion unless they had proof, I must have still wanted to believe the religion I guess. It was the easy route. I did not have to think or fight just do as I was told. It was the fighting that caused me to stay. Every question I had wound up in a fight, my husband telling me my thinking was skewed. All I was around were JW's and I was the only one who thought things were wrong so I believed I had to be the crazy one. How could I be the only one who saw things so differently? Thank God for this board.

    Then it hit me square in the face when a man who I knew had raped kids moved into the hall. If I had not known of his past he would have been running mikes and handing out literature, the elders did not get a letter from his former hall saying he was a child molester like we are told they do. It did not happen nor would it if I had not been on them. I am sure he would have been an MS by now if it were not for me not that I am bragging it is just the way it was. I did the unthinkable and went against the elders, I challenged them. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I lost 20 pounds did not sleep more then two to three hours a night for almost a year. But I could not stop. I just knew in my heart that my thinking was not skewed or that I was nuts this time like I always let myself believe before. The religion was crazy I fianlly understood, not me like the elders truly told me to my face that I was crazy.

    It was then I had to make a chose to stand against evil or go with the flow. Going with the flow would have been easy but I just could not do it it would have killed. It has almost cost my marriage and if it were not for this board I would have went crazy trying to understand why I was being treated like I was.

    I wish my husband was not still a believer I just cannot grasp how he can see the pain I have been in the sleepless nights and my sadness how horribly I have been treated by the elders, yelled at treated worse then pond scum and still say that he feels God is with the cult? I envy all of you who have left with your mates.

    I just really appreacate all of you so much leavingwt your posts are so great as is the new ones like totallyADD. There are so many that I relate to such as Cult Classic Midgwich, Flipper and his wife. I swear this board has saved my life. There have been many times dying seemed my only out.

    Without this board I would probably still be trapped as I do not think I would have had the knowledge to get the strength to leave. I am just so gald this board it here.


  • leavingwt
    Even when dateline aired in 2002

    LITS: Thank you for bringing this up. When the 2002 NBC Dateline report aired with Barbara Anderson, here is what the local presiding overseer said about it:

    "We know that it's all lies, because Bethel doesn't use women for research."

    Epic fail on his part. The blind leading the blind.

  • Quendi

    I want to thank leavingwt very much for starting this thread. I count myself more than fortunate to have escaped the WTS cult. I think of myself as blessed. Yet it was very difficult for me to leave, and I did not make a clean break until June 2010. So it has been just a little more than a year of freedom for me.

    For me it started with an elder friend introducing me to the writings of preterist thinkers. I also looked into older WTS publications and later on read Don Cameron's Captives of a Concept. Then my elder friend was disfellowshipped in absentia for apostasy. But it was also my being disfellowshipped and subsequently having my efforts to get reinstated continually rejected that finally opened my eyes to the fact that the WTS is no more God's organization than the Pope is Jewish.

    JWN and were significant mileposts on my spiritual path as well. Both of these websites, and the wonderful people I have met and corresponded with through them, made me realize that I had been spiritually assaulted and abused. If I were to reclaim my life I would have to reinstate my critical thinking abilities as well as free will. Still, like so many others who have posted on this thread, I am amzed that I got out at all, especially when I consider the friends and family I have who are still trapped inside this horrible cult. Now that I have my freedom again, I will never take it for granted.


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